


ion square

by lowkeyamen



Series: life is strange [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Kink, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, Hyung Kink, Johnten BFFS!, Lingerie, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Smut, Starting A Family, Ten is non-binary, Unplanned Pregnancy, baby!mark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 09:22:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 79,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20776247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowkeyamen/pseuds/lowkeyamen
Summary: There must be something in the water, because everyone around Johnny seems to be getting knocked up.





	1. caramacklemore

**Author's Note:**

> so here it is!! the extended version of my enrara fic  
when I was writing it I got a little carried away and it ended up being crazy long so I decided to post a sort of,,,snippet for enrara, with the longer, full version coming later. And this is it!!!
> 
> I know there was a cliffhanger at the end of something in the water, but you're gonna have to wait a little longer to find it what happens because this fic start waaaay back at the beginning!  
And although it is still a johnjae fic it does also focus on some of the other characters and couples (and some new ones!) in more detail too. 
> 
> Anyway I hope u enjoy!!

"Johnny?"

Johnny hummed along to the song blaring through his headphones. I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany. He had actually forgotten Ten was in the same room as him; he most definitely wouldn't be humming if he had remembered. He'd never hear the end of it. 

"Johnny!"

He was agonising over the layout of some editorial piece he was going for a local art show that was coming up. Maybe if he kerned that letter n just one pixel to the right...

"Johnny!"

He flinched as a rolled up piece of paper hit his computer screen from across the room. What the fuck?

"What do you want?" He sighed, swivelling in his chair to turn his to his partner, who was dramatically draped across his own desk. 

"Doughnuts."

"So, go get some."

"I'm pregnant! Get them for me."

Johnny sighed again. This was all he had heard for the past couple of weeks since Ten had found out. 

The younger had been absolutely devastated at first. Johnny had driven him to the doctors after he threw up in the plant pot of a bonsai tree in the corner of the print shop they were regulars at. Were being the operative word. He wasn't sure they could step foot in there again. Goodbye discount rates. 

Johnny had teased him all day for being hungover, pointing out how he couldn't handle the wild nights of tequila and slutdropping like back in their university days. 

But that wasn't the problem at all. Ten was pregnant, and that was the end of the world in his eyes. 

"I _cannot_ be pregnant."

"Well, you are, Ten."

"No. Not possible. They must have made a mistake." Ten jumped up off of the bench the two of them were sat on outside of the doctor’s surgery. He took Johnny’s wrist, trying to drag him back inside. "I'm not even sure that woman was a licensed doctor. I want a second opinion."

"That was your second opinion. You didn't believe the first doctor, remember?"

Ten came to a halt, his grip on Johnny’s arm loosening. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening to _him. _He had the implant. That was meant to stop this. It was meant to prevent something like this totally ruining his life and now-

He was never meant to get pregnant. He didn't want something living inside of him for nine months. That was weird, right? He wouldn't be able to drink or smoke or eat sushi or, oh god- He couldn't have a bagel with cream cheese for his breakfast. What was even the point in living? 

And how was he meant to work? He couldn't heave big acrylic letters around or use spray paint or varnish or drills. That was his favourite type of design. He much preferred physically making stuff than messing around on InDesign. He couldn't do...anything. Not with this parasite inside of him. 

His life was going to come to a complete halt for nine whole months. 

But it wouldn't end there. His life was going to have to change drastically for the next...eighteen years. At least. He was going to be forty-three before he'd get his life back. 

He couldn't do this. He wasn't going to do this. 

"I need to get rid of it."

"Wh- Ten, come on, at least think about it."

"I have. Just now." Ten turned on his heel so he was facing Johnny. His best friend. The guy he went through four gruelling years of a graphic design degree with. His business partner. Neither of them wanted to work for some big company that would dampen their creativity, so they branched out on their own. Things were finally beginning to take off and now he was going to ruin everything. He couldn't do that to Johnny. "I can't have wine or Brie or that one cigarette I like to have after lunch because it helps me relax and-"

Ten was welling up. He was already the pregnant emotional mess. Great. 

"Johnny, I'm not going to be able to do my job."

"You will! Of course you will." Graphic design wasn’t exactly the most active of jobs. Ten would be totally fine. "Nothing has to change. You can still design and meet with clients and do all that fun paperwork you love so much-" 

Ten scoffed. "All the boring shit?"

"No! No, you can still make all the big decisions. Colour schemes and paper finishes and all those mood boards you love agonising over for hours." Ten laughed bitterly, wiping his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Stupid Johnny, always making him laugh. "We're still gonna do everything as a team, okay? Just now you get to order me around while I do all of the heaving lifting."

Ten let the corners of his lips curl up into a smile. Now _that _he liked the sound of. 

"So, like, I'll be the boss?"

Johnny rolled his eyes. "For about eight months, yeah, I guess I'll let you."

Ten beamed, wiping the last few tears that clung to his lashes away. Johnny had this amazing, if not slightly annoying ability to make him feel better, no matter what. Whether he had just been dumped or after that time he fractured his ribs or when he thought he was going to fail his entire degree because his dissertation lecturer tried to seduce him and he refused to go through with it. And now this. If the idea of sleeping with his best friend of all time didn't completely knock him sick he would swear Johnny could be the perfect boyfriend. 

Fuck. 

_Boyfriend_. 

"How am I going to tell Kun?"

He and Kun hadn't even been together that long, Ten wasn't even sure Kun knew his full name. And now they were having a baby together? Oh god he felt sick. Where was the nearest bonsai tree?

"I- I dunno, just be honest with him."

"But I haven't even made my mind up yet. What if he doesn't want it? What if he does and I decide I don't? What if he leaves me? Johnny I can't do this on my own I don't even know if I want to be a dad, I-"

Johnny pulled Ten into his chest, hoping it would calm the younger down, maybe shut him up because he wasn't really sure what he could say to make things better. This was something Kun and Ten had to discuss in private. 

"It's gonna be fine, you know that I'm gonna be here for you no matter what."

That was almost two weeks ago, and Ten’s entire view on the situation had done a 180 flip. He was still a little freaked out, but Kun was so happy when Ten told him he couldn't help but get wrapped up in the whole thing. They were going to have a baby. A real life baby that was half of each of them and it was going to be this beautiful magical thing and Ten couldn't stop smiling every time he thought about it. 

He had never imagined himself to be like this; maternal or whatever. He had never really had any interest in having a family. Sure, it had always been one of those 'eventually it'll happen' kind of things, not something he was desperate to make reality. 

But now it was happening. 

He was having a baby. 

And that made him want doughnuts. 

"You still have legs, don't you?"

Ten whined, pushing a pile of papers off of his desk as he flailed, even more dramatically than before. 

"I'm not meant to over-exert myself."

"You're seven weeks gone, you don't even have a bump, I'm sure you can make it across the road to Krispy Kreme."

"Ew no, I want the good doughnuts from that place on Shaftesbury Avenue with all the funny names. They have a new one called the Caramacklemore."

Johnny rolled his eyes. Trust Ten to pick the most awkward to get to doughnut place. 

"That's so far away. Can't you Uber Eats it?"

"No, you're gonna have to go get me one!"

"Ten, I'm not trailing all the way to Covent Garden to get you a single doughnut."

"Then get me a whole box, I won't mind."

"Not happening."

"But, my cravings!"

"Not. Happening."

Ten pouted to himself. Johnny was so mean. That was him being struck off of the potential godfather list... Who was he kidding he didn't have any other real friends and there was no way he was giving Taeyong the satisfaction. He had already been fawning over Ten like he was fibreglass Russian nesting doll ready to break at any second and it was starting to do his head in. Then again, Taeyong might get him a doughnut... it would probably be vegan or gluten free or some shit, but it would still be a doughnut. 

Nah. Johnny was still his best bet. 

"Doughnut Time?"

"Huh?"

"The place you're talking about, is it called Doughnut Time?"

"Yeah, why?" 

"There's one like three streets from here."

"Really?" Ten perked up a little. Had Johnny changed his mind? Was he actually going to get Ten a doughnut? God, he could marry him. "Oh my god you're the best I love you so much I-"

"Get your jacket, let’s go."

"What? I...I have to come with you?"

"Yeah, you could do with the fresh air. Up."

The two of them wandered the streets of Shoreditch looking for the elusive doughnut shop. This was definitely one of the biggest pros of being your own boss; taking your break whenever you wanted. No one to tell you to get back to work. It was just him and Ten against the world. Johnny absolutely loved that. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Course. What's up?" Johnny took a sip of his iced Americano as Ten picked at his doughnut. The Caramacklemore just wasn't doing it for him. He wished he gone for the Snicki Minaj instead. 

"Have you and Jaehyun talked about having kids? Just...I always thought you guys would be next. Definitely before me."

Johnny chewed on the tip of his straw, instantly regretting that decision as it turned to mush in his mouth. He was all for saving the turtles and that, but these paper straws were an absolute nightmare. He'd have to invest in one of those reusable metal ones. 

"We have, just...not yet." 

He and Jaehyun had been together for what felt like forever. Six years, in fact. They met in Jaehyun’s first year of university, in the ICT department. That was where the two of them seemed to spend most of their time, after all. 

Jaehyun was an Interaction Design student. Johnny had absolutely no idea what that meant at the time, but it looked stressful considering Jaehyun was practically tearing his hair out over what looked like a web page. 

Johnny had been a little enamoured with him from the get go. Jaehyun was kind of quiet, to start with. He didn't like to start conversations, but after a while, once he had warmed up to the company he was with he would more than happily join in. Johnny would do just about anything in his power to get Jaehyun to smile back then. To get a glimpse of those dimples. To make him happy, even for a split second as the blonde struggled to stay afloat in the sea of coursework and essays he seemed to be drowning in. 

Jaehyun had been hesitant to go out with Johnny at first. He already had enough on his plate with his degree and learning code and the part time job he needed to help pay his rent. Could he really add a boyfriend to all of that? He barely had time to eat lunch some days. 

But Johnny made him see that he had more than enough time, because he needed to cut loose a little sometimes. Johnny helped him organise his time better, helped him see that he couldn't just work none-stop without any time for himself or he was going to burn out. And quick. He had only just started his second semester and he was already stretching himself thin. He had to slow down or he wouldn't even make it to the end of the year. 

That's where Johnny came in. He'd drag Jaehyun away from his laptop, force him to go outside to and breathe non-recycled air. He'd open Jaehyun’s eyes to a world outside of the rigid confines of web publishing and app design. He'd kiss him so hard in the middle of the street Jaehyun would forget all about HTML and CSS. His mind would be filled with...nothing. Nothing but Johnny. 

The two of them had been inseparable ever since. Moving in together only a few months later when Jaehyun went into his second year, Johnny into his final. They had battled through missed rent payments, numerous arguments with landlords after that one time their boiler broke down in the height of winter, Jaehyun’s near fatal car accident after a drunk driver crashed into him on the way home from work one night. They had been through it all. And they had so much more planned together. 

One of those things was kids. Definitely. One day. 

Just not yet. Johnny wanted to do things this traditional way. He wanted to propose, have a gorgeous but low-key wedding by the sea somewhere and then think about starting a family. He wanted to make sure they were financially secure first, and they weren't quite there yet. 

"Maybe in like...two or three years."

Johnny didn't miss the slight pout on Ten’s lips as he pushed the remainder of his doughnut to one side. He didn't really want it after all. 

"I _really_ wanted you to have kids first. I don't feel like I'm ready. I was meant to be the fun auntie that gets drunk at parties you know?"

"I doubt anyone feels fully ready."

"Have you met the Lee's?" Ten scoffed. 

Johnny laughed to himself. Okay, Ten had a point there. But Taeil and Taeyong Lee were definitely one of a kind. Thank god. Johnny wasn't sure he could cope with another Taeyong. He had suffered enough during his first couple of years of university when the younger was his roommate. 

Taeyong gave birth to their first son Mark almost a year ago, and he worked up until his contractions were less than 10 minutes apart. Taeyong was a machine, Johnny was pretty sure he could handle just about anything that was thrown at him. But he wasn't normal. Not by any means. Being freaked out and a little frightened was normal. 

"I've told you, you're going to be fine."

"I know, Kun keeps saying the same thing, I just... I dunno it feels weird. Wish I had a pregnant friend or something." Ten placed his head in his hands, eyelashes fluttering as he looked up at his best friend. "Wish you were pregnant with me."

_"Don't _even go there." Johnny started. He wasn't being guilt tripped into having a baby. No fucking chance. 

"We would have _so _much fun, though! Going to yoga together, getting pedicures after buying a tonne of tiny clothes, eating pickles dipped in peanut butter while 'the men' (Ten included a set of air quotes when he said that, because, you know, feminism) run around after us. It'd be the best!"

"We can do that anyway. I mean...I'm not that flexible so maybe not yoga. And pedicures? Not really my scene... And there's no way a pickle is going near these lips, but... We can still do fun things together. Right?"

Ten sighed, resting his head against the wall. Johnny didn't get it. It wasn't the same. Everyone else could go out and do normal adult things without having to think twice. Soon he'd just be a big old blimp that no one would want to hang out with because no doubt all he'd do was complain about how his back hurt or stretch marks or how badly his nipples were chaffing and no one wanted to be around that. 

He was going to be so alone. 

"I guess."

"Like the weekend? It's Mark’s first birthday."

Ten groaned. He had forgotten all about that, the birthday of the second coming of Jesus Christ himself; Mark Lee. He couldn't think of anything worse than a whole day of Taeyong and Taeil parading their weird kid around. He knew he probably wasn't meant to think that - because all babies were beautiful or whatever - but Mark was _fucking weird_. Taeyong acted like he was the next messiah or something but he just sat there and stared, barely even blinking. It freaked Ten out. God, he hoped his kid wouldn't be like Mark; then again, his kid wouldn't be part cyborg, not having Taeyong as a parent and all. 

"I'm not going to be able to make it. I have morning sickness scheduled for the whole day."

"You _cannot_ make me go alone."

"You'll have Jaehyun." 

"Ten!" Johnny whined. It was his turn to be dramatic. He couldn't cope an entire day without his partner in crime. Jaehyun was genuinely so excited for Mark's first birthday and Johnny was honestly starting to worry that his boyfriend had been spending too much time with the Lee's. The other night he made dauphinoise potatoes for dinner instead of the chips they would usually have and it totally freaked Johnny out. He'd had quite enough of Taeyong in university and he wasn't sure he could cope with the love of his life turning into him. He needed Ten there at the party to help keep Jaehyun sane by...maybe helping get him drunk or something. "Please?"

"Wasn’t his birthday like last month?" Ten helped himself to a swig of Johnny’s drink, making sure to avoid the chewed up mess of a straw that was stuck in it. It was the middle of September. He was pretty sure Mark was born in August because he specifically remembered this amazing house party he'd had planned being ruined by the new arrival. 

"Yeah, but they took him to Disneyworld. You can't tell me you haven't seen the pictures."

Ten gaped. They took a one year old to Disneyworld? In Florida? As if he was ever going to remember that. The Lee's really were something else. There was a reason he had Taeyong muted on Instagram - and that was it. 

"Who even has a birthday party for a one year old?" Ten dragged his plate back over, changing his mind about the Caramacklemore and going in for round two. "Who does Taeyong think he is anyway, Kylie fucking Jenner?"

Johnny shrugged. He didn't really get it himself, but he knew it was just a big photo opportunity, really. A chance for Taeil and Taeyong to show off how amazing their little family was. How pretty their house was. How big their back garden was. Good for them, he guessed. They both worked hard and they were genuinely happy together. He didn't really see the problem with flaunting that. 

Plus, it was good for business if you were in the photography field, which Ten’s boyfriend was. 

"Isn't Kun, like, filming the whole thing? You'll have to be there anyway." 

Ten rolled his eyes. He had practically begged Kun not to take that job. Taeyong's ego _did not _need stroking anymore. But he insisted. 'For the baby! We need to save up!'

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll be there. But I'm not going to enjoy myself."

Johnny laughed under his breath. A typical Ten response. He was only expecting his best friend to grow even more sarcastic and bitchy throughout the course of his pregnancy, if that was even possible. 

"Good. We can be miserable together."

༓࿇༓

"How was work?"

"It was fine." Johnny shrugged. "Didn't get a whole lot done what with Ten’s constant whining."

Jaehyun laughed softly to himself through a mouthful of pizza. He thanked god he wasn't the one that had to work with a pregnant Ten. Regular Ten was enough to handle, he had no idea how Johnny coped with all those extra hormones. 

"How about you?"

"It was fine, too." Jaehyun shrugged back. "Started a new project, some new photo editing app they reckon is gonna be the next big thing. They brought in these little cupcakes though, so that was nice."

"And you didn't even bring me one home?" Johnny rested his chin on Jaehyun’s shoulder, mustering up the best pout he could. 

"I thought you were trying to be healthy."

"We...might have gone for doughnuts today."

"And _you_ didn't get_ me _one?"

"They were expensive." 

"I see how it is." Jaehyun shook his head softly. "Ten's got a bun in the oven so he's more important than your own boyfriend."

"Not more important, just...it's easier to keep him happy. You're less of a monster when I'm in your bad books."

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes, head cocked to the side. "Not sure how to take that, babe."

It wasn't long before the two of them found themselves curled up on the sofa, plates discarded on the floor (they could deal with that tomorrow), Johnny’s head on Jaehyun’s chest, half asleep on top of the younger as Jaehyun made tiny plaits in Johnny’s dark hair. Tiny plaits that were always a nightmare to get out, but Johnny let him anyway. It was kind of relaxing. For now, at least. 

"Ten wants us to have a baby."

"What?" Jaehyun snorted. He honestly thought Johnny had fallen asleep on him, the elder hadn't said anything for a good half hour. 

"He doesn't want to be pregnant on his own, so he thinks we should have a kid."

"Seems like solid reasoning to bring a child into the world."

"I've heard of worse reasons."

"You're...you're not thinking about it, are you?"

Johnny could hear Jaehyun’s heartrate increase through his thin t-shirt. 

"No! I mean...Not yet, anyway." Johnny sat up slightly, twisting so he was looking up at his boyfriend. "I want that...with you, but..."

Jaehyun let out a sigh of relief. Oh thank god. He genuinely thought Johnny wanted to start trying. Like, now. He wasn't ready. Neither of them were. 

"One day. But not now. In the very distant future."

"Exactly." Johnny broke into a wide smile. He loved how in tune he and Jaehyun were. How they knew exactly what the other wanted. "I want a family with you, just...later."

"Yeah, me too." Jaehyun let himself relax a little, he hadn't even realised all of his muscles had tensed up at once until his shoulders began to slump. 

He would love to have a family with Johnny, some day, when they were both a little more financially stable. They wanted to focus on their careers first, and on themselves. They absolutely loved their current life. They loved travelling and staying up late and going out with their friends. They didn't want that to end. Not just yet. 

Plus, their apartment was tiny. It only had one bedroom and the lift had a habit of cutting out. Imagine trying to carry a pushchair up seven flights of stairs? No thank you. He wanted to raise their future child somewhere else, but at the same time he loved their tiny little apartment. They'd lived here together so long they'd made it into a proper home. 

Jaehyun didn't want their life to change. Not just yet, anyway. He loved that it was just him and Johnny. 

He sighed to himself as Johnny settled back down on his chest, tuning back into the movie that was playing away on the TV. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, pressing a soft kiss to Johnny’s hair. 

"We have plenty of time for all of that."

༓࿇༓

Mark's first birthday party came around fast. Too fast for Johnny’s liking. After convincing Ten to come along, now he was the one that wanted to bail, but he knew he couldn't. This just wasn't exactly how he wanted to spend his Sunday afternoon, especially not when it was his only day off because he'd been stuck in the office trying to remember how to use some Adobe programme he hadn't used since graduating after a client decided last minute that he wanted the logo on his website to be animated. 

"Jaehyun, you ready?" Johnny put the finishing touches to Mark’s birthday present, fashioning the excess ribbon into tight curls with a pair of scissors. He had been tempted to fill the gift bag with a tonne of confetti so it would go everywhere when he opened it, causing Taeyong to have a small breakdown over his carpets being covered in glitter, but he refrained. 

He hummed to himself as he got no response from his boyfriend. Weird. Jaehyun actually _wanted _to go to this party. 

"Babe?" Johnny made his way to their bedroom, maybe Jaehyun just couldn't decide which sunglasses he wanted to take or something. He had an extensive collection for some reason. But he wasn't there. Super weird. 

"Johnny?" A weak voice called from the bathroom. He followed it, fearing the worst. He hoped Jaehyun hadn't fallen in the shower or anything. It wouldn't be the first time. 

But no, he was hunched over the toilet bowl instead. 

"You okay?" Johnny was by Jaehyun’s side in an instant, rubbing soothing circles between the younger's shoulder blades. 

"I feel like complete shit. I've been sick like three times." Jaehyun groaned, cheek resting on the seat of the toilet. Johnny twisted his nose, deciding not to comment on how disgustingly unhygienic that was. 

"You're kind of hot." Johnny mused, pressing the back of his hand to Jaehyun’s forehead. He must be coming down with some kind of bug, which was weird because Jaehyun never got sick. He always had some kind of antioxidant filled smoothie in hand. "You should probably stay home."

Jaehyun groaned again. He didn't want to. He had been looking forward to this. Taeil and Taeyong threw the best parties. 

"I'll be fine." Jaehyun tried to sit up, blinking a couple of times as his head spun. Okay, maybe not. Oh god. He shouldn't have done that, he was gonna-

Johnny looked away as Jaehyun dived back into the toilet bowl, rubbing his boyfriends back, helping him get it all up as he suppressed the urge to vomit himself. Nothing made him gag more. 

"You're staying here, Jae. Let's get you into bed."

Johnny made sure Jaehyun was comfortable, all tucked up in bed, plenty of water on the bedside table, paracetamol if he needed any later on and an empty basin dish for if he needed to throw up without having to trail all the way to the bathroom. 

"Do you want me to stay here and look after you?" Johnny carded his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair, he looked so sorry for himself. Jaehyun absolutely hated being sick. 

"No. You're not getting out of going that easily."

"Wh- I'm just worried about my boyfriend." Johnny pouted. "What if something happens while I'm away?"

"I'm twenty-four, I can look after myself." Jaehyun turned, nuzzling into the pillow. He just needed some sleep. He'd probably eaten something that was a few days out of date at work or whatever. It probably wasn't a big deal. He wasn't worried. "Now go, you're gonna be late."

Johnny sighed to himself, pressing a soft kiss to Jaehyun’s burning forehead. "I'll let Taeyong know you're not gonna be able to make it."

This was going to be absolutely hell without Jaehyun. 

༓࿇༓

"He's doing it again." Ten narrowed his eyes at the strawberry covered one-year-old in Johnny’s arms. He and Mark had been in a staring contest for a good few minutes now, and it was starting to freak him out. 

"Maybe he's staring at you because you're staring at him." Johnny suggested, bouncing Mark on his lap in an attempt to get him to look away from Ten and concentrate on the almost melted bowl of ice cream Johnny was currently trying to feed him. 

"I can't look away." Ten narrowed his eyes a little more. Maybe Mark was cursed or something. "I don't trust him."

"Don't talk about my godson like that." Johnny pressed a kiss to the crown of Mark’s head, making the toddler giggle, finally pulling his attention away from Ten. "He's adorable."

Ten shuffled in his seat, crossing his legs the other way as one of them started to go numb, readjusting his dress so as not to show off too much leg in Taeyong's good suburban neighbourhood. He'd already been told off for not dressing like a _normal boy_.

Mark was _kind of _cute, he guessed. But his baby was going to be way cuter. It was half him, after all. 

"You better love mine this much."

"Of course I will!" Johnny giggled as Mark tried to stand up in his lap, sticky fingers gripping to Johnny’s t-shirt. Just as well he didn't bother wearing anything new. "Uncle Johnny is gonna love all his babies!"

Ten scoffed. Johnny was so gross sometimes. He'd make a really good dad one day, though, that he was sure of. Probably better than Ten would himself. 

"There you are!" Johnny flinched as Taeyong appeared behind him. That had always been a speciality of his - creeping around. Back when they lived together as students Taeyong would _always, _without fail, manage to sneak up on Johnny when he was about to put something in the already full bin instead of taking it out and replacing it with a new one or when he was about to douse whatever culinary masterpiece Taeyong has just made with ketchup. 

He went to scoop Mark up, there were people from where he worked that had just turned up and he wanted to show off. But...

"Why's he all sticky?"

"We had ice cream, didn't we Markie?"

Mark giggled, clapping his sticky little mitts together as he beamed up at his father, who looked absolutely horrified. 

"Was it lactose free?"

"I dunno, it's your house." Johnny shrugged. If Taeyong didn't want Mark to have dairy then why was he serving it? That didn't even make sense. 

"Don't babies drink, like...milk?" Ten questioned, twisting his nose. It didn't surprise him at all that Taeyong was one of _those _parents. Poor Mark. Maybe that's why he was so weird; his Dad probably wouldn't let him have sugar. 

"Oh, you have so much to learn." Taeyong sighed, looking Ten up and down exasperatedly. "Come on, pumpkin; let's go get you cleaned up." Taeyong took his son from Johnny, craning his neck as Mark tried to wrap his little sticky arms around his father's neck. He was already going to have to change the one-year old; he didn't have time to change his own outfit too. "Kun, I'll be back soon then we can get the pictures with the cake, okay?"

"Sure whatever." Kun settled down next to Ten, his palm automatically finding its way to Ten’s stomach. Johnny was genuinely surprised the younger didn't swat him away. "You were right. He's a monster."

"I told you!"

"Promise me we'll never be that overbearing." Kun had been following Taeil and Taeyong around all day, documenting their pride and joys first birthday. It was a cute idea, but...the staged photographs were getting a little much for Kun's liking. But, Taeyong _did _have an Instagram reputation to uphold. "If our kid wants to roll around in the garden and get grass stains all over his pants, he's doing it."

Ten laughed to himself, his hand resting on top of Kun’s. He barely even had a bump yet, but he kind of liked how protective Kun was of his belly. 

"He? Who said it's a boy?"

Kun shrugged, tucking Ten's hair behind his ears. He looked so cute with extensions in but he always liked seeing his piercings too. 

He had no idea what they were having; it was just a passing comment with Mark being a boy and everything. He didn't really care either way, the gender of their baby didn't matter to him, as long as he or she was healthy, then he was happy. Maybe they'd be non-binary like his boyfriend was. Who knew?

"Are you going to find out?"

"Oh god, yeah." That was something Ten was insistent about. He wanted to know. He wasn't ready for any more surprises. The very fact he was pregnant was a big enough shock. He wanted to know what was coming next. He wanted to prepare himself, well in advance. "I can't wait that long to find out. Way too impatient."

"We have our next scan in a couple of months; we get to find out then."

"If it’s a boy you should call him Johnny."

Kun and Ten shot him the exact same look of disgust. When the two of them first got together Johnny thought they were the weirdest couple - polar opposites. Ten was loud and a little bitchy at times and loved being the centre of attention, while Kun was more reserved and level headed. But he was beginning to realise how utterly perfect for one another they were. He didn't know if it was the baby bringing them closer together and helping them balance each other out, but they seemed like a pretty well-oiled unit. 

"That's an old man name. Our baby is going to be called something adorable." Johnny feigned a look of hurt. Mainly because that sounded like something Ten would say, not Kun. He had thought maybe the photographer was going to have a positive influence on his best friend, but he should have known it would be the other way around. Ten had a habit of corrupting people. 

"Yeah, like Ariana if she's a girl."

"Or...not."

Johnny let the two of them bicker quietly between themselves, letting himself get absorbed in his phone instead. Jaehyun hadn't texted him back when Johnny asked if he was doing okay and he was starting to worry. He knew his boyfriend was probably just sleeping, but...

"Go home."

Johnny looked up from his phone; Ten and Kun were looking at him, concern in their eyes. 

"They'll understand if you want to go check he's okay."

"He will be, I'm just being stupid."

"Johnny." Ten leaned in across the table. "You have an excuse to leave before the grand present opening ceremony. Do you really want to stick around and see the disappointment in Taeyong's eyes when he opens your gift? You know he can't hide it no matter how hard he tries."

"Hey! We got Mark something really nice! It's like this cute little dinosaur raincoat and the hood has spikes on it and it's got a little tail and-" Johnny faltered as both Kun and Ten blinked back at him. "You're right he's gonna hate it."

Johnny punched in Taeyong's address to Uber, hoping to make as quick of an exit as possible. Maybe he could pick Jaehyun up some soup or something on the way home. 

"I should go."

༓࿇༓

Johnny clicked the front door behind him as quietly as possible. He wasn't even sure whether Jaehyun was asleep or not, but he sincerely hoped so since the younger hadn't replied to any of his messages. He hoped to god something worse hadn't happened. 

He peeked his head into their bedroom, smiling sadly to himself as he saw his boyfriend curled into the tiniest little ball on his side of the bed. God, he looked so pale. Poor thing. 

He wasn't sure whether he should wake him up or not. Jaehyun needed his rest, but he also probably needed some more medicine and a drink of water to keep him hydrated. He decided to go wash up in the bathroom before waking Jaehyun up, that was he could just slide into bed with him and cuddle the blonde til his heart was content after he'd taken a couple of tablets. 

But...his quest to freshen up was brought to an abrupt halt as he came across two white sticks perched on the edge of the sink. Were...Were those pregnancy tests? 

Johnny’s heart leapt into his throat. Oh god. Was Jaehyun pregnant? Is that why he was being sick this morning? But...how? They always used protection...almost always. Okay so, sometimes they'd get carried away, but Johnny had perfected his pulling out technique. He knew Jaehyun couldn't take birth control pills because they messed with his emotions too much so...they always did _something_. This wasn't meant to happen. Not yet. They weren't ready. They'd _literally _just talked about this theother day and-

"Johnny?" 

He froze as a weak voice called his name from next door. Fuck. What the fuck was he meant to say? Were they having _a baby? _Could they afford a baby? He felt like they could barely even look after themselves sometimes. They had spaghetti hoops on toast for dinner last night for God's sake. And not just any spaghetti hoops, ones that had reheated from the night before. They weren't real adults. 

"Are you home?"

"Y-Yeah, coming babe!"

Oh god. He couldn't just ignore Jaehyun; he had to go see him. He had to face this. 

His boyfriend was pregnant. He was going to be a father. Maybe... Would Jaehyun even want to keep it? This wasn't part of their plan. They wanted a new place. Johnny wanted for his and Ten’s company to expand a little. They wanted to be married. 

He had no idea whether Jaehyun would even want to go through with this. But he did know, that either way, he had to be there for him. 

"Hi, Jae."

"What are you doing back so early?" Jaehyun’s voice was a little gravelly, maybe his throat was beginning to hurt now too. 

"I wanted to check you were doing okay. I texted you but you must have been asleep." Johnny frowned as Jaehyun hummed. Asleep...or ignoring him because he was scared to tell him the truth. He wondered if Jaehyun had left the tests in the bathroom on purpose so he didn't have to say it aloud. That seemed like something he would do. He wasn't great at talking. 

"I'm fine, you should have stayed."

"Are you sure?" Johnny sat down on the edge of their bed, fingers stroking though Jaehyun’s hair like they had before he felt, only this time his fringe was a lot damper. 

"Yeah, I think I just need to stay in bed. I've been drinking plenty of water, don't worry. And I haven't thrown up since you left."

"That's good." Johnny whispered. Was Jaehyun actually planning on telling him? Or...was he just going to pretend this wasn't happening? He hoped to god Jaehyun wouldn't go off and deal with this on his own. He would back him all the way, no matter what his decision was, it was Jaehyun’s body, after all. But he really hoped that Jaehyun at least trusted him enough to open up about it first. 

"But since you're here...you can get in and cuddle me. I'm cold."

"You're burning up."

"I know, I'm all gross and sweaty but I'm still freezing." Jaehyun whined into the pillow as Johnny took way too long getting undressed and slipping in behind him. 

"You're not gross." Johnny pressed a kiss to Jaehyun’s shoulder. "You're gorgeous."

Jaehyun scoffed. What was Johnny playing at? Acting all slick. "You do realise you aren't getting any tonight, right?"

"I know! I just...wanted you to know."

Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed a little as Johnny’s hand splayed out across his stomach. Weird. 

"Are you sure there's nothing else you want to talk about?"

"How was the party?" 

"Wh- No, that's not what I meant."

"Then what? I've literally been lying here half dead since you left and-" Oh. No, he hadn't been. He...He _had _left the house to pick up a couple of pregnancy tests, but... He threw them away, right? Johnny wouldn’t know about that. 

"What about the tests in the bathroom? Where did you get them?"

Fuck. 

Jaehyun sighed, burying his face in his pillow. Maybe he hadn't thrown them away after all. Nice one, Jung. 

"Look, I was just freaking out because I know Taeyong got sick like this when he was first pregnant and...I just wanted to make sure."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have come straight home."

"Why? What would have been the point in that? I don't need you to hold my hand while I pee."

"So I could have been here for you. I know this isn't what we planned, but...Jae, I'm in this with you no matter what you choose to d-"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you're pregnant. I know you didn't really want this yet but-"

"Did you actually look at the tests, Johnny?" Jaehyun rolled over with a huff so he could face his boyfriend. "They're negative. I'm not pregnant."

All colour drained from Johnny’s face. He- Had he really not looked at the tests? Had he just assumed that Jaehyun was pregnant...? Oh god, he had. How fucking embarrassing. 

But...this was good, right? They didn't have to worry about anything baby-related. They could carry on living their best lives (or, as close to best as they could get on their wages). They didn't have to move or think about sleepless nights or a screaming kid throwing up all over them. Not yet, anyway. Not for a long, long time. 

"Oh! Oh thank god."

Jaehyun laughed softly as Johnny visibly deflated, body sinking into the mattress. He had wondered why the elder felt so tense and rigid behind him. 

"That was my reaction too." Jaehyun nuzzled into Johnny’s chest. "But...thank you for what you said. That you'd be behind me no matter what, because if I was knocked up, right now, I honestly don't know what I'd want to do." 

Johnny held Jaehyun closer. He knew exactly where his boyfriend was coming from. Having a baby was a huge, terrifying step he wasn’t sure either of them were ready for yet. He would never hold it against Jaehyun if he decided to get an abortion. If it wasn't the right time, then it wasn't the right time. 

"Well, at least now you don't have to even think about it." It was a decision they didn't have to dwell on because it's was purely hypothetical. They weren't pregnant and that was that. No use fretting over something that didn't even matter. "Go back to sleep, you need to rest."

Jaehyun sighed blissfully to himself as he melted into Johnny’s hold. He loved his life. Absolutely loved it. Sure, he hated being sick but that was just going to be temporary, and his job could be awful at times, but what job wasn't? He was doing something he was passionate about, something he had spent years studying and most days he thoroughly enjoyed it. 

He loved his home life too. He knew their apartment wasn't amazing, but it was theirs and it was where he felt happiest because that's where Johnny was. The person he loved more than anything. The man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 

He was just...so happy. So, _so _happy. 

Then, why did he feel kind of...empty? Why was his hand resting on his stomach right now? He never slept like that. Why couldn't he get the word negative out of his head? This was a good thing. They weren't ready. _He _definitely wasn't ready. 

But part of him couldn't help but wonder 'what if?' 

He shook his head against Johnny’s chest. He needed to stop being so ridiculous. The reality was they couldn't cope with a baby right now and that was that. They had plenty of time to think about that in the future because they were going to be together forever. 

"I love you Johnny." Jaehyun screwed his eyes shut, hoping it would somehow help clear his head and help him drift off to sleep. He didn't feel well, why was he forcing himself to stay awake over something so stupid? 

He let himself relax as Johnny pressed a kiss to his forehead, settling himself down to go to sleep too, despite the fact it wasn't even dark outside. 

"I love you too, Jae."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!!


	2. chocolate buttons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man I love all these characters so much I couldnt resist posting another chapter already!!! Also, I gift u some smut 💖  
Pls enjoy!!!

"Okay, open up."

Kun cracked his eyes open, jaw dropping as they settled on his boyfriend. Ten was leaning up against their bedroom door in a floaty black babydoll, one with a slit up the front so his stomach had a little room to breathe, and a tiny pair of lace panties to match. 

"Wow."

Ten giggled to himself, crossing the room painfully slowly so Kun could drink in the view. "I thought I'd make the most of being able to dress up before I get all fat and ugly."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're always going to be crazy hot."

"You're still gonna want to fuck me when I'm ready to pop?" Ten asked, swinging his leg over Kun's waist so he could straddle the elder’s hips. 

"Probably. Sex is meant to help with labour, right?"

Ten giggled again. That was so very them. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if he and Kun were in a compromising position when his water broke or something. 

"How come everything you say gets me so ridiculously turned on lately?"

"Cause you're pregnant and hormonal." Kun mused, running his hands up Ten’s thighs, making the younger moan lowly. "And I'm sexy as hell."

Ten leaned in to kiss his boyfriend. He couldn't deny that. Not only was Kun the most loving person he'd ever met, he was probably the best fuck too. Of all the people that had gotten him knocked up, he probably couldn't ask for anyone better than Kun. 

"I'm so fucking hard." Ten breathed out against Kun’s lips, grinding his hips down. "What are you going to do about it?"

Ten whimpered as Kun hooked his hands under Ten's thighs, carefully lifting him up and settling him down on his back, the elder looming over him. Gone were the days of throwing Ten around like a cheap sex doll, he had to be a little more gentle - for now, at least. He was sure having a baby wouldn't dampen their sex lives in the future, not if he knew Ten as well as he thought he did, anyway. 

But for now he was happy to hold back, to treat Ten like a delicate china doll because the last thing he wanted was to hurt him. 

"You're absolutely gorgeous." Kun smiled to himself as he took in the sight of Ten laid out on the bed; long dark hair, ever so loosely curled fanned out around him, waves of chiffon cascading across his swollen stomach, a prominent bulge in his panties. The way he got butterflies every time he looked at Ten - no matter what he was wearing. Be it a kinky little leather number and five inch stilettos, a baggy t-shirt and loose pair of sweatpants, a fitted button up shirt and blazer on top or a floaty floral dress with his extensions scraped up into a messy bun. Ten always blew his mind. "I love you so much."

Ten whimpered as Kun’s fingers danced against his thighs, just centimetres away from his dick. He had been extra sensitive recently, his libido through the roof now he was finally getting over all of the morning sickness and headaches. All he wanted was to be fucked. 

"Daddy-" he whined, hips lifting off the bed, desperate for more. "Don't tease me."

"You might not be able to call me that much longer, baby."

"Why not?"

"Won't it be weird?"

"I thought you wanted to be Baba."

"I do, don't you want the baby to call you Daddy?"

"Oh god no." Ten scoffed. The very idea of that was just ridiculous. "I want to be Mama, I feel like it suits me better."

"Mama." Kun mused, plying with the frills of Ten's babydoll. That was pretty fitting to be fair, despite identifying with both genders; Ten seemed to be presenting more feminine lately. He looked gorgeous either way, but Kun couldn't deny how much he loved Ten in a dress and red lipstick. "I like it. Sounds cute."

"And that way you get to keep being my Daddy." Ten bit down on his bottom lip, finger hooking in Kun’s collar as he pulled him into a kiss. "And as my Daddy, it's your job to make me happy. And come."

Kun chuckled as Ten patted him on the cheek before pushing his head down towards his cock, still as demanding as ever. 

"So get to work."

༓࿇༓

"Come on, sweetie, please stop wriggling." Taeyong sighed, trying his hardest to get Mark back into a pair of pants after changing his diaper. "Whatever. Be naked. I don't care."

Taeyong scooped Mark up in his arms, cuddling the one-year-old close to his chest. He had been extra fussy today and he couldn't quite work out why. Maybe he was missing his Appa. 

Taeil had been away with work for a few days now and Taeyong was seriously beginning to feel his absence. He liked to act like he had everything under control and that he could totally raise a kid single handily like some kind of super-mom, but...holy shit was it hard. Mark needed constant attention. Like _constant. _

At least...that's what Taeyong thought. 

Okay, so maybe he was the clingy one, not his son. But that made getting anything else done incredibly difficult. He couldn't just leave Mark to play with his toys on the floor while he got some housework done because what if something happened? What if he swallowed something he shouldn't or hurt himself? Taeyong couldn't cope with that. He'd never be able to forgive himself. 

So, the past few days had been tougher than he had expected them to be. Neither he nor Taeil had been away from Mark for more than a day, and he was beginning to worry it would be years before that could happen. 

It was easier when Mark was younger, when he just slept and babbled all day. But now he was trying to walk and he could say a few words it totally freaked Taeyong out. Not that he would ever show it. God forbid any of the parents at Mark's play group thought he was anything but perfect. It was like they could smell the fear, so he'd go in there with a smug grin on his face as he bragged about how Mark was sleeping through the night and absolutely loved cauliflower thanks to his homemade curry which he'd adapted to a one-year-old's tastebuds.

But on the inside he was a wreck. Constantly jumping to the worst case scenario, terrified something was going to happen to his pride and joy. 

Because he loved Mark more than _anything. _He had made that little baby all on his own. Okay, so Taeil helped a bit, but they had made him together. With love. And Taeyong really did love him. 

And nothing was ever going to hurt him. 

Ever. 

"What are we going to do today, Markie?" Taeyong asked himself, knowing he wasn't going to get an answer. It was beginning to feel a little lonely without having Taeil around, but he didn't have much choice. He couldn't exactly take Mark to work with him. He wasn't sure they made hard hats that small. A building site wasn't exactly the ideal place for a baby. 

Taeyong was lucky in the fact that he could work from home. Sure, he worked in construction but it's not like he was the one cementing bricks together, god no, he was an architect, and blue prints didn't really require him being in the office at all times. Not that he got much work done at home... Maybe he should hire a nanny. But would anyone live up to his ridiculously high standards? Probably not. 

"I think Uncle Jae's still sick so we can't go visit him... And Uncle Johnny and Ten are probably busy at work." He sighed to himself. It had only been about three days since Taeil went away but he was beginning to miss adult interaction. "I guess we could drop by anyway, see what they're up to. If not we'll go to the store and get some stuff so we can make Appa a nice dinner for when he gets home, huh?"

Thank god Taeil was going to be home later this evening, because he was seriously beginning to lose his mind. He just wanted to be cuddled, and maybe have the stress fucked out of him. 

But for now, he'd try paying his friends a visit. 

That was a big pro of Johnny and Ten owning their own business, he could turn up whenever he wanted. Sure, they weren't always in, and he had learnt it was easier just to show up and press the intercom because they were both awful at responding to messages, but it was worth a try. Not like he had anything else planned today. 

"Neo City Creative, how can I help?"

"Hey! It's Taeyong, are you guys busy?"

"Oh! Hey! Not really..." Taeyong heard Johnny him across the intercom. "You wanna come up?"

"Please."

"Sure let me buzz you in."

Taeyong made his way up the stairs, Mark in his arms as he pushed into Ten and Johnny’s office. Okay, Johnny wasn't lying when he said they weren't busy. The two of them were sat on the sofa they had for meeting with clients in the corner of the room, Keeping Up with the Kardashians playing on the TV. 

"Is this all you two do all day?" He quirked an eyebrow. He got that starting up your own business was hard, and that maybe they didn't have quite as many clients as an already established design company, but surely this wasn't going to help. 

"No! We're just having a break! I've been staring at my computer non-stop all day."

"So now you're staring at a different screen instead?"

"Jesus, calm down, mom." Ten scoffed, shoving a chocolate button into his mouth. "It's lunch time. And I need to know if Tristan showed up to True's first birthday."

Taeyong sighed, letting his bag fall off of his shoulder. He was glad he and Johnny hadn't ended up in the same realm of design, he wasn't sure he'd be able to cope working with these two. But, he may as well sit down and join them, not like he had anything else to do. 

"Hi, cutie!" Johnny shuffled along, giving Taeyong room to sit as he held his arms out to take Mark. "We don't have much for you to play with here, sorry."

"I have a few things in my bag, he'll be fine."

"What brings you here anyway?"

"Dunno, just bored I guess. Taeil's been away a few days and there's only so much conversation you can get out of a one year old."

Johnny laughed softly as Mark made grabby hands for the floor. He was getting a little more adventurous now he could stand; he seemed to want to do it at even given opportunity. So Johnny popped him on the ground, it wasn't like their office was that big, they'd be able to keep an eye on him as he crawled around. 

"That's kind of cute."

"Yeah, well, I miss him." Taeyong sighed, resting his head against the back of the sofa. "How's Jae?"

"Getting there. Stopped throwing up. He's gutted he missed Mark's party, said he'd come over and see him when he's better."

"Markie would love that. No offence, but Jaehyun is his favourite Uncle."

Johnny scoffed, he already knew that. 

Back when they were younger, it had been Taeyong and Johnny who were the closest; they lived together, with Ten, in their first couple of years of university following graduating from the same high school. But when Johnny began dating Jaehyun things changed. Johnny honestly thought Taeyong was going to hate him - that was usually the case. There hadn't been a single person Johnny had dated in the past that was good enough for his best friend. 

But Taeyong absolutely adored Jaehyun. The two of them got on like a house on fire, and it wasn't long before Taeyong and Jaehyun were spending time together without Johnny. He couldn't even bring himself to be jealous at the fact his new boyfriend had stolen one of his best friends, he was just happy they liked each other. 

"That's fine, I have my own little niece or nephew on the way that's going to love Uncle Johnny way more than they love Uncle Jaehyun. Right?" Johnny turned to his best friend; head tilting as he noticed what Ten was up to. "...Ten?"

"Good boy!" Ten popped a chocolate button in Mark's mouth, making the toddler giggle. "Other paw."

Taeyong watched on in horror as Ten put his hand, Mark's much smaller one following to give it a little hand shake. Did he just say _paw?_

"Are you trying to train my child like a dog?"

"Hey, it's working." Ten gave Mark another button, along with a little pat on the head for good measure. "He's pretty smart. Aren't you Markie? Yes you are!"

Taeyong rolled his eyes at the stupid baby voice Ten was using. Jesus Christ. As _if _he was going to have a kid of his own in a few months. 

"Have you and Kun ever thought of going to classes, to you know, help you learn to look after a kid?"

"What are you implying, Taeyong?" Ten smiled that one smile that meant he was trying his hardest to keep composed. Johnny cleared his throat uncomfortably, how did he always manage to get stuck in the middle of these two? You'd think he would have learnt from putting up with their squabbling all through university. 

"Babies aren’t puppies, Ten. You can't just train them to sit and go piss outside."

"I mean...I literally just taught him to sit." Ten motioned towards the one year old sat on the floor, looking pretty pleased with himself. "I doubt it's that different."

"Jesus Christ." Taeyong sat back against the sofa, fingers rubbing into his temples. Ten gave him a serious headache sometimes. "I can't believe _you're_ actually having a baby." 

"I'm going to be an _amazing _mommy, aren't I Markie?" Ten slipped the boy another chocolate button, earning him a happy giggle which he took to mean yes. "And actually, we have got classes booked. We're starting next month."

"Oh? Really?" Taeyong sat back up. He was actually kind of surprised Ten was taking this seriously. It had come as a massive shock to him when he found out the younger was pregnant, even more so when he found out Ten wanted to keep the baby. "Well...good. I think it'll be useful for you."

"Yeah, hopefully." Ten was actually totally freaking out. He had no experience with babies whatsoever, besides seeing Mark every so often. It's not like he'd ever been left alone with him though. And soon he was going to have one all of his own. He was way out of his depth. 

"You can come to me whenever you want. I'm like the only person you know with a kid, right? If you need any help just ask me or Taeil. We'll be glad to."

Ten smiled shyly. Honestly, he loved Taeyong a lot. They had known each other for years and they'd been through a lot. Messy break ups, exam meltdowns, they'd even been seeing the same guy in uni without knowing. The asshole played the two of them off against each other, and when they found out shit hit the fan. For him. It only made Ten and Taeyong's friendship stronger. Sure, they argued a lot and they didn't always see eye to eye, but they loved each other. They really did. 

"Thanks, Yonggie."

"Aw! Look at you two! My besties being civil with one another!" Johnny wrapped his arms around the two of them, pulling them into a tight hug. 

"Jesus, John, calm down." Taeyong squirmed, trying to get out of the elders grasp. "You act like we literally hate each other."

"Yeah, don't pop a boner. Cause I'm not wanking you off."

"Me either."

"Again." Ten scoffed, earning him a glare from Taeyong. 

"I thought we weren't going to bring that up anymore."

"It slipped out." Ten shrugged. "Like how Johnny’s dick just slipped into your hand in the bathroom at that party."

"Okay, let's just-" Johnny held his hands up, trying to diffuse the situation. "That was a long time ago."

"Yeah! It was! Do you want me to list off how many dicks you sucked at uni? Cause that's going to take a while and I'm pretty sure your lunch break is over soon."

"Aww, is Yonggie getting all defensive? Does your husband know that you used to be the biggest slut in our building?"

"Oh that is _rich _coming from you. The amount of guys I had to make breakfast for?"

"Yeah but..." Ten raised his eyebrows, signalling towards Johnny. "At least I never fucked my best friend."

"I never fucked him either! I gave him a hand job at Wendy's party because he was sad he'd just broken up with that guy and we were drunk. You've done _way _worse."

Johnny sighed, standing up. They weren’t going to stop so there was no point in even trying. 

He scooped Mark up in his arms, taking him across the other side of the room and settling down in his computer chair.

"How about we find something to watch on Netflix, huh? Drown out Daddy and Uncle Ten’s arguing."

༓࿇༓

Johnny giggled as Jaehyun nuzzled his nose against the nape of his neck, arms wrapped around his waist. 

"Someone feels better."

"I do." Jaehyun nipped at Johnny’s neck, making the elder whine softly. "A lot better."

"Jae." Johnny gasped out as his boyfriend pushed his hips forward, already hard dick pressing up against his ass. "You sure?"

"So fucking sure." Jaehyun didn't feel sick anymore. He didn't have a fever or a headache and he felt a hell of a lot perkier than he had the past few days. And now he was horny. He wasn't used to going this long without. "Want you so bad."

Johnny chuckled under his breath as Jaehyun’s hand slipped down the back of his boxers. He really wasn't messing around here, was he? 

"Okay, okay." Johnny squeaked out as Jaehyun prodded a dry finger to his entrance. He reached across to their bedside table to grab a bottle of lube, if they were going to do this then he wanted to be fully prepared. 

"I missed you." Jaehyun sighed into dark hair as he slicked his fingers up, wasting no time in shimmying Johnny’s underwear down and slipping one into his boyfriend. 

"Missed me? I've been babying you for the past week." Johnny had barely left Jaehyun’s side, apart from when he had to go to work. But the moment he got home he was there to make the love of his life feel better. 

"That's not what a meant." Jaehyun added a second finger already, making Johnny whimper. He didn't want to hurt him, but he was kind of in a hurry here. "I missed hearing you."

Johnny gasped out as Jaehyun latched onto his neck, fingers crooking at the same time. Jaehyun liked it when he was loud, which was embarrassing for Johnny to start with. He'd always been stuck in the dominant role with any of his exes, being the tall, manly one or whatever. He was the one to make other people scream. 

But that all changed when Jaehyun came along. He opened up Johnny’s eyes (and his butt cheeks) to a whole other world of pleasure. He never expected himself to like bottoming until Jaehyun came along, and he definitely never expected himself to enjoy slipping into that submissive headspace and allowing someone else to take care of him for a change. 

But holy fuck he did. 

He wasn't sure he'd trust anyone other than Jaehyun with that part of his life, but it didn't matter, right? Cause they were going to be together forever. 

"Oh my god, Jae." Johnny arched his back as Jaehyun slid a third finger in. He was starting to get impatient himself. He hated waiting. "Just fuck me. Please."

"You sure, baby? You don't need more time?"

Johnny shook his head against the pillow as Jaehyun scissored his fingers one last time. "I can take it. Just- I need your cock."

"You're so cute when you get like this." Jaehyun mused, pulling his length out of his pyjama bottoms. He was already hard, having woke up this morning from a very nice dream that involved Johnny on his knees with his hands tied behind his back. That would explain why he was so horny. "When you're so desperate to be fucked. Open up."

Johnny crooked his knee, reaching down to pull his cheeks apart so Jaehyun had better access. He didn't love this position, but Jaehyun did. He loved cuddling so much that fucking his boyfriend while spooning him was absolutely perfect in his eyes. 

"You want me to put a condom on?"

"Don't be stupid." Johnny scoffed. Unlike Jaehyun, he was on the pill. His boyfriend couldn't take it; the hormones seriously affected his mood and his skin, so he tried to stay away from any form of medicinal birth control. But for Johnny they were a life saver, had the completely opposite effect. He had started taking them young, in an attempt to sort out the acne he had as a teenager, and it had worked. It just so happened they also stopped him from getting pregnant, which was great because there was nothing he loved more than Jaehyun coming in his ass. "Just fuck me."

Jaehyun did as he was told, slicking himself up before pressing the tip of his cock to Johnny’s entrance. He could already tell he wasn't stretched enough, but Johnny insisted he could take it. 

"You ready?"

Johnny whined the younger's name, Jaehyun was always so damn careful, and sure, it was cute, but come on! Just stick it in already. 

Which to Johnny’s delight, he did. 

"Oh my god, baby."

Jaehyun chuckled lowly, holy fuck, Johnny really was tight. But god did he feel good. 

"You've missed that, huh?"

"So much." Johnny breathed out as Jaehyun inched his way inside. He had been so caught up in looking after his boyfriend he hadn't actually realised how much he had missed sex. It had only been a week but...wow. "God, just fuck me."

"Patience." Jaehyun tutted. "You wouldn't let me finger you properly so you're crazy tight. I'm nearly there."

Johnny moaned as he felt Jaehyun’s balls press up against his perineum. As he finally bottomed out. Oh that felt so good. He pushed his hips back, as a silent request, hoping that would work considering Jaehyun had been ignoring him up until now. 

"You're so demanding." The blonde chuckled, wrapping his arms around Johnny’s waist, scattering kisses across his boyfriend’s shoulders. "This is nice. Maybe we should stay like this for a bit."

Johnny hummed, that would be nice actually. He was still pretty tired, he wasn't going to lie. He couldn't remember the last time he cockwarmed Jaehyun.

But not today. Or at least not yet, maybe they could do that later while they watched a movie or something. 

Right now he wanted to be fucked. 

"No, come on!" Johnny pushed his hips back again, trying to fuck himself on Jaehyun’s cock, which was easier said than done considering the position they were both currently in. 

"Okay, Jesus, calm down." Jaehyun laughed against Johnny’s skin. He loved how the tables had turned here. How he was the one desperate for a quick fuck before and now Johnny was practically losing his mind over Jaehyun’s cock. "There, better?"

Johnny moaned out a yes as Jaehyun finally began to move. God he needed that. His thrusts were only shallow, working up to something much bigger but...for now. This was good. Really fucking good. 

No one had ever made him feel as good as Jaehyun does, and maybe that's because no one had ever loved him as much as Jaehyun does... Or something just as disgusting and soppy. 

"Jaehyun." Johnny moaned as his boyfriend latched onto his neck, and arms tightened around his waist, pulling him in even closer so he could really fuck him deep and hard. "Hyung..."

Jaehyun groaned lowly right next to Johnny’s ear, that always got him going. Johnny may be two years older than him, but there was nothing that turned Jaehyun on more than him screaming for his Hyung to fuck him. 

"You like that, don't you, baby?" Jaehyun was really starting to get into it now, hips slapping against Johnny’s cheeks as he fucked him harder, little grunts of pleasure coming from the elder with every thrust. "You love when Hyung fucks you like the little slut you are."

He hooked his leg over Johnny’s, allowing him to thrust even deeper, the new angle rubbing up against Johnny’s sweet spot over and over, making him cry out. 

"Hyung! That's so-" Johnny buried his face in the pillow, fingers gripping into it as he tried to muffle his moans. It still embarrassed him a little. Even though Jaehyun had heard him like this a million times, he always felt a little awkward. Like he shouldn't be so loud. 

"So what? Tell me baby." Jaehyun tilted Johnny’s head to the side, fingers under his chin to guide him softly, making sure he couldn't hide in the pillow. His cheeks were so red, eyes cast down, refusing to look at him. Cute. "You know I like to hear you. I've missed it so much."

"S-So good." Johnny mumbled out. 

"Good? Is that the best you can do?"

"Hyung, it- it- Oh my god!" Johnny cried out as Jaehyun hit him right where he wanted, almost knocking his boyfriend out as he threw his head back in sheer pleasure. "Right there. Hyung please, want more. I love your cock so - fuck, yes - much."

"That's more like it." Jaehyun sucked a deep mark into Johnny’s neck, drilling into him from behind over and over as the elder chanted his name. And Johnny sounded _so _fucking good_. _So good Jaehyun could feel himself coming close to the edge. He reached down to grab Johnny’s cock, making his boyfriend cry out even louder now the pleasure had intensified. Fuck the fact it was 8am on a Saturday morning and they had most definitely woken the people in the apartment next door. Fuck it because Jaehyun loved this boy more than anything and there was nothing he loved more than hearing that boy scream his name. 

"Hyung, I'm so-" Johnny pushed his hips back as best he could, needing more, needing just that little bit extra to tip him over the edge. "Can I come?"

"Just a little more, baby." Jaehyun hissed as Johnny squeezed around him, urging him to hurry up. He usually loved teasing his boyfriend, having this giant man begging for mercy, controlling every second of his orgasm. But this morning he couldn't be bothered. He just wanted to fuck Johnny and fill him up. He wanted to roll over and cuddle, and who knew, maybe they could heat things up again later. 

But right now he wanted to come with the love of his life in his arms. 

"You feel so fucking good, Johnny." Jaehyun's breath was short as he tried to speak, hips slamming into his boyfriend, rhythm sloppy as his organs drew closer. "Come with me."

Johnny definitely didn't need to be told twice, he let himself give into the sensation of Jaehyun fucking into him, of his hand pumping his cock and he let himself come with a loud, uncharacteristic high pitches cry of his boyfriend’s name. 

He came in spurts across the mattress sheet, the rest dribbling down Jaehyun’s fingers, making him impossibly wet as Jaehyun kept fisting at his hypersensitive cock. 

He couldn't take much more. He needed to be filled. 

"H-Hyung-"

That's all it took to too Jaehyun over the edge, the pathetic whimper from Johnny's lips. All it took before Jaehyun was spilling inside of him, hot come coating his walls, just how he liked it. 

"Oh god." Johnny panted as Jaehyun’s hips slowed, as they came down from their orgasms in tandem. "I'm so fucking glad you feel better."

Jaehyun chuckled behind him, arms wrapping around Johnny’s waist once more, pulling him into a tight hug. 

"You missed it that much?"

Johnny lifted the corner of the duvet, scoffing at how much of a mess he had made. It had only been a week, but that was a long time for them. "Clearly."

"We'll deal with that later." Jaehyun pulled the covers back down, Johnny was letting all the cold air in. "Wanna cuddle."

Johnny smiled softly to himself as Jaehyun nuzzled back into the nape of his neck. He loved starting his mornings like this; being spooned by the love of his life, even better the fact Jaehyun’s now soft cock was still nestled deep inside of him. That meant there was definitely going to be a round two, maybe after a little nap. 

They had such a perfect little life together. And Johnny wouldn't change it for the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u read there must be something in the water then I'm sure u can guess the purpose of those smut scene uwu  
should've used that johnny, Johnny boy
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!!


	3. moving day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter of my fave preggo boys!! get ready for some fluff and tbh what might be my fave getting together story ever. Oh and it's rounded off with a lil smut uwu

"Happy halfiversary!"

Ten rolled over in his bed as a voice called from the doorway where Kun was stood a cupcake with a candle stuck in the top. 

"Happy what?"

"It's our six month anniversary." Kun smiled, sitting down on the edge of Ten’s bed, popping the cake on his bedside table as he pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's forehead. "Half a year!"

Ten laughed softly to himself. Cute. He propped himself up on his elbow to blow the candle out. He had never celebrated a half anniversary before, but then again he'd never been with anyone as soppy and adorable as Kun before. 

"Did you make a wish?"

"I did." Ten lay back down on his back, fingers splaying out over his bump. "But I can't tell you what it was or it won't come true."

Kun's eyes followed Ten’s fingers as they danced across his stomach. He had an idea of what it was. 

"I love you."

Ten hummed as Kun's fingers stroked through his hair, eyes fluttering shut. He could quite happily go back to sleep. He was tired all the time recently and Kun was always so gentle with him- well, almost always. But right now, the way his boyfriend stroked his hair... 

"I love you too."

"Hey." Kun chuckled under his breath at how thick Ten's voice was. "You need to get up, there's still so much to do."

Ten groaned to himself. It was Saturday, he just wanted to lie in and relax and maybe fool around a bit in the mid afternoon after he'd woken up a little but...no. Kun was right. He still had so much to do. So much to pack. 

"I'm not meant to lift anything heavy." Ten whined, nuzzling into his pillow. "You're going to have to do it for me."

Kun scoffed. As if he hadn't seen that one coming. 

"Don't worry, baby, you're not going to be lifting anything. But you can fold the hundreds of clothes you have. Not that I have any idea where they're going to go. The built in wardrobes at our new place aren't that big."

Ten got butterflies at that - _our place. _He couldn't actually believe he and Kun were moving in together. Then again, he most definitely couldn't believe that they were having a baby together

This was by far the last thing he would have expected to happen when he and Kun first met. 

It was a miracle he could remember it, honestly, considering how wasted he was. It was his twenty-fifth birthday though, who could blame him for drowning his sorrows? A quarter of a century. Jesus. 

But there was this one guy in the club he had dragged Johnny and Jaehyun along to that he couldn't take his eyes off of. Dark hair pushed back off of his face, shaven at the sides. Black leather jacket on top of a tight fitted shirt. Probably the best eyebrows he'd ever seen in his life. Ten was a little enamoured with him - not that he would ever admit that aloud - so it wasn't long before he ended up with his tongue rammed down the guys throat, because Ten always got what he wanted. 

Which was why they ultimately ended up in one of the bathrooms stalls of said club, Ten pinned up against the wall, whining into the guy’s mouth, begging over and over for his cock because _fuck _he didn't care how dirty this place was. He _needed_ it. It was his birthday and he wanted some dick. 

But, it wasn't to be. The toilet attendant came banging on the door, ordering them to come out. He missed the days when those people didn't exist. Who wanted to buy a lollipop in a club anyway? Interfering little bitches. 

He sighed to himself as the moment was ruined, as the guy - whose name he still didn't even know at this point - backed off a little. 

But Ten wasn't going to let him get away that easily. There was absolutely no way he was going home with blue balls on his birthday. 

"Come back to mine."

The guy looked at him, eyes dark. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Take me home and fuck me."

So, he did. 

Despite the amount of jäger that was in his system, Ten could vividly remember the crippling orgasm he had that night. How long he twitched after he came. The way he was showered with kisses as he melted into the mattress - something not a single one of his previous one night stands would have thought of doing. And he definitely remembered falling asleep with arms around his waist. 

Which was why he felt like shit when he woke up in an empty bed - and it wasn't just because of the hangover. 

He had such a good time last night and he could barely even remember the guy’s name. And now he was gone. Oh well. Maybe he'd pop up on tinder or something one day and they could go for round two. 

He settled back against his headboard, phone in hand as he read over Johnny’s texts from last night asking if he'd gotten home safe and debated whether it was too lazy to get a bacon sandwich delivered to his flat when he noticed something on the pillow next to him. 

A post it note? 

_ 'Had to shoot off early sorry. Here's my number. Kun x' _

Kun?

That was his name! Jesus how could he have forgotten? He was screaming it for the better part of the night. 

But...he had left his number, so...? That meant he wanted to see Ten again, right? Ten chewed on his bottom lip. He didn't really mess around with people more than once. Not right now, anyway. He was in that single and ready to mingle period of his life after breaking up with his previous boyfriend a few months back, but... A second round wouldn't hurt, right? It _was _pretty good sex, after all. 

So after a couple of text messages back and forth Ten found himself on the dance floor (of a different club, this time), grinding up against Kun in the tiniest pair of shorts he owned, teeth clashing against one another in the filthiest kiss imaginable. 

And it wasn't long until this became a regular thing. He and Kun would go out for drinks, buy a couple of rounds of shots and end up back in Ten’s bed, the mountain of pillows he liked to sleep with strewn across the room as Kun fucked him into the mattress. 

But then the drinking stopped. It seemed stupid going through the whole ritual of wasting money, staying out late and getting drunk when they could just skip straight to the good part. Kun would come over after work, which was even better because then they had time for more than one round. And _foreplay. _That was one thing that drunken sex never involved, both of them way too gone to bother. But holy fuck, the foreplay was almost as good as the sex. So good Ten would make Kun stay over on the Friday night just so he could wake the elder up with a blowjob the next morning. 

And then...something weird happened. 

The sex stopped. Well, it didn't _stop. _But it didn't seem to be their main focus anymore. Sure, Kun would come over and they'd definitely fuck at some point throughout the weekend. But they'd watch movies together, Kun would cook and Ten would do the dishes and they'd _talk. _Which looking back was so wonderfully domestic Ten couldn't believe he was so shocked when Kun popped the question one night at the end of March. 

"I'm not fucking anyone else."

Ten blinked, chest heaving as his post-orgasm brain tried to figure out just what the fuck Kun was talking about. He still had a dick in his ass for God's sake. 

"What?"

"I'm not seeing anyone else. Just you, I- I just wanted you to know."

Ten felt his cheeks heat up a little. That was...cute. It had honestly never crossed his mind before considering what they had was just a bit of fun, but... Cute. 

"Me either."

Kun smiled that stupid dimpled smile Ten had begun to think about at work when he was ready to blow his brains out because he'd had to redesign this one logo for a particularly fussy old lady that had started selling her own jams at least sixteen times. But those dimples seemed to calm him down for some dumb reason. 

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Ten gaped. Did Kun just say the b-word? Did he- Oh god. Everything was ruined. Ten wasn't ready for that. He wasn't even sure he was over his ex, never mind ready to get back into another relationship. 

But...he missed it. He missed going on dates and waking up to cute text messages and holding hands and kisses that didn't involve biting and saliva. And he and Kun kind of...did a lot of relarionshippy stuff anyway. Right? 

So he said yes. With a big old grin on his face he said yes. 

And he was glad he did because Kun turned out to be the most amazing man Ten had ever met. He had been absolutely terrified of telling his boyfriend he had fallen pregnant, they had only been together three months when he found out for God's sake, and he was terrified of the elder’s reaction. He was going to end up single again, he just knew it. Single and stuck with a baby he hadn't planned for or wanted. Single and stuck with a huge decision he'd have to make all on his own because no one in their right mind would want anything to do with him this early on in the game. 

But...maybe Kun isn't in his right mind, because he actually smiled when Ten told him. He _smiled. _And it was so fucking weird because Ten had literally tensed to every muscle in his body, preparing himself for the worst possible outcome that he had no idea how to respond. But Kun just held his hand. He told him that he would be there no matter what. That just because they hadn't been together long he wanted to support Ten if he chose to go through with this pregnancy and...Ten believed him. He believed him because people didn't bother lying to him. They tended to just tell him the truth when shit hit the fan. People didn't bother trying to spare his feelings when they could just get rid of him and be done with it. 

So, maybe Kun wasn't in his right mind, but he was a hell of a lot better than anyone Ten had been with in the past, and there was no one he would rather have by his side throughout the next eight months. 

It still astounded Ten a little that he had even decided to go through with this, to keep the baby. He knew it astounded his friends, but...Kun made him believe they could do this. Together. That they could bring this little human into the world and look after him or her no matter what. And that's what made Ten realise he had fallen. Deep. They may not have been together that long, but Ten knew when he was onto something good. And he most definitely was when it came to Kun. 

"You'll just have to throw away all your stuff then." He smirked, coming back down to reality. He had this annoying habit of getting lost in Kun's eyes and remembering about the past. How gross. "Cause I'm going to need more soon. Those stretchy pants look _amazing." _

Kun rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. Ten was a nightmare, and packing all of the shit he had managed to cram into his tiny little apartment was going to be an even bigger nightmare. But it would be worth it because soon it would just be him Ten and their baby. He couldn't wait. 

"Either way, you need to get up. Johnny and Jaehyun said they were gonna help but they have plans later, so we need to make the most of it."

Ten pouted. He _hated _moving. He couldn't wait to be in his new place. In _their _new place. But the process of getting there? Ugh. What a fucking ballache. Packing everything into boxes, and taking everything out of the boxes and putting them back where they belonged. He just couldn't be bothered. Especially not in his state. 

"Fine! But let me lie here just a little longer. I'm tired."

"Sure." Kun pressed a kiss to Ten’s forehead. The last thing he wanted was for his boyfriend to over exert himself, but he felt like the quicker they got moved, the easier it would be for him to relax in the long run. He didn't want this to be a case of them still trying to unpack when Ten was much bigger and way more stressed. He just wanted it out of the way. "I'll give you fifteen minutes, then you need to start clearing your wardrobe."

"Yes, Daddy." It was Ten’s turn to roll his eyes this time. He thought being pregnant would get him out of doing any actual work, but clearly not. "Wait!" He grabbed onto Kun's arm as the elder stood up, eyes flickering across to the cupcake on his bedside table. "Baby's hungry. Feed me."

Kun quirked an eyebrow. "Are you referring to our baby as being hungry or yourself as...a hungry baby?"

"Both. We're both babies."

Kun couldn't help but smile at how adorable his boyfriend was. Sure, he was demanding, lying there with his mouth open waiting for Kun to hand feed him like some kind of newborn bird, but he was cute. So he'd let it slide. 

Ten let out a content hum as Kun ripped a piece if the cupcake off and popped it into his mouth. Triple chocolate chip. His favourite. He loved getting his own way, and even though Kun was making him get up and do work, he took this as a win regardless. 

"Can you believe we're doing this?"

"Not really." Kun laughed softly, feeding Ten another piece of cake. This was the last thing on his mind eight months ago when he first met Ten. But now it was reality - there was nothing he wanted more. "But we've signed the lease so we don't really have a choice."

"I can't wait to wake up with you every morning." Ten grinned, pressing a soft kiss to Kun's fingertips. He did that most mornings anyway, since Kun seemed to sleep over at his more than he did at his own place. But this was going to be different. He was going to have someone to come home to. Someone to look after him throughout the rest of his pregnancy. Someone to raise his child with. 

"Me either." Kun traced the outline of Ten’s lips as the younger sighed contentedly. "But..."

Ten pouted, knowing what was coming. He could read Kun like a book. 

"We're going to have to get a move on for that to happen. Unless you want to wake up together on the floor because you can't be bothered to get out of your bed and get it in the removal van."

༓࿇༓

"Oh wow." Johnny stepped into the near-empty house, a ridiculously heavy box in his arms. He and Jaehyun had agreed to helping Ten move into the new place he and Kun were renting, and it was...big. Especially for London. Johnny was pretty sure the living room alone was the size of Ten’s whole apartment. How the hell could they afford this? "This place is..."

"Big?" Ten beamed as he followed Johnny in, carrying a single cactus. "Yeah, we got pretty lucky. Apparently the landlady is new to the game so we _may _have persuaded her that her prices were too high and that no one would possibly pay that, so..."

"You conned a woman out of her house?"

Ten shrugged. Who cared? He needed it more than anyone else. Neither his nor Kun's places were big enough for a baby so they _needed _to move. "I mean, my parents are helping us out too. We were just gonna get a two bedroom, but..."

"What if you have more kids?"

"God no. I want a walk in wardrobe." Ten scoffed. More kids? Johnny was hilarious. 

"How did your parents take it?"

Ten shrugged again, planting his cactus on the window sill in lieu of any actual furniture that was still in the removal van. 

"They were shocked, but...I dunno, I think they're just happy I'm settling down or whatever." Ten knew he had been a little wild when he was younger. He knew his parents worried about him being on the other side of the world doing god knows what. And if he was being perfectly honest, they had every right to worry. He used to get up to some dumb shit. 

But he was different now. He'd grown up. And while he was going to miss partying til five in the morning, he was looking forward to this chapter of his life. 

"I'm glad they're helping us out, though. I'm not sure what we would have done without the extra money."

Johnny hummed to himself. Houses didn't come cheap, but he was glad Ten and Kun were able to provide a safe environment for their new arrival. 

That was the biggest thing holding him and Jaehyun back from starting their own family. The financial aspect. There was no way they could move into a bigger place right now, not until business picked up for him and Ten, anyway. Being self-employed was a struggle, but he wasn't ready to give up on his dream just yet. 

"Jesus, Ten. What's in here?" Jaehyun made his way into the house, plonking a box down on the carpeted floor with a bang. "It weighs a tonne."

"Books."

"When was the last time you read anything?" Jaehyun groaned, rubbing his back as he straightened up. "Did you not have a clear out before moving? Throw some stuff you don't need away?"

"No, because what if I need it later? I have a legacy to uphold now. There are things I need to pass down to my baby."

"Like this karma sutra guide?" Jaehyun quirked an eyebrow, picking the book on the top of the pile from the box. "Really?"

"That." Kun plucked the book from Jaehyun’s hands as he appeared behind him. "Is for me to enjoy after the baby is born."

Johnny snorted. Ten and Kun were honestly perfect for one another. He couldn't be happier for his best friend, though...he did feel a little jealous and he wasn't sure why. Maybe because this was ultimately what he wanted. The new house with a dining room and a garden and eventually a nursery and...a baby. Because that _was _what he wanted. One day. Part of him just kind of wished that day would come a little sooner. 

But he knew it wasn't realistic right now. Not if they wanted to do things properly. 

The four of them set about unpacking everything from the removal van. Well, three of them. Ten sort of supervised and barked his orders as he let Johnny, Jaehyun and his boyfriend do the physical graft. But it was finally coming together. Sure, their new place was a little mismatched - using a combination of his and Kun’s furniture from their previous homes meant they ended up with one black leather sofa and another burgundy crushed velvet one that clashed with the terracotta feature wall but it was fine. That wasn't important right now. They could always redecorate further down the line. 

"I still can't believe you guys are doing this." Johnny mused, taking a bite out of his pizza. They were sat on the floor of Ten and Kun’s dining room, having a well Deserved break. They didn't have a table or chairs or anything yet, so the room was practically empty. "All through university Ten was adamant he'd never have kids or settle down. Now look at you."

Ten rolled his eyes. Okay, so he may have grown up a little since then... He really never imagined this would be his life, though. And he definitely never imagined he'd enjoy it. 

"He just needed to find the right person, didn't you, sweetie?" Kun pressed a kiss to Ten's cheek, giggling as the younger squirmed away from him. He knew what a surprise it was to all of Ten's friends that he had decided to keep the baby - it was a surprise to Kun's own friends too. A lot of them thought he was being stupid, shacking up with someone he hadn't been with that long. Tying himself to a kid when he could easily just make a run for it and not have to change his entire life.

But Kun wasn't like that. He wanted this baby, and he was over the moon that Ten did too. They may not be the most conventional couple, but they were happy, and they were going to do everything in their power to make this work. 

"You're so gross." Ten twisted his nose. What had he signed up for? Eighteen years of Kun having his life and embarrassing him in front of his friends? Great. 

Though...he could think of worse people he'd want to spend his life with. 

"They're adorable." Jaehyun whispered to his boyfriend. He honestly never thought he'd live to see the day Ten settled down, this was a world away from who he was in university. 

And he definitely never expected to see Ten settle down with a gorgeous house and baby on the way before him and Johnny...it made him a little jealous. 

"They'll be inviting us over for dinner parties soon. Ten will become the perfect stepford wife like Taeyong, just watch."

"Oh my god, please send your kid to the same school as Mark. I would love to see you and Yong argue over who's bringing what to the bake sale."

"You seriously think our baby is going to some stuck up private school?" Ten scoffed. Even if they could afford it? No fucking way. "They've probably already got him a place in some posh high school in Kensington."

"Oh no, they want to stay local, apparently."

Ten groaned. His and Kun’s new place wasn't that far from Taeyong and Taeil's... They should have really factored that into the move. 

"We're going to have to host sleepovers with Mark Lee aren't we?"

"Oh come on," Kun nudged his boyfriend, "it’ll be nice for our kid to have a friend. Especially one that's older, to look out for them and stuff."

"I guess." Ten rolled his eyes. He would never admit it but he had been thinking about talking to Taeyong about all of this baby stuff. He didn't know anyone else with kids, other than his own parents and, well... He felt like he was going to need some advice a little down the line. He was already beginning to stress out about everything they needed. "Maybe our baby will be a positive influence on Mark. Make him less weird."

༓࿇༓

"Oh my god, you feel so fucking good." Johnny grunted, face buried in Jaehyun’s neck. 

Watching his boyfriend push around furniture all day had really done it for Johnny. He couldn't help but stare every time Jaehyun’s shirt rode up a little, the way his biceps flexed as he lifted boxes full of clothes Ten didn't need, the slight sheen of sweat on his forehead, even the way he paid attention to the tiniest of details, making sure all of the bits and bobs Ten and Kun has brought along with them to their new house had their own little place.

It was so wonderfully domestic Johnny couldn't help but jump on Jaehyun the second they made it back home.

But Jaehyun seemed a little distracted. He wasn't as loud as normal, wasn't screaming out Johnny’s name or clawing at the sheets.

"You doing good, baby?" He pulled back a little, looking down at his boyfriend.

"Tell me how much you love me."

Johnny's lips quirked up a little. Jaehyun got like this every so often - ridiculously soppy.

"I love you more than anyone or anything." Johnny leaned in, pressing a kiss to Jaehyun’s lip, noticing how the bottom one was jutted out slightly. "You never fail to make me smile, baby."

Jaehyun’s eyes fluttered shut, finally getting into it as Johnny gushed over him. He had been in a weird mood ever since leaving Ten and Kun’s new place and he wasn't quite sure why. There was nothing he loved more than Johnny’s dick in him, but his mind was elsewhere.

"You're so perfect." Johnny breathed out as Jaehyun lifted his hips a little, allowing Johnny to find that sweet spot inside of him. "Everything about you- Your lips, your voice, that cute little giggle you do whenever I kiss you in public."

Jaehyun moaned, that was more like it. Okay, so, maybe he was a bit of an attention whore. He couldn't help himself. He loved being praised, loved hearing Johnny ramble on about every little thing he lived about him.

"And, god I love your ass so fucking much."

"Enough to buy me a three bedroom house?"

"Of course, baby." Johnny was way too caught up in the moment to fully acknowledge Jaehyun’s weird attempt at sexy talk. Pretty much anything his boyfriend said sounded hot to him right now. "Enough to buy you a four bedroom."

"Really?" Jaehyun squeaked out, suddenly a lot more alert. "What are we gonna do with a four bedroom house?"

"I dunno." Johnny sat back on his heels, drinking qin the view of Jaehyun laid out in front of him. He grabbed a hold of his boyfriend’s hips, pulling him into his lap so he could give him a real pounding. "Fill it with kids, I guess."

"You wanna have kids with me?"

"Of course I do." Johnny snapped his hips, making Jaehyun’s back arch off of the mattress. Holy fuck. "At least three."

"Two boys and a girl?"

"Don't care." Johnny picked up a steady rhythm, fucking into Jaehyun like he genuinely was trying to knock him up. "And a dog too. I'm going to marry the fuck out of you first, though."

Jaehyun giggled between moans. That sounded fucking perfect.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you Jaehyunnie." Johnny leaned back in, catching the younger in an open mouthed kiss. His thrusts were becoming sloppy as he let himself give into how good Jaehyun felt wrapped around him. "I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too Johnny." Jaehyun whined. He was so fucking close, Johnny pounding into his prostate over and over. Just a little more... "Touch me. Please."

Johnny indulged him, fingers wrapping around Jaehyun’s cock, bringing him ever closer to the edge. He as pretty close himself.

"Johnny- I'm gonna-"

"Wait." Johnny pulled out, causing Jaehyun to whine. They may have been talking marriage and kids in the midst of passion but to be honest weren't quite in a place where they could afford a little one.

He slid his cock up against Jaehyun’s, wanking the both of them off as he shoved three fingers into his boyfriend, knowing how much he loved something inside of him when he came.

"Johnny- Please. Fuck, that's so-" Jaehyun couldn’t even get his words out as he tried to hold on, but- Fuck it. He wanted to come so that's what he was going to do.

"I'm coming!"

Jaehyun threw his head back against the pillows, back arching off of the bed as he let himself give into the sensation of Johnny’s fingers wrapped around his cock, as he came all over his stomach.

"Oh my god." Jaehyun whispered out, fingers gripping into the bedsheets as Johnny kept fisting both of their cocks, his entire body going into over drive. "Johnny, please come for me. I can't-"

"I'm nearly There baby," Johnny sat up straight, finally letting go of Jaehyun’s spent cock as he focused on his own. "You look so good like this, covered in come. You want more?"

Jaehyun nodded eagerly. He did. He wanted Johnny to come all over him, wanted to see him boyfriend reach orgasm.

"Please." Jaehyun stretched his torso a little, offering himself up as a canvas ready to be painted.

That was all Johnny needed to tip him over the edge, Jaehyun spread out in front of him, ready to take his load.

So that's exactly what he gave him, Johnny let himself come with a low groan of Jaehyun’s name, spurting strings of white across his boyfriends abs. Perfect.

"You're so beautiful." Johnny mused, leaning in to press a kiss to Jaehyun’s lips. He always looked so pretty like this. A mess, but a pretty mess. "Want me to clean you up?"

"No." Jaehyun pulled Johnny down on top of him, making the elder whine at the fact he too was now covered in spunk. "I want to talk."

"Oh yeah? About what?"

"Did you mean what you said? You want to have kids with me?"

"Of course I did!" Johnny thought they had been over this a number of times in the past. They both wanted kids, and they wanted them with each other. Just a little later down the line, when they were ready.

"And you want to buy me a big fancy house so they can all have their own room?"

"As soon as we can afford it, that's exactly what I want." Johnny pressed another kiss to his boyfriend’s lips as a way of sealing the deal. "After the big wedding though, of course."

Jaehyun giggled, fingers carding through Johnny’s hair. "You're cute."

"What's with all the questions, anyway? I thought we both knew that's what we wanted."

"Just making sure." Jaehyun shrugged. Today had been a little weird for him, helping someone else move into a gorgeous house with their brand new boyfriend. And they had a baby on the way too. He just...sort of thought he and Johnny would be next. "I might be a _tiny _bit jealous of Ten."

Johnny's lips quirked up. There it was. He knew there had to be something bothering Jaehyun.

"Really? You want to get knocked up by someone you met at Vogue Fabrics a few months ago? Thanks, Jae."

"That's not what I meant." Jaehyun slapped his boyfriend on the chest. "He's just... He's got the pretty house with the garden and a baby on the way and... That's what I want too. I know it's not the right time for us, but I always thought Ten would be the one helping us move into a proper family home while I waddled around pregnant."

Johnny pressed his finger to Jaehyun’s bottom lip, which was jutted out. He could be such a pouty little baby sometimes.

"And you know I want to give you that life, and it _will_ happen for us. But we always said we wanted to be in a more stable position before we had kids. He's my best friend and I love him, but I think he and Kun are really going to struggle. I don't want it to be like that for us."

"You're right." Jaehyun mumbled, playing with the pendant dangling from his boyfriend’s neck. The one he had gotten him for their three year anniversary. They had been over this a million times in the past - their five year plan. The both wanted to be in a better financial position before they considered bringing a child into the world. They didn't want to have to scrape by, running themselves ragged just to make ends meet. They wanted to be able to give their children the best life possible, but that was going to take time. "I'm just being a jealous little brat."

"You're kind of cute when you're being bratty though, so I'll let you off." Jaehyun let out a soft laugh as Johnny kissed him again. That was always his way of telling Jaehyun everything was going to be okay. "I promise it's going to happen for us one day, okay?"

Jaehyun knew that, he really did, he just wanted to hear it. It gave him something to look forward to, something to work towards.

"You ready for a shower?"

Jaehyun shook his head, a devilish smirk on his lips as he kept his eyes focused on the pendant he was playing with.

"I think you need to put this little brat in his place."

"Oh?" Jesus Christ, Jaehyun really was something else. "Does baby need punished for being such a jealous bitch?"

This time Jaehyun nodded, signalling for Johnny to lift up off of him by twisting his hips. Johnny sat back on his heels, cock starting to come back to life as Jaehyun turned onto his front before raising his ass in the air, offering himself up to Johnny.

"Teach me a lesson, Alpha."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so Jaehyun has an abo kink 🤷🏼♀️
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!!


	4. halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know ppl were interested about The Lees so here they are!! There's a lil sprinkling of Halloween here too aknskaks just a touch 
> 
> Pls enjoy!!!!

Taeyong hummed to himself as he rolled over into his husband's arms. He loved this. Saturday mornings where Taeil was home and he got to cuddle into him. No phone calls or emails or work to worry about. Just the two of them enjoying each other’s company.   
  
Taeil had been working away a lot lately, and Taeyong knew he didn't really have much choice, but he missed him nonetheless.   
  
"Morning gorgeous." Taeil's voice was croaky, barely even awake as his fingers carded through Taeyong’s hair. "Sleep okay?"  
  
"Great." Taeyong smiled, resting his head on Taeil's chest. "You?"  
  
"I did." Taeil sighed, almost blissfully. It felt good being back in his own bed. The hotel rooms work put him up in may be fancy, but nothing beat falling asleep next to Taeyong. "Wouldn't mind more, though."  
  
He let his eyes fall shut as Taeyong snuggled in closer. It may be the middle of October, but he didn't feel cold at all, despite the fact he could hear the wind blowing outside. He hoped it would calm down a little. He wanted to treat his husband and go out for food later. That was...if he could bring himself to get out of bed.   
  
But it didn't look like he was going to have much choice as the sound of crying came from the baby monitor.   
  
Taeyong pushed himself up with a groan, only for Taeil to tell him to lie back down.   
  
"I'll go; you've been looking after him all week."  
  
Taeyong smiled to himself as he lay back down. What did he do to deserve such a perfect husband?  
  
"Bring him in here once he's changed!" He called out, before settling back down. He wasn't ready to get out of bed either, and he wanted to spend the morning with his two favourite boys.   
  
Taeyong fiddled with his wedding band, a habit he has developed whenever Taeil was away - even though he was literally just down the hall in Mark's room. He didn't even realise he was doing it half the time, but it always made him smile, a reminder of the second happiest day of his life.   
  
Taeyong met Taeil not long after he had graduated university. He was living with Ten at the time, who had decided to study for an extra year so he could get his masters alongside Johnny. But Taeyong didn't care about that. He just wanted to jump straight into his dream job.   
  
Which thanks to his first class degree, he could.   
  
Taeyong had left university and waltzed straight into one of the best interior architecture companies in the country. He absolutely loved his job. He loved taking old spaces and making them something brand new. He loved giving homes a new lease of life by ripping out walls and making them look so much bigger and brighter. He loved designing colour schemes and picking out marble work tops and new sofas to complete the look. And he especially loved assisting the senior designers on bigger projects. Hotels. Clothing stores. Restaurants. Taeyong couldn't be happier.   
  
But...he was a little lonely.   
  
Now he wasn't in university anymore he was kind of bored going out and getting drunk to hook up with random guys charade. That wasn't to say he didn't do it anymore, he did live with Ten, after all. It was definitely part of their weekend ritual.   
  
But Taeyong wanted more. He wanted what Johnny and Jaehyun had.   
  
They were so in love. So happy together. They had someone to come home to after a long day - someone to cuddle and kiss, is what he meant by that. Sure, he had Ten, but...he could not think of anything worse than dating Ten. They'd kill each other.   
  
He was only twenty-one, but he wanted something serious.   
  
Which was why he turned to online dating.   
  
Meeting people was a nightmare. The only people he really spoke to were either work colleagues or clients, and it wasn't exactly appropriate to hook up with either of those. He wasn't really sure how else to go about it. The guys he met on nights out with his friends weren't exactly marriage material. The majority of them didn't even stick around until the morning.   
  
So, he felt like this was his best option. It was a lot easier to meet guys this way, to filter through the ones that just wanted to hook up and to wait find people who had similar interests with him without having all the awkward conversations beforehand. It was all right there. Written on their profiles.   
  
Or so he thought.   
  
It turned out that online dating was just as much of a nightmare as any other dating. Only this came with a lot of extra surprises.   
  
He'd had guys turn up looking nothing like their profile pictures - one a good thirty years older than the image he used. Apparently he had looked better in his mid-twenties. He'd had weirdos who seemed polite enough when he chatted to them online but in reality were complete assholes. One had made their waitress cry. Great first impressions. And then there was that guy that was obsessed with anime and talked only about anime and had only wanted to date Taeyong because he thought he was Japanese... That was something.   
  
So Taeyong was ready to throw in the towel. He was ready to delete the app on his phone and call it a night because he was sick of these absolute weirdos he kept getting paired up with.   
  
"Double gin and tonic...and a shot of rose tequila please." Taeyong sat down at the bar with a sigh. He'd just waved the last one off and bid him adieu, saying of course he'd call before sneaking back into the restaurant because he needed a drink after that experience. Phone number: blocked.   
  
He was ready to call Ten to see whether he was busy and wanted to come meet him when a voice spoke up beside him.   
  
"Rough night, huh?"  
  
The guy motioned to the opaque pink shot the bartender had placed in front of him.   
  
"You could say that." Taeyong mused before downing it. Maybe he should have just gotten normal tequila. The rose stuff didn't even burn. Didn't wash the taste of the tongue he'd just had rammed down his throat away. "Bad date."  
  
"Ah." The guy nodded, nibbling at the olive in his martini. "Drinking to forget it?"  
  
"Something like that. He was a flat earther. He thought gravity wasn't real."  
  
The guy almost choked on his olive.   
  
"Do you know why he thought it wasn't real?" The guy shook his head, clearly interested to find out. "Because cats exist."  
  
"Cats?"  
  
"Apparently if gravity was real, cats would be floating because they're too light."  
  
"What about mice?"  
  
"Well that's what I said!" Taeyong swivelled in his chair. He couldn't believe this was the most decent conversation he'd had all night and it was literally just common sense. "Apparently it would just be cats that float."  
  
"Wow." The man chuckled under his breath. "No wonder you're on the tequila. Fancy another?"  
  
Taeyong’s lips quirked up into a little smile. "Sure."  
  
Taeyong ended up speaking to the man for a couple of hours, eventually finding out his name was Taeil.   
  
He was few years older than Taeyong and training to become a fraud investigator, which Taeyong found fascinating. He reckoned it was a lot more interesting than his job but Taeil didn't agree.   
  
He discovered that Taeil hadn't lived in London long, moving here in the summer from a small town to help further his career. There wasn't as much insurance fraud in the countryside.   
  
He was also shocked to find out that Taeil was in a band, or had been before he moved. He played guitar and sang and was looking for some new people to play with in the city. It helped him relax; a way to let his creative side show outside of his somewhat stifling job.   
  
Taeil was fascinating, and a few shots later Taeyong found himself asking for the elder’s number.   
  
"Here, take your son." Taeyong cracked an eye open as Taeil re-entered the room, holding a giggling Mark at arm’s length. "I need to change. He's pissed all over me."  
  
Taeyong laughed under his breath as he took the one-year-old, laying him on his chest as Taeil went to get changed. He had hoped this was where the two of them would end up after that night of rose tequila and sharing stories, even if it did seem like a far-fetched dream as Taeyong texted the man the next morning, chewing on his bottom lip. But Taeil replied. They went on a date. And then another. And another.   
  
And the rest was history.   
  
Taeil proposed on their two year anniversary and eleven months later they were married. It had been almost two years now since they tied the knot, and they had the most perfect little baby in the meantime.   
  
But...their family wasn't complete. Not yet.   
  
Taeyong desperately wanted another baby. He had been wanting one for a while, loving the idea of Mark's little brother or sister being so close to him in age. But they had been trying for about ten months now. It just didn't seem to be happening.   
  
Mark came along a lot earlier than planned. They wanted to wait about a year after the wedding until they started trying, but of course, if anyone was going to get knocked up on their wedding night it would be Taeyong.   
  
And now he had one he wanted more.   
  
"Did you piss all over Appa?" Taeyong giggled as Mark tried to crawl up his chest, stubby little fingers grabbing at his Daddy's nose. "You're lucky you're cute, Markie."  
  
"How come he never does that to you?" Taeil whined, drying off his face as he popped out of their en-suite bathroom, after having washed himself up and changing his shirt.   
  
"Cause he loves his Daddy the most, don't you, pumpkin?" Taeyong scooped Mark up under the arms, nuzzling his nose against his babies until he squealed with delight.   
  
Taeil scoffed affectionately as he slid back into bed next to Taeyong and their son. He could watch the two of them together all day.   
  
"Picture time!" Taeyong held Mark up in the air, his chubby little limbs spreading out like a flying squirrel. "Pass my phone."  
  
"Really?" Taeil rolled his eyes. Taeyong absolutely loved a photo opportunity.   
  
"I haven't posted in like three days, people will be wondering where I am."  
  
Taeyong loved posting about his perfect little life online. He loved showing off his beautifully put together house and his gorgeous husband and his precious little baby boy. He loved that people seemed to look up to him, that they liked seeing the houses he decorated and when he shared his recipes or tips about looking after a toddler. He had gained a pretty big following over the years, and he had to maintain that perfect image.   
  
And a cute morning bed picture was always a winner.   
  
"Pretend you're asleep."  
  
Taeil sighed, settling down onto the pillow and shutting his eyes. It was easier just to go along with whatever Taeyong wanted. He had to admit that the pictures looked amazing once Taeyong was done editing them. And he guessed it meant they had hundreds of family pictures with Mark.   
  
Taeyong held his phone up above his head, turning to his giggling baby with a wide smile on his face. He loved these two people more than anything in the world, and he wanted everyone to know what they meant to him.   
  
"You can wake up now." Taeyong was done with his mini photoshoot, flicking through the images on his phone, looking for the perfect one. They were all pretty cute; Mark was in them after all. "Taeil?"  
  
He looked over at his husband; Taeil looked so peaceful, lashes fanned out against his cheekbones, lips slightly parted. Adorable.   
  
"I think Appa's fallen asleep." Taeyong whispered, as he pulled Mark close to him, making sure the one-year-old didn't poke his father in the eye or something and disturb him. Mark simply babbled to himself in response, trying to repeat Taeyong’s words. He was growing up so fast, he'd be properly walking and talking before Taeyong knew it. Running around the garden screaming. He was looking forward to it, but he was going to miss his tiny baby at the same time.   
  
"Should we go get you some breakfast?" He was met with a wide mouthed yawn from the little boy, making him chuckle. Maybe they could both do with a bit of extra sleep. It was Saturday after all; they deserved some time to relax.   
  
"Or we could just stay here and cuddle with Appa."  
  
  
  
༓࿇༓  
  
  
  
"I think we should hire someone else."  
  
"What?" Johnny gaped as Ten spoke up. They had been wandering around this haberdashery for what felt like forever, searching for the perfect shade of burgundy fabric for a client’s logo. Sometimes handmade, photographed things looked so much better than digital. "But you don't like anyone else."  
  
Ten shot his best friend a sideways look. Asshole.   
  
"I'm trying to be practical. You realise how long you're going to be on your own after the little cookie comes along?"  
  
"...Cookie?"  
  
"Yeah! That's how big it is right now. Isn't that crazy?   
  
"But...cookies are all different sizes. They're as big or as small as you make them."  
  
Ten narrowed his eyes. That was a good point but who did Johnny think he was arguing with a pregnant person?   
  
"Shut up. Kun keeps referring to it as a peach but you know how I feel about fruit so I'm referring to it as stuff I like from now on." Ten brushed his fingers against a roll of fabric before flinching away. He had no idea why he did that considering he knew fine well he hated the feel of suede. "We need to plan ahead, though. I'm going to be out almost a year. You can't do everything on your own."  
  
"I'll be fine. I like that it's just us two."  
  
Ten sighed. And Johnny said he was stubborn.   
  
"Our business is never going to grow if we don't hire more people. We're doing really well and can definitely afford someone else on the payroll. Don't you want to expand?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but... I don't like the idea of someone replacing you."  
  
"Please." Ten scoffed. "As if anyone could replace me."  
  
Johnny rolled his eyes, that was definitely true. No one would ever be able to fill Ten's tiny little shoes.   
  
"But we definitely need someone else. We'll find someone really good, I promise."  
  
That's how Johnny found himself sat opposite a tall blonde with fluffy hair and gigantic eyes. He didn't like being the interviewer, it felt weird, like the wasn't worthy of deciding someone else's fate. He didn't like judging people.   
  
Ten, however, was in his element.   
  
"So, your portfolio's pretty good but do you have any actual experience in the graphic design industry?"  
  
"I made social media business cards for a bunch of my friends! But...I mainly just have my university work, since I just graduated."  
  
Ten hummed to himself. He was hoping for someone a little less...new. They didn't really have time to train anyone up, especially not when Johnny was going to be on his own.   
  
"I did a placement while I was there, though. They said I did a really good job and they'd totally give me a reference! I put their email address on my CV."  
  
Johnny couldn't help but smile. This kid was cute. He was passionate and clearly cared a lot about his work. Just because he was new to this didn't mean he wasn't good. Everyone had to start somewhere, right?   
  
"We'll make sure to contact them." Johnny ignored the way Ten kicked him under the table. He liked this guy. He seemed like someone he'd get along with, and that's what he was looking for. He needed someone to fill the Ten shaped hole while he was away on maternity leave. He needed someone he could talk to, not someone boring.   
  
"Yeah, sure. Whatever. We'll be in contact." Ten smiled that one fake smile he usually kept reserved for the annoying trust fund kids that expected them to help advertise their photography exhibitions for free, which were usually just an excuse to show off all the pictures they took of orphaned kids they happened upon in Namibia during their gap year travelling around the world. They'd try to pass them off as highlighting the plight of kids living in third world countries, but Ten knew fine well it was just a chance to play the white saviour. "Nice to meet you, Xuxi."  
  
"It was nice to meet you too! I look forward to working with you both!"  
  
"Presumptuous." Ten muttered under his breath as Xuxi clicked the door to their office shut behind him.   
  
"I think we should hire him."  
  
"I hope you're taking the piss."  
  
"No! I liked him! He's fun."  
  
"You think he's hot."  
  
"I don't! I mean, he is, but that's not why. I want someone I actually like and can talk to while you're away. Do you have any idea how bored I'm going to be?"   
  
"Poor baby." Ten pouted, leaning back in his chair, hand resting over the swell of his stomach. "Do you really think he's gonna be any good, though?"  
  
"Did you see his portfolio? He fits right in with our aesthetic."  
  
"I can't believe you just used that word."  
  
"You know what I mean!" Johnny rested his head on the younger's shoulder. "Please?"  
  
"I guess we could give him a chance." Ten knew fine well that Johnny just didn't want to interview anyone else; he just hoped to god they wouldn't end up regretting this. "But if he sucks and we have to fire him, then you can do it."  
  
  
  
༓࿇༓  
  
  
  
"I hate this."  
  
"I think you look cute."  
  
"It’s Halloween, I'm not meant to look cute. I'm meant to look sexy."  
  
"Don't you mean scary?"  
  
"No, I mean sexy, Kun." Ten folded his arms across his chest in a huff. This pregnancy thing was starting to become a bit of a ballache. He had been planning his Halloween costume since last year. He was going to be a playboy bunny. He'd bought himself an absolutely stunning corset and everything and he'd even ordered custom made hip pads to give him more of a feminine figure. And don't get him started on the shoes. They'd had them for months, hadn't taken them out of the box because he was saving them for his favourite night if the year but now everything was ruined.   
  
He couldn't squeeze into his outfit because of his stupid pregnant belly.   
  
"This is our first Halloween together and you don't even get to experience it properly! You have no idea what a slut I am at this time of year. It's not fair." Ten absolutely loved Halloween. He loved having an excuse to prance around in barely anything and end up on his knees in front of some buff topless guy that had painted himself red in a half arsed attempt to dress up as the devil. But he loved it. He loved it so much. And, sure, he was in a relationship now, but he wanted to give his boyfriend the full Halloween whore experience.   
  
But instead he looked ridiculous. And he couldn't even drink. What was the point?   
  
"Well, you can be a slut when we get home. We can leave early, if you want."  
  
Ten scoffed. "There is absolutely no way you're fucking me looking like this."  
  
Ten stuck his nose in the air, stopping in the middle of the street. They were on their way to Taeyong’s for a party, and it had taken all of Kun’s power to even drag Ten out of the house. Now, he was struggling to get him to the front door.   
  
"We'll shower when we get in. Wash off...all of the green."  
  
Ten narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. How the fuck he had managed to talk Ten into this was beyond him.   
  
"Think about how excited Mark will be when he sees us!"  
  
"I absolutely hate you, you know that, right?"  
  
"Yeah well, you're stuck with me now." Kun shrugged, lacing his fingers with Ten's as he urged the younger to follow him. They were literally just outside of Taeyong and Taeil's place. "We'll be married and onto kid number two before you know it."  
  
Ten stopped in his tracks again, making Kun sigh. What now?   
  
"D-Do you mean that?"  
  
Kun turned, eyebrows furrowing as he looked back at his boyfriend.   
  
"You...You want to marry me?"  
  
"Well...yeah." Kun cocked his head to the side. "Of course I do."  
  
Ten breathed out a wow. He...He never thought anyone would want to marry him. He wasn't the marrying type. He was throwing a tantrum over the fact he couldn't whore it up and get drunk on Halloween for God's sake... 

Sure, he was pregnant, and he loved Kun, he really did, but part of him felt like this probably wouldn't be forever. That Kun would get sick of him and he and the baby would be left alone, just going to visit their Baba every weekend.    
  
But...Kun wanted to marry him?   
  
"You seriously want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life?"   
  
"I mean, I kind of already am..." Kun smirked, hand resting gently on Ten's bump.    
  
"Yeah well, that's your fault for not pulling out in time."   
  
"I'd say it's your fault for having an ass so good I couldn't help but come in it." Kun quipped back, making Ten snort. "But seriously, I don't want to be _stuck_ with you. I want to _be_ with you. I want you to be mine. Forever."   
  
Ten's heart skipped a beat as Kun got down on one knee. Was this real? It couldn't be, surely. There was no way Kun was actually proposing to him. This must be a hidden camera prank or something.    
  
"Ten...Chittaphon. Yongqin." Kun laughed softly under his breath at the ridiculous amount of names his boyfriend had as he stared up at him. "I know we haven't been together that long, or even known each other that long but I am so fucking in love with you and our little Chipmunk."   
  
Ten giggled at the ever changing pet name for their baby, that's how big it was now, but he had a feeling that one was going to stick. Chipmunk.    
  
"I want to be with you the rest of my life, and not because I have to. Because I'm crazy about you. I've never been this happy, and I don't ever want it to end, so... Ten, and I don't have a ring or anything, not yet, but...will you marry me?"   
  
Ten's jaw hung open. Was...Was Kun being serious right now? Like, he had seen this coming from the little speech and the fact he was down on one knee but actually hearing those four words was... Fuck.    
  
Someone actually wanted to marry him?    
  
He tried to respond by he couldn't quite get his words out; they were stuck at the back of his throat as he welled up. So he simply nodded instead, unable to do much else.    
  
Kun’s arms were wrapped around him in an instant. This was so surreal. Ten... Ten never thought he'd get this. The happy ending. Never thought anyone would love him to the point of proposing. Sure, he'd had long term relationships in the past, but they never really felt like they were going anywhere. Those guys didn't want to spend their lives with him; they just wanted some fun and didn't want anyone else to get their hands on him.    
  
But Kun was different. Kun was _so_ different. It had only been a matter of months, but no one had ever made Ten feel so special, so important, so loved.    
  
Which was why he hugged him back. His fiancé. That's why he sobbed into Kun’s shoulder, not wanting to let go because holy fuck he loved this man so much. This dumb man that had gotten him knocked up and forced him to go to a Halloween party dressed as a little green monster. The one who had proposed to him in his own blue and purple fluffy monster costume. The one he was going to spend the rest of his life with.    
  
"Of course I'll marry you." He whispered into Kun’s neck as his voice finally came back. "I wanna be your wife so bad."   
  
Kun giggled as he pulled back; palms holding onto the younger's cheeks as he thumbed the tears away from his eyes. "Mrs Qian?"   
  
Ten bit down on his bottom lip. He knew that wouldn't be his actual title, but fuck it sounded cute. Ten Qian... He loved it.    
  
"Mrs Qian." He nodded, just before Kun planted a big wet kiss on his lips. This was probably the most ridiculous engagement he could think of, but so far nothing about his and Kun’s relationship had been typical. That was boring anyway. He much preferred out of the ordinary.    
  
"You wanna go in?"   
  
Ten nodded again, he figured this had made up for the fact he was dressed like an idiot, even though he was pretty sure he had cried most of his face paint off.    
  
"I'm sorry you don't have a ring, but I'll get one, I promise." Kun swung their intertwined fingers as they walked up the path together, before pressing the doorbell.    
  
"It's okay, I don't need one."   
  
"You can't tell anyone until you have a ring though." Kun pouted as Ten looked back at him in disbelief. There was absolutely no way he was going to make it through this party without telling the whole world. "At least let me improvise, okay? You need something on your finger."   
  
Ten furrowed his eyebrows, what the hell was he going to come up with? But, he agreed anyway. Kun seemed so excited he didn't want to take that away from him.    
  
"Oh my god, Markie, look!" The two of them were greeted by Taeyong in a cowboy costume; a little Buzz Lightyear that even Ten had to admit was adorable. "It's Mike and Sully from Monsters Inc!"   
  
Ten rolled his eyes at the sheer absurdity of his costume. Who the fuck even had a Disney themed Halloween party? Stupid Taeyong. And of course Kun thought it would be hilarious for the pregnant mess to stretch a giant eye printed on a tight tee over his big pregnant belly and be a little round green monster. He hated his boyfriend - _fiancé_ \- so much.    
  
"Hi Mark!" Kun grinned at the one year old in his father's arms as he giggled at the big fluffy monster. "He looks so cute."   
  
"So do you two, come on in." Taeyong stepped aside, eyebrows furrowing a little as he noticed how streaky Ten's face paint was. "You okay?"   
  
"Yeah just...being a hormonal mess. The usual." Ten laughed to himself. God he wanted to tell Taeyong so bad but...he told Kun he'd keep it a secret. For now.    
  
Thankfully though, he didn't have to for long.    
  
"Come here." Kun stretched his hand out, stood in front of the spread Taeyong had laid out on his and Taeil’s dining table. Ten couldn't help but smile. Please say Kun had found something. "Hand."   
  
Ten offered up his left hand, giggling to himself as his brand new fiancé produced one of those little Haribo jelly rings from behind his back. Okay, so that was adorable? And totally fitting for Halloween.    
  
"Really?"   
  
"It's the best I could do on such short notice." Kun splayed Ten's digits out, pushing the ring onto his fourth finger. It wasn't ideal, but it would do for now. At least he had something to show off... "There we go. You're officially mine."   
  
"You're so dumb."   
  
"And you're perfect."    
  
"I fucking love you."   
  
"I fucking love you more."   
  
Ten let out a muffled laugh as Kun kissed him, right there in front of everyone. They were getting some pretty weird looks, considering they'd only just arrived, hadn't said hi to a single person and now they were making out in the middle of the dining room but Ten couldn't care less. This was his moment. His moment with his brand new fiancé.    
  
"Oh, hi Ten, hi Kun, nice to see you too."    
  
Ten pulled back from his fiancé as he heard Johnny scoff beside him. Oh god! Of course he was going to tell his best friend in the world first!    
  
"We're a little busy here." Ten quirked an eyebrow as he looked Johnny up and down. He had come as the Mad Hatter so Ten could only hope that Jaehyun would be somewhere in a baby blue dress. He wrapped his arms around Kun’s shoulders, waving his hand a little in the hope that Johnny would get the hint.    
  
But he didn't.    
  
"Right in front of the food, though? Like you could have just made a beeline straight for the spare bedroom."   
  
Ten cleared his throat, eyes darting to his hand. Johnny could be really fucking dumb sometimes.    
  
"What's wrong? You're not getting sick are you?"   
  
Kun laughed under his breath, forehead falling against Ten's shoulder. "I think you're just gonna have to tell him, babe."   
  
"Tell me wh-"   
  
"Oh my god." Kun and Ten both looked over Johnny’s shoulder where Jaehyun was stood (dressed as the Cheshire Cat, actually, not Alice), mouth agape. Well at least someone had noticed. "Is that...wait." He leaned in a little closer, eyes squinted. "Oh god it's just a sweet. I thought you guys were engaged or something."    
  
Jaehyun laughed at the idea. Ten? Engaged? Never.    
  
"We are."   
  
Wait. What?   
  
"...What?" Taeyong came over to join them, popping Mark down on the floor, Taeil not far behind.    
  
Ten couldn't help but burst into a wide smile. Everyone was looking at them like they were crazy, but he didn't care. This was the happiest he'd ever been.    
  
"We are! He proposed before! We're getting married!"   
  
"Oh my god..." Taeyong stared at the two of them, eyes wide. "C-Congratulations!" This was the last thing he ever expected from Ten, but- "I-I'd open a bottle of champagne or something, but-"   
  
"Well everyone else can drink." Ten giggled with a shrug. Even being denied alcohol couldn't make him whine. Not tonight. "I'll just have an orange juice or something."   
  
Taeyong clapped his hands together, dragging Taeil off behind him to go get the good stuff. They hadn't had a reason to celebrate for ages. Holy fuck. Ten was seriously getting married? Maybe the baby shower Taeyong was throwing him could double as an engagement party.    
  
"Oh my god!" Kun flinched as Johnny screamed. It had only just hit him what they said. Ten was- his best friend was getting married. "I'm so happy for you two! This is so exciting! Please tell me I'm going to be best man because I have so much embarrassing material for a speech."   
  
"Best man?" Ten scoffed. Please. As if he was going to wear a suit to his wedding. "I think you mean maid of honour. I'm gonna have the biggest, poofiest white dress you've ever seen!"   
  
"Oh yeah, cause you're definitely a virgin." Johnny nodded towards Ten's stomach. Even if he wasn't pregnant he wasn't sure many people would believe that. "So, you're finally going to make an honest woman out of him?"   
  
Kun beamed as Johnny nudged him with his elbow. "Something like that. We're gonna be a proper little family, aren't we?"   
  
"So, when's the wedding?" Taeil re-joined them, handing Johnny and Kun a champagne flute each, before giving Ten his own orange juice filled one.    
  
"Not anytime soon." The two of them replied in sync before bursting into laughter. They were so in tune with one another it was adorable.    
  
"I haven't even gotten him a proper ring yet."   
  
"And there is no way I'm getting married looking like this. I'm not walking down the aisle looking like a whale."   
  
"Plus, we need to save for the little one." Kun placed his hand over Ten's stomach. Their baby was more important than a big party. That could wait.    
  
"Yeah...we don't need to rush things. You're stuck with me forever anyway."   
  
"Who said romance was dead?" Taeyong whispered under his breath, bringing the rest of the champagne flutes with him, handing one to his husband before looking around. "Where did Jae go?"   
  
Jaehyun took a deep breath as his back hit the wall. It was cold, way colder than it usually was in October and he was in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of shorts but he didn't care. He just needed to get out of there. He needed the fresh air.    
  
He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to stop himself from crying. Why was he even crying anyway? Why did he feel so weird about all of this? He should be happy for Kun and Ten. They would be happy for him if he was the one getting engaged.    
  
But he wasn’t...because Johnny still hadn't asked him.    
  
Kun and Ten had been together, what, six months? Six months and they were moving into a nice house and getting engaged and they had a baby on the way.    
  
Johnny and Jaehyun had been together six years. _Years_. And he didn't have any of that.    
  
He felt awful, he really did. He shouldn't be getting jealous of his friends, of one of his best friends. But he couldn't help it. That's what he wanted. And he wanted it so bad.    
  
He wanted to marry the love of his life. He wanted to be Jaehyun Seo. He wanted a little baby that was half him and half the man he loved. He wanted them to move into a gorgeous family home where they'd raise their kids for the next twenty-something years.    
  
But he didn't have any of that.    
  
And he was worried he'd never have any of that.    
  
Because maybe Johnny didn't love him that much after all...    
  
How the fuck was Ten - Ten who absolutely hated the idea of being tied down just a few months ago - how was Ten getting married and he wasn't? How was Kun so madly in love after six months that he felt the need to propose? Why didn't Johnny feel like that about him?   
  
Johnny kept saying it was going to happen...but when? Jaehyun was starting to lose hope. He was staring to worry it would never happen.    
  
What was wrong with him? Why didn't Johnny want to marry him? They were meant to be in love and-   
  
He exhaled through his nose. No. They were in love. Johnny loved him more than anything he had made that clear over the years. He was just being an emotional mess for some reason. A jealous emotional mess. He should be inside congratulating his friends instead of staying out here crying like some spoiled brat because he didn't get what he wanted.    
  
His emotions were all over the place recently and he didn't know why.    
  
But he didn't like it.    
  
He dried his face off, hoping to god it wasn't obvious that he was so upset. The last thing he wanted was to rain on Ten and Kun’s parade.    
  
"Congratulations!" He opened his arms out, inviting Ten into a big hug. He was literally glowing. Domestic life really suited him. "I can't believe you're getting married!"   
  
"I can't believe someone would actually want to marry me." Ten scoffed into Jaehyun's chest. This was kind of crazy.   
  
"Don't be stupid, anyone would be lucky to have you." Jaehyun pressed a soft kiss to Ten's hair as the elder snuggled into him. "You three are gonna be so happy together."   
  
Ten smiled against Jaehyun's t-shirt, arms wrapping around his waist. He was going to start crying again if his friends didn't stop being so damn sweet.    
  
"Thanks, Jae. That means a lot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder why Jaehyun could be getting so emotional 🤔
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!!


	5. cannibalism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aknskaks the chapter title tho 
> 
> Introducing a new character!!!! I hope u love him as much as I do!!
> 
> TW/ antenatal depression :(

Ten looked over himself in the mirror. He was so...big. Bigger than usual. Most people thought he was closer to twenty weeks than fifteen. His doctor had made a joke about the size of his bump, about how he might be having twins. 

He didn't find it funny. At all. 

What if he was and they just hadn't picked up on it? He couldn't fucking cope with two kids. Jesus. 

"Babe!"

Ten groaned, grabbing an oversized sweater and throwing it on in an attempt to hide what an absolute whale he had become. Pregnancy fucking sucked. He missed smoking. He missed tequila. He missed sushi. He even missed goats cheese and he didn't particularly like it. 

"Come on, we need to get going."

Ten sighed, following Kun downstairs. They were going to their first antenatal class. And Ten was absolutely dreading it. He didn't really want to sit in a room full of pregnant people, but Kun insisted it was a good idea. He was only trying to look out for him, Ten knew that. 

He had been feeling a little lonely lately, being the only pregnant one of the gang. It was kind of isolating. He couldn't do anything fun, he was always tired and his fucking nipples had started leaking. He didn't even realise that was a thing. 

It sucked, really. He didn't have anyone who understood what he was going though, apart from Taeyong who had already done all of this, but... Well, while he would consider Taeyong one of this closest friends, the two of them had a slightly strained relationship. Ten knew fine well it was because they hooked up in uni one time and Taeyong, being ever so prim and proper now, was absolutely terrified Ten would tell his husband. But Ten would never. Not that it was a big deal - he wasn't sure why Taeyong couldn't just tell Taeil, it's not like they were in love, they fucked a couple of times out of pure boredom, that was all. But he would never drop Taeyong in the shit like that. He did actually like him - even if he was annoying and judgemental and he had a weird kid. 

But he wanted someone who was pregnant _now. _He wanted someone he could do boring pregnant people things with in the hope they'd be a little more exciting with someone else by his side. 

But he didn't know any pregnant people. So, unfortunately, that meant he had to socialise. 

"I hope we meet some nice couples, it'll be nice for you to have someone else who understands what you're going through."

"Hope they're not all old and boring." Ten huffed as they pulled up. Something told him he wasn't going to find anyone he'd get along with here. 

He followed Kun into the room, eyes lighting up as he saw a table full of snacks. No one told him there would be doughnuts! Perfect! They had been his biggest craving throughout his pregnancy, he usually preferred them paired with a drizzling of English mustard, but just plain old glazed would do him too. 

"Thought that would cheer you up." Kun giggled as Ten sunk his teeth into one of the doughy rings, passing him another one. Kun knew fine well it wasn't for him; he simply had to hold it until Ten wanted it later on so he didn't look greedy taking two. 

"You're not calling me fat, are you?"

"Never. I value my testicles too much."

Ten's lips quirked up, before leaning in to press them to Kun’s, the elder licking sugar off of his Cupids bow as Ten pulled back with a 'good answer.'

"Let's go get a seat." Kun linked his fingers with Ten's, guiding the younger over to a couple of spare chairs in the semi-circle they were laid out in. Ten inwardly groaned at the fact they were in the middle. Even though he was here to socialise, he had kind of hoped he wouldn't have to sit next to anyone. 

But of course he wasn't that lucky. 

"Hi!"

And of course he'd end up next to someone that wanted to talk to him. 

"I'm Jungwoo! What's your name?"

"Ten." He replied, eyes flickering up to the boy beside him, a forced smile on his lips. 

"Nice to meet you! It's my first time here; I'm a little nervous, sorry." Jungwoo giggled to himself anxiously, legs swinging in the chair he was sat in. "My husband should be here but now but I guess he's running a little late. God I hope he hurries up."

Jungwoo bit down on his bottom lip, this guy seemed just as scared as Ten was. He looked so young. And he was married too? Damn. People moved quick these days - says him, currently knocked up by, engaged to and living with someone he's been with a matter of months. 

"I'm sure he will be. You'll be fine."

"I really hope so; everyone here looks like they know what they're doing... It's a little intimidating. I'm glad you sat next to me, everyone else here looks old enough to be my parents."

Ten scoffed, finally glancing around the room. Jungwoo wasn't wrong, actually. Everyone else here looked like they had their shit together - in their mid-thirties, married with planned pregnancies. And then there was him and Kun. Just...trying their best to stay afloat. 

"Well, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Trust me."

"When are you due?"

"April."

"Oh me too! The nineteenth!"

"Really?" Ten furrowed his eyebrows. That was his due date too. Exactly. "Same."

"No way! That's so cool! Our babies are gonna be like twins!"

Ten smiled. This kid was kind of cute. Maybe this wasn't such a stupid idea after all. He may have even made a friend...for this session, at least. Maybe he'd never see Jungwoo again, but it was nice to talk to someone who was in the same situation as him. Or similar, at least. Jungwoo knew what it was like to get knocked up, though. That was exactly what Ten needed in his life. 

"Yeah, I guess they are."

"Okay, everyone! Let's get started!" A lady stood up in front of the class, clapping her hands together. Ten felt Jungwoo shift beside him, a soft whimper escaping his lips. He was staring at the door, then back to the empty seat beside him, clearly looking for his husband. 

"Hey, it’ll be okay." Ten felt a little bad for this kid, he looked so nervous here all on his own. He had no idea what state he'd be in if Kun wasn't here with him. Who was he kidding? He wouldn't even have left the house if Kun hadn't made him. He'd be at home being anti-social, watching Derry Girls and eating pretzels. "We'll keep you company."

"Yeah! You can join in with us if you need a partner." Kun leaned forward so he could see Jungwoo himself. "If they even do stuff like that...they do in the movies."

"That's Kun." Ten nodded towards the elder. "My idiot fiancé."

Kun smiled a 'hi', making Jungwoo giggle. These two were cute. He liked them. 

"Well, I’d introduce you to my Doie, but he isn't here." Jungwoo fought the urge to roll his eyes. He knew Doyoung was busy, but...it wasn't like this was the first thing he had missed. Jungwoo had to go to his first midwives appointment on his own because his husband couldn't get out of work. "If he turns up half way through though, you won't be able to miss him. He's one of those people that un-ironically carries a briefcase." 

Ten laughed under his breath. Jungwoo seemed nice, he almost...liked him. He had been desperate to find a pregnant friend so that he didn't feel so completely and utterly alone and, maybe he'd found him. He could feel the weight lifting off of his shoulders a little. 

"Well, if he can't make it don't worry. Kun can step in for today, right, baby?" Kun shot Jungwoo a thumbs up, clearly happy to help out. "Since our babies _are _going to be twins and everything."

༓࿇༓

Jungwoo felt...weird. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he just felt...off. The air felt different, thicker lately. He was finding it harder to breathe and he wasn't quite sure why. 

It always seemed to get worse when he walked past his and Doyoung's spare room. 

Jungwoo absolutely adored their home. It was way bigger than anything he'd ever dreamed of living in. They had two living rooms, for God's sake. He honestly wasn't sure why, but he loved that he got to decorate twice. He loved that Doyoung pretty much let him take control of all of the decorating after they moved in. Jungwoo had spent months picking out curtain patterns and naming sure every single scatter cushion was absolutely perfect. Every room felt like a proper little home. 

Apart from one. 

They had three spare bedrooms - one a guest bedroom, while another served as Doyoung's office when he had to work from home. The final was empty at the moment, and it was going to be their nursery. It was meant to be a happy place; warm and cosy, filled with love, the perfect room for their little bundle of joy. 

But...every time Jungwoo walked past it, it filled him with dread. 

There was going to be a real life baby living in there in just a matter of months. _His _real life baby who he would have to look after and be responsible for. His baby who would rely on him for _everything. _Who without him would _literally_ die. 

And that was a lot of pressure. 

A lot of pressure he wasn't sure he was ready for. 

He didn't know why he felt like this all of a sudden. He had been over the moon when he fell pregnant. He and Doyoung had been trying since they got married about six months ago, and it finally happened. He finally got to pee on that stick and it came back positive. 

Jungwoo couldn't have been happier, he had always wanted kids, and it didn't faze him at all that he was only twenty-three. He was going to be an amazing dad, he just knew it. He was going to give this baby his absolute all because he had fell in love with it the minute he saw those two pink parallel lines. 

Or at least that's what he had thought. Why did he feel so different now?

He had everything he had ever wanted. A husband that absolutely adored him with an amazing house and job which meant Jungwoo didn't have to go back to work after the baby was born. 

Although...he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He had worked so hard on his engineering degree. Four years all for nothing. Well, maybe not nothing, that was how he met Doyoung, after all, while he was on his placement at a civil engineering company. And Doyoung was by far the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

But he wasn't sure he wanted to give up on his dream for a baby... At first he thought it had sounded like an amazing idea. Staying home with his son or daughter, raising what was going to be the world’s cutest baby considering it was half of him and half of Doyoung. He had been looking forward to all of that - making homemade baby food and watching him or her grow, not missing a single second because he was stuck at work. 

But for some reason it now terrified him. 

Just him and the baby. Alone. All day every day. 

What if the kid didn't like him? What if they grew to resent him because he was so overbearing and suffocating? He knew that was a long way off - the teenage years - but it still scared him. Thinking about the future scared him. A lot. 

And right now the near future was scaring him the most. 

A few weeks ago he had been happier than he could ever remember being in the past. He had this gorgeous house and this amazing husband that was ready to give him the world and an adorable little baby on the way that they had made together. He felt like his life finally had direction - and he loved the direction it was going in. 

But now...everything was different. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't like it. Everything just felt so...grey. So heavy. Like he couldn't get all of these negative thoughts out of his head and he wasn't even sure where they came from. But they scared him. Really scared him. 

He couldn't pinpoint where he was coming from, it was like he just woke up one morning feeling like absolute shit and he couldn't seem to shake it. At first he had put it down to hormones, assuming he'd feel better a little later that afternoon, or in a couple of days or maybe even a week. 

But he didn't. This feeling of just...doom wouldn't seem to shift and he had no idea why. 

He had been really struggling more and more the past few weeks, as everything became more real. As his bump grew so did his anxiety. It was much more prominent now, there was no hiding it any longer, and he kind of hated it. 

It was different before, when only his close friends knew, when people at work didn't know. When it was something he and Doyoung could keep to themselves, but now people were staring. They knew and...He didn't like it. At all. 

He had been finding it harder to get out of bed in the morning, knowing every time he woke up he was one step closer to becoming a parent. He had been avoiding buying any of the things the need, despite Doyoung insisting they needed to start preparing because he...he was scared he wouldn't be able to return them and then that would be a huge waste of money because...

And he felt terrible for even thinking it - even more terrible than he did to start with. 

But, he wasn't sure he wanted this baby anymore. 

He wasn't sure he could do it. 

Jungwoo's breath shuddered as he sat himself down in the empty room. It seemed so cold. So uninviting. Nurseries weren't meant to feel like this but...it seemed apt. Kind of represented how he felt or something just as melodramatic. 

He just couldn't imagine it - this place being filled to the brim with cuddly toys and tiny baby clothes. He couldn't imagine the walls painted pastel or a crib in the corner. And he definitely couldn’t imagine a cooing baby in that crib. 

And that upset him for some reason. 

He hated himself for thinking this way. For even considering half of the thoughts that were going through his mind. Surely that in itself was proof enough that he was going to be an awful parent. Who the fuck even thought of... _that_. 

He didn't deserve this baby. 

And the baby definitely didn't deserve to be raised by someone like him. 

His eyes flickered up to the paint swatches on the far wall. He had bought the tins samples of paint the week he had found out he was pregnant after spending hours scrolling through Pinterest, looking for inspiration for the perfect nursery. He had been so excited. He wished he still felt like that...he missed it. But he just couldn't bring him to do it anymore. 

He was good at pretending to be excited, terrified anyone would catch on, that anyone would find out the options he was considering. He was fifteen weeks gone; he couldn't do that...could he? He still had time, but...Doyoung was so excited. So were his parents. Everyone knew, he could just...get rid of it, could he. 

He wished things were different. He wished _he _was different. He wished he was more like that guy he'd met at his antenatal class. They had the exact same due date, how weird was that? But Ten looked so...happy, and the fake smile Jungwoo had plastered to his face the whole time couldn't compete with that. 

He was sat there all on his own, and Ten and his boyfriend (Kun, was it?) had tried to include him in their discussions but it just felt weird. It made him smile a little, genuinely this time, because Ten was the first pregnant person he'd really spoken to, and it seemed to relax him a little. Made him feel a tiny bit less alone - Ten had even given him his number, so he hoped that maybe they could meet up again or something. If he could bring himself to leave the house, that was. 

Jungwoo felt the tears prick at his eyes as he played with the fibres of the carpet. That was as far as they had gotten with planning the nursery once Jungwoo’s excitement fizzled out into nothingness. He was so sick of feeling like this. So sick of crying. He just wanted it all to go away but he wasn't sure how. 

Well, there was one thing he could think of. 

But he wasn't even sure he could go through with that. He couldn't wait for his baby to get here a few months ago, he wished he could go back to that instead of resenting the poor thing before he or she was even born. 

But the pressure wouldn't let up. He felt like he was trapped, unable to escape and it just kept piling on top of him and he really didn't know what to do about it. He felt like he couldn't even talk to anyone because they'd think he was an absolutely awful person. Completely unfit to raise a baby if he was even thinking of terminating it. 

But what other choice did he have? He couldn't do this for another twenty five weeks. That was six whole months. 

He couldn't feel like this for another half a year. 

He had no fucking idea how he was going to break the news to Doyoung, but he couldn't carry on like this. 

He had to get rid of it. 

༓࿇༓

"Look!"

Johnny flinched as Jaehyun thrust the crook of his elbow in his face, showing off the tiny circular plaster on his inner elbow. He suppressed the urge to gag. If there was one thing Johnny didn't do, it was needles. In fact, anything medical freaked him out. And his parents wanted him to become a doctor. Hilarious. 

"What's that? Have you been to the doctors?"

"Nah, it was just at work." Jaehyun grabbed a cushion from behind him, placing it on his lap, waiting for Johnny to bring his dinner in. He loved eating in the living room - because they were both lazy and loved watching quiz shows during dinner - but it was kind of awkward considering they didn't even have a coffee table or anything. "Our new client is like raising awareness of getting checked out regularly and stuff so I thought why not? Saves me booking an appointment."

Johnny hummed to himself, popping Jaehyun’s plate of spaghetti down on the cushion. 

"What if they're just vampires trying to harvest a load of blood?"

Jaehyun turned, staring back at Johnny, an eyebrow quirked. "You're ridiculous."

"It could happen! You never know, Jae. Remember when you never used to be believe in ghosts then we went to that hotel in the countryside and the door kept opening and then you heard-"

"Okay, stop." Jaehyun held his hand up, not wanting to hear anymore. He still wasn't quite sure he believed in ghosts, but that place _seriously _gave him the creeps. "That's totally different. Ghosts are plausible." 

"So are vampires. You hear of people drinking blood all the time."

"Those are cannibals, not vampires."

Johnny gasped softly, eyes widening. "What if they were-"

"Don't! Don't say it!"

"A cannibal could be drinking your blood right now. What if they get a taste for it? They know where you work."

"Johnny!" Jaehyun nudged his boyfriend with his elbow, right in the ribs. Johnny knew he hated stuff like that. Horror movies and serial killers, why would he even say that? He very highly doubted it was true, but...it still scared him a little. "Stop it."

"I'm sorry." Johnny smirked, pulling Jaehyun into a one-armed hug, careful not to spill any of his Bolognese sauce on the sofa. Though, it was leather, and it had seen a lot worse so it wouldn't be the end of the world. "You know I'd protect you if a cannibal came to eat you."

"I'd tell him to take you instead. You're bigger anyway." Jaehyun nuzzled into Johnny’s shoulder, not really caring that he was in an even more uncomfortable eating position now. He was kind of full anyway. "More meat."

"Thanks, babe." Johnny scoffed, slurping up a mouthful of spaghetti right next to Jaehyun’s ear, knowing how much his boyfriend hatred exaggerated eating noises. ASMR? No thanks. "I love you too."

"I know you do, I'm pretty great. Can we put the decorations up this weekend?" Jaehyun swiftly changed the subject. Cannibals were the last thing he wanted to think of while eating. He much preferred Christmas, and it was coming up fast. 

"It's November."

"The _twenty-second. _Christmas is like, a month away. I like when the place looks all festive." Jaehyun absolutely _loved _Christmas. He loved the cheesy movies and the smell of cinnamon and the twinkling lights and the wrapping up in fluffy blankets and- He just loved it! Everything about Christmas made him happy. He loved that the shops and the streets were all lit up and sparkly and he wanted their little flat to be the same. "Plus, we're looking after Mark on Sunday and I think he'd like it." 

"Okay, fine! I'll get the tree out of the attic later. You can have your little winter wonderland."

"We should make shortbread with him! Or- Or little decorations for his own Christmas tree back home. Then again, I dunno what colour scheme Taeyong is going for, he might not like it. But we can do something Christmassy with him, it'll be fun!"

Johnny knew how much Jaehyun loved Mark. It was like having his own little baby that he got to play with and cuddle, but then could hand back at the end of the day when he inevitably began to get fussy and miss his parents. And he knew he couldn't wait to look after Ten and Kun's baby once he or she finally got here. Being the fun uncles suited them much better than being actual fathers. 

"That _does _sound kind of fun, I guess. We can go get some arts and crafts stuff tomorrow. I have the day off; we're leaving Xuxi in charge of the office for the first time."

Jaehyun’s eyebrows shot up under his fringe. Christ. That was a shock. He couldn't believe Ten would even allow anyone else to think of taking control of his baby (his work baby, not the unborn foetus he was currently carrying, obviously). He would absolutely kill Jaehyun if he said it aloud, but he honestly didn't think he and Taeyong were that dissimilar. They both loved being in control and hated not getting their own way. He honestly couldn't wait until Ten’s kid was born and he could say 'I told you so' when he no doubt turned into Taeyong completely. 

"He must be pretty good then."

"Yeah, he’s great. He has a real eye for colour and he's amazing at saying no to people? Like I always freak out when a client asks for something totally ridiculous and usually have to hide behind Ten, but he just doesn't care. Now I can hide behind Xuxi instead, and it won't look as ridiculous because he's not 5'6"."

"As long as you're getting more time off, then I'm happy." Jaehyun had been a little hesitant when Johnny said he and Ten were going to try and set up their own design company, because he knew how much time and effort it would take. If he went to work for an already established firm then he could concentrate on creating art, he wouldn’t have to worry about accountancy and payroll and all of that admin shit. He would have other people that coped with that. He would be able to have weekends off and a stable 9-5 routine instead of working around the clock because the two of them were stretched so thin. Jaehyun was worried it would be far too much pressure and that it would drive them apart. But after almost four years things were finally falling into place. They were finally on a steady income and had a solid client base. Their little company had even won an award for one of their editorial pieces, and Jaehyun couldn't have been prouder of the two of them at the ceremony. And now they'd hired someone else. They were being sought out by so many new clients they were having to turn people away. Jaehyun was sure it wouldn't be long until they added a fourth to their little dream team. 

"Maybe we could even start going on dates again." Jaehyun mused to himself, prodding at his spaghetti with a fork. That had been something that they'd kind of forgotten about: dating. They were both usually so tired of a weekend, and it was a rarity when Johnny didn't have to work seven days a week. They spent as much time as they could together at night, but they never really did anything anymore. "I miss...doing stuff with you."

"I know babe, I miss it too. Sorry that work's been so hectic and taken up so much of my time, but hopefully things are going to be different now. We probably won't need to even work many weekends now we have a third person to help with the workload. I'll take you out every single weekend, if you want. Remember how good I am at romancing?"

Jaehyun felt his cheeks heat up, as if he could forget. For his twenty-first birthday Johnny had sent him on a scavenger hunt around their university campus, each clue took him to a place where one of their friends was waiting, each with a little gift. It was exhausting, and really fucking cold trailing around in the middle of February, but it was so worth it when Jaehyun showed up to the last location; the dark room. 

Jaehyun wasn't even a photography student but he had always loved dark rooms. He wasn't quite sure why, but he loved the smell of the chemicals and the lighting made him feel like he was in a movie. It just felt really...romantic to him. 

Which was why Johnny had hired the room out for the afternoon, much to a bunch of disgruntled photography students dismay. He had bought a load of Jaehyun’s favourite snacks and a couple of beers and they had themselves the world’s weirdest picnic followed by hushed sex up against the red-tinged wall. But Jaehyun loved every second of it. He was pretty sure Johnny could take him to share a can of warm cider behind the cafeteria bins and he'd still be happy, to be honest. Just being with Johnny made him happy. 

But the romantic gestures were sweet too, he couldn't deny that. 

"If you start sweeping me off my feet again, I'm going to start expecting it. You know how high maintenance I can get." Jaehyun smirked, teasing his boyfriend. 

But Johnny didn't care. He'd take high maintenance if it meant he got to see Jaehyun break out into that one smile he always tried to cover with his hands because he thought it was embarrassing how many teeth he was showing off. The one that only Johnny seemed to be able to get out of him. 

He leaned in, catching Jaehyun’s lips in a soft kiss. 

"Then I guess I better get my thinking cap on."

༓࿇༓

"Taeil! Hurry up!"

Taeil sighed as he tucked Mark into his cot. He hadn't long drifted off, and Taeil had been hoping for some cuddles with his little boy tonight, but Taeyong had other plans. 

He made sure the baby monitor was on before closing the door softly behind him. 

"I'm coming!"

Taeil unbuttoned his shirt as he made his way to the bedroom, knowing exactly what Taeyong wanted from him, and knowing it was best not to waste any more time. If he wanted to avoid getting told off. 

"I want to get two rounds in tonight." Taeyong was laid naked on their bed, a pillow under his ass to angle his hips off of the mattress. 

"Yes, Sir." Taeil whispered under his breath, shimmying out of his clothes. Gone were the nights of tender love making. It was all about the baby making now. That was the only thing on Taeyong’s mind. 

"This is the last night we have...then we'll have to wait til next month." Taeyong sighed. He had been monitoring his fertility window obsessively, because they were beginning to run out of time. They were going to give it til the end of the year, if Taeyong wasn't pregnant by then; they were going to look into other options. 

But Taeyong didn't want that. He wanted to get pregnant again, and he was terrified it wasn't going to happen for him. 

"Babe, you know what the doctor said. You need to relax." Taeyong was so uptight all the time, so determined for this to work. Taeil was beginning to think it was having a negative impact on his body. They got pregnant with Mark because they weren't even trying, now they were it just didn't seem to be working. 

"I _am_ relaxed; I’m lying down, aren't I?" Taeyong knew he was anything but. He was so scared they he wouldn't be able to have another baby and he didn't understand why. What was wrong with him? "Can we just...do this?"

"Do this?" Taeil scoffed. Who said romance was dead? "Am I at least allowed to kiss you?"

"O-Of course." Taeyong knew he was being a bit of a nightmare, that he was making this seem like a chore, but he was just- He was so desperate to have another baby and he didn't want to waste this opportunity. "You know I love you, right?"

"I know."

"And I'm sorry I haven't...really shown that lately, I just-"

"Hey," Taeil crawled closer to his husband as Taeyong began to tear up, "don't cry."

"I'm just scared. What if I can't... What if-"

"Don't think like that, okay? We said we'll give it until the end of the year and then we'll see if we need to go for treatment, yeah?"

Taeyong nodded. He knew that was what they had agreed on, but...he wanted to get pregnant naturally, without any help. Like a normal person. He knew it was stupid to think, offensive even, because there were plenty of people who couldn't conceive or needed help, but...he didn't want to be one of those people. He wasn't meant to be one of those people. 

It made him feel like a failure, and that wasn't something Taeyong was used to. 

Taeil couldn't conceive, that was something he had known since he was a teenager, so it all fell onto Taeyong. He _had _to be able to have another baby. He just had to. 

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising, you've done nothing wrong." Taeil leaned in to kiss his husband on the forehead. He knew Taeyong always felt the need to excel, to be the best at everything. And it was killing him that his body wouldn't do this one thing. But...it might not even be Taeyong. Maybe it was Taeil. They weren't sure yet. They hadn't seen a specialist yet, but Taeil was worrying they might have to. It was already mid-November. "Whatever happens we'll be fine, okay?"

Taeyong nodded again. He wanted to believe that, he really did. He had the most amazing, supportive husband he could ask for and a beautiful, healthy baby boy. He should be happy with what he had - he _was _happy with what he had. He had just always seen himself with a bigger family. 

"Come here." Taeil pulled him into a hug, allowing Taeyong to sob quietly into the crook of his neck. They may have been together for almost five years, but Taeyong still hated crying in front of him. "I love you so much."

Taeyong curled into his husband, fingertips pawing at his chest pathetically. It was going to be okay. He just kept having to tell himself that it was going to be okay. 

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!!


	6. baby boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter with some actual development aaaaaah  
also I'm v sure this is not how doctors would do things aksnka but,,,,plot

"Well?"

Xuxi practically jumped out of his chair the moment Ten walked through the door, almost causing the elder to spill his coffee.

"Jesus, Xuxi. Give me a heart attack why don't you?"

"Sorry, I just need to know!"

Ten scoffed. He had known the boy for all of four weeks and he was already more invested in Ten's pregnancy than Ten was himself. It was kind of cute, actually. Xuxi was only twenty-two but he absolutely loved kids. He was nowhere near ready to have his own, having only just left university and started his first proper job. That...and he was single. But he was more than happy to live vicariously through his boss.

"I saw this really cute little dress I didn't want to buy it just in case so I _ need _to know!"

Ten smiled into his decaf Americano. Adorable.

"Buy it, just because the baby has a tiny little penis doesn't mean he can't wear dresses."

"It's a boy?!"

Ten nodded, trying to hide the smile on his lips.

He had been really struggling the past few weeks. He had decided that pregnancy wasn't for him and that there was absolutely no way he was going to go through it again. He was only eighteen weeks gone and he already felt like a blimp. And it would only get _ worse? _Jesus Christ. He was absolutely dreading it.

He was so sick of being tired and his emotions changing at the drop of a hat. And he was always fucking horny. _ Always. _Which wasn't the end of the world, but when he was talking to important clients and couldn't stop squirming in his seat because all he could think about was bouncing on Kun’s dick, his boyfriend sucking on his nipples, nails digging into his back as Kun’s cock pounded into his prostate over and over and-

Now he had a semi. Fantastic.

He was reaching the end of his tether, just wanted it to be over, even though he knew he was nowhere near the finish line.

But that all changed this afternoon.

He had taken some time off so he and Kun could go to his second scan - to find out the gender of their baby.

Kun said he didn't care either way, so long as they were healthy, but Ten had his hopes set on a girl. He wanted someone he could dress up and buy a whole mountain of adorable little bows for and oh god she could dance when she was a little older! She would be _ so _fucking cute.

Which is why Ten was surprised when the scan said he was expecting a boy. Surprised because...he was happy. He was fully expecting himself to throw a tantrum _ 'throw the whole baby away we'll start again I don't want this one'. _ But he was over the moon. He was having a little boy. A little boy whose head was fully formed, well, kind of, it looked like a head, anyway. A little boy with fingers and ears and even a tiny little penis and Ten was absolutely overjoyed because that little boy was his. _ His. _ He and Kun had made him all on their own and he was going to be _ the _cutest boy in the world. He'd run circles around Mark Lee!

And Ten couldn't wait to meet him.

"Do you have a picture?"

"Hm?" Ten was pulled from his disgustingly soppy thoughts as Xuxi spoke up, Ten hadn't even realised he had rolled over in his chair. "Oh! Yeah, here!"

"Oh my god." Xuxi's eyes lit up as he looked at the scan. Ten felt this weird sense of pride blooming in his chest. "Look at his little hands! Bet you can’t wait to hold them!"

Ten beamed back. He couldn't believe how excited he actually was. _ Him. _Excited to have a baby. He had never expected to find himself in this position, and he had definitely never expected to enjoy it. But he was. He loved his baby so much already and he couldn't wait to hold him in his arms.

"Stop it, you'll make me cry."

"You better bring him to the office _ all _the time."

Ten scoffed. "So you'll have an excuse not to do any work? I've seen how excited you get around kids toys." It was just last week when the two of them had gone shopping for a very specific shade of watercolour when Xuxi had gotten distracted in the kids aisle playing with a baby's first phone toy. All the flashing lights and noises were just so captivating! He couldn't help himself!

"I'll be like your in-work nanny." Xuxi genuinely couldn't wait to meet the baby. He absolutely adored kids and more than happy to look after Ten's son while he and Johnny were busy. "I'll be his cool Uncle Xuxi."

Ten rolled his eyes. If he didn't find it so adorable he'd think it was a little weird how excited Xuxi was for a baby he barely even knew the parents of. But he didn't care. He was just as excited himself.

"Are you busy right now?"

"Not really." Xuxi shrugged, handing Ten the copy of the scan back. "I finished up the branding for that new cafe, I just need Johnny to approve it and send it off."

Ten hummed, Johnny wouldn't be back for a while. There was no point in them just sitting around here doing nothing...

"Wanna go shopping? I saw these adorable little baby converse and _ I know _he won't be able to walk for ages, but-"

"Oh my god _ yes!" _ That was way more exciting than reorganising his files, even though he desperately needed to. He really needed to start giving his Photoshop files real, identifiable names instead of copy_of_logo_lol_idk8.psd. But he could do that another day. "I found this boutique the other day when I was wandering around Shoreditch looking for a liquid for my electric cigarette and you're going to _ love it." _

༓࿇༓

"So, have you had your second scan yet?"

Jungwoo decided to take a sip of his smoothie in lieu of actually answering. He and Ten had just finished a maternity yoga class, and actually, it was kind of nice. It made Jungwoo feel less alone, the fact there was another pregnant person that actually wanted to hang out with him. And being in the presence of so many other expectant parents, it almost made him smile.

Though...it scared him too. He was surrounded by people who _ wanted _their babies. He had no idea whether he did. He just couldn't seem to get his head straight. Couldn't decide what he wanted.

"Not yet."

"Really?" Ten quirked an eyebrow, he had booked his appointment the moment his midwife had mentioned the idea of finding out the sexual of their baby.

"Doie's just been really busy; we haven't had time to go."

Ten twisted his nose a little. He had never actually met Jungwoo’s husband, but he got the feeling he wasn't all that involved. He always seemed to be busy. He would actually kill Kun if he didn't make time for his appointments.

"I can go with you if he can't make it. Just so you're not alone. If you want me to, anyway."

"You'd do that for me?" Jungwoo’s voice was small, in disbelief that anyone would give up their time for him, never mind someone he didn't even know that well. Ten was willing to go to his scan with him and Doyoung wasn't...what was he meant to make of that?

"Sure! I wouldn't want to go on my own, so...if you want me to I'll come along and hold your hand."

Jungwoo laughed softly under his breath. That was a nice gesture and everything, but he really wasn't sure he even wanted to go for the scan, worried that if he saw the baby he wouldn't be able to go through having an abortion, and then he'd be stuck with a baby he didn't want or love. He couldn't do that to him or her. It would be better just to terminate the pregnancy than being a baby up he resented.

"I'll think about it. But thank you."

"I'm having a boy."

Jungwoo eyes widened slightly as Ten blurted out the sex of his baby.

"Sorry! I just- I can't help but tell everyone." Ten laughed sheepishly to himself. "I always thought I wanted a girl, but... I don't even care. Maybe he'll not give a fuck about gender like me when he grows up - it's not like I'm gonna force him to fit any stereotypes." Ten scoffed. The very idea of _ him _of all people not allowing his kid to explore their gender. "But, like, I'm having a little boy and he barely even looks human but I love him so much already, you know?"

Jungwoo swallowed thickly. Because no. He didn't know. He couldn't understand that at all. How could he love someone he'd never even met? How could he feel anything like that when all he wanted to do was cry because he couldn't stand the thought of this baby growing inside of him?

"Imagine if you had a boy too! Then they really would be twins! We can buy them matching outfits and pretend they are and-"

Ten stopped his rambling as he heard a soft sniffle.

Was Jungwoo crying?

"Are you okay?" Ten leaned forwards a little as Jungwoo hung his head in a weak attempt to hide the fact he was sobbing quietly to himself. "Sorry. I know I'm going on and you haven't even had your second scan yet. I'm being insensitive."

Jungwoo shook his head. Ten had done nothing wrong. In fact, he was doing everything right. He was doing everything an expectant parent should. He was excited about his new arrival and he already loved his baby. That's how Jungwoo was meant to feel.

He just. Didn't.

"It's not you." Jungwoo wiped his face with the back of his hand. "It's me, I-"

He wasn't sure he could say it aloud.

"I don't think I can do this."

Ten's eyebrows furrowed. What was Jungwoo talking about?

"Do what?"

Jungwoo shook his head. He shouldn't have said anything. Ten was going to think he was an awful person. He was so in love with his baby and- He was going to hate Jungwoo. The only person he had really made friends with throughout this whole thing and he was going to lose him.

"Jungwoo? You can talk to me."

"I'm scared...you're gonna judge me and then- I'll not have- I won't have anyone."

Ten's chest tighTened. What was going on here? What was Jungwoo talking about? Why wouldn't he have anyone? Had he and his husband broken up or something? Was that why Doyoung hadn't been to Jungwoo’s scans? Had he left him to deal with this on his own?

"Hey." Ten shuffled his chair around the table so he could get closer to Jungwoo. "What's going on? Just tell me, I'm not going to judge you."

But Jungwoo just shook his head again. He couldn't say it aloud because then it would be real and- He still didn't know what he wanted. He was running out of time and had to make up his mind soon, but... He was just so scared.

Ten was beginning to get worried. Really worried. What could possibly have Jungwoo so upset? Was it worse than he had thought? What if... No. he couldn't just jump to the worst possible conclusion... But- Why had Jungwoo said he'd be alone? What did he think Ten was going to judge him for?

"Jungwoo? Is everything okay at home? You know, with Doyoung?"

"Hm?" Jungwoo looked up at Ten, eyes red and puffy. "Y-Yeah. Why?"

"I'm just worried about you. You're so upset and- I just need to make sure... You said you wouldn't have anyone. Has something happened between you two?"

"Oh!" Did Ten think he and Doyoung had broken up? "Oh no, we're fine. It's not that. It's me. He- He hasn't done anything wrong."

"Then why are you so upset, sweetie?" Ten thumbed away a tear from Jungwoo’s cheek. "Or is it just those dumb pregnancy hormones? The other day I cried because my regular manicurist was on holiday and someone else had to do my nails."

Jungwoo laughed softly. He wished it was that. But it wasn't. He knew it wasn't. At first he thought he'd just get over feeling down after a few days. That it really was just the hormones and he'd go back to his happy go lucky self.

But it didn't happen. Every day he felt worse.

And every day he resented the baby growing inside of him more and more.

"So you can open up to me, I get it, you know?"

"You don't." Jungwoo choked back a sob. "You don't get it at all. You- You're so happy and you love y-"

Jungwoo stopped himself. He wanted to talk to someone, to get it all off of his chest, but... It was so difficult. Especially admitting that to Ten.

"I don't think I can do this."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want, I just- I don't like seeing you upset."

"No, I mean _ this." _Jungwoo motioned go his stomach, making Ten's eyes widen. "I can't- It's just-"

"Oh my god." Ten whispered, arms wrapping around Jungwoo’s shoulders as the younger broke down, sobbing into the crook of Ten's neck. "Hey, shhh. It's okay."

"It's not! It's literally anything but okay. I don't know what to do!"

Ten rocked Jungwoo back and forth, not entirely sure what to say. He didn't even know what Jungwoo was getting at. What couldn’t he do? Have the baby?

"Have you spoken to anyone about this?"

Jungwoo shook his head against Ten's shoulder. "I can't. I'm scared. People are gonna- The thoughts I've been having-"

"A-About what, Woo?"

"About-" Jungwoo’s voice was so quiet Ten could barely hear him. He was clearly terrified to say it aloud. "I can't do this for another five months. I don't- I don't want it. I need to get rid of it."

Ten's stomach twisted at how scared Jungwoo sounded. How fragile. He had no idea what was going on in his head, but he had to help him. He didn't quite know how, but he did.

"I was freaked out too, to start with. I never planned on having kids, not yet anyway. So when I found out I wanted that too." Ten rubbed small circles into Jungwoo’s back, hoping to calm him down a little. "But things changed and now I couldn't be happier I didn't go through with it. Things will get better."

"What if they don't?" Jungwoo pulled back, looking Ten in the eyes. He had already opened up; he might as well keep going. It's not like he had anyone else to talk to. "I don't love this baby, I- I _ hate _ it." He whispered the word hate because he felt awful even thinking it, never mind saying it. The baby hadn't done anything wrong. It hadn't asked to be conceived. "Every day I wake up feeling worse and it's because- Because it's getting closer to this- This thing and I don't want it. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep feeling like this."

Ten took Jungwoo’s hands in his own as he began to well up again. The sheer anguish in his face was...this was really killing him, wasn't it?

"I'm meant to be happy and excited and I'm not I'm just- I feel like shit all the time and...I just feel like this is it. For the next eighteen years this is how I'm going to feel. Stuck with a kid I don't want, but I don't know if I can-"

"Y-You could always put it up for adoption, if you feel like you can't go through with a termination."

Jungwoo scoffed. That definitely wasn't an option.

"Doyoung wouldn't be okay with that. He's already so excited."

"Well, it's your body. He can't force you to have a baby."

"It isn't like that, he wouldn’t." At least Jungwoo hoped he wouldn't. "He would do anything for me... And when I fell pregnant we were both so happy. Like, this was what we wanted. A little baby we made together! I was so excited to begin with."

"So what changed?"

"I don't know." Jungwoo’s eyes were glassy as they locked with Ten's. "One day I just stopped being happy, and I've been miserable ever since. I can't bring myself to look at baby clothes or buy anything. I feel sick whenever Doyoung touches...it. The bump. I just- I feel so bad for even considering it but I hate feeling like this. I don't know what else to do."

"Oh honey." Ten wiped Jungwoo’s tears away again. He would go get some napkins or something but he didn't want to leave the younger alone for a second. "And you haven't talked to anyone else about this? Not even your midwife?"

"I- I'm scared they're gonna think I'm a bad person. What kind of parent am I going to be if I'm even thinking of getting an abortion? What if I tell her and I change my mind and then they take the baby off of me because I was thinking of- What if...she tells Doyoung?"

Ten sighed to himself. When he first met his own midwife they had spoken about antenatal depression. It was something Ten had never heard of, he thought that only came after the baby was born, but after seeing Ten's medical record and how he had struggled with his mental health when he was younger it was something they talked about in length.

He wasn't an expert or anything, but maybe that's what Jungwoo was going through.

"I think you should tell her. She's there to help you through this, Jungwoo. She isn't going to judge you. Mental health problems during pregnancy are very common."

"Do- Do you think that's what it is?"

"I dunno, I'm not a doctor, but... You said you were really happy to begin with, right? And then it all just changed? Maybe you have some kind of pregnancy induced depression. I think you need to talk to a professional, though. Don't deal with this on your own."

"Y-You really think they'll understand?"

"I think feeling like this is probably more common than you think, sweetie. I know you feel very alone right now, like no one knows what you're going through. But I'm sure there are plenty of expectant parents who had felt the same. You're not a bad person."

Jungwoo sniffled. Maybe he should have opened up sooner. Getting everything off of his chest and Ten's words of encouragement made him feel a tiny bit better. A little lighter.

"I think you need help. Someone to talk to...and maybe you should start with your husband."

Jungwoo’s eyes widened. He couldn't- He couldn't tell Doyoung. It would break his heart.

"But- He-"

"If he loves you, he'll understand." Ten squeezed Jungwoo’s hand a little tighter. He may not have known the younger all that long, but he hated seeing him like this. "You can't do this alone. Just talk to him."

༓࿇༓

Johnny stretched his back out, vision spotting as blood rushed to his brain. He'd been hunched over his tablet for so long everything hurt. He should really get up and stretch his legs once in a while, but when he was in the zone he didn't like to break his concentration. But he was finally finished. Or, at least this one project was finished. He had a meeting with a brand new client later on, and he was kind of dreading it.

"Anyone hungry?"

"Always!" Ten groaned, throwing a paintbrush down on his desk. He had been waiting forever for someone to ask, sick of being the fat pregnant bitch that was always whining about being hungry. "Me and Chipmunk are craving Mexican."

Johnny scoffed under his breath. Chipmunk. Ten was really going out of his way to compare his baby to anything but fruit. He had moved onto cute, fluffy mammals as of late but clearly chipmunk had stuck.

"You definitely don't look like you're carrying a chipmunk."

"Yeah. Apparently I'm having a giant baby." Ten rolled his eyes. According to google his baby should be about the size of a mango, but of course his was way bigger. Just his luck. Jungwoo was nowhere near as big as he was.

"I could go for a burrito." Xuxi took his oversized headphones off at the sound of food being mentioned. He ate just as much as he and didn't even have the excuse of being pregnant. He just really loved food. "Just give me a second, I'm nearly finished."

"Can we get a taxi?"

"No, you're walking." Johnny had been personally asked by Kun to try and keep Ten active, the younger had been trying his hardest to get out of walking or doing anything for himself, claiming it was far too much effort. But Ten was just being lazy. "You could do with some fresh air."

Ten rolled his eyes. Johnny always said that. What was the point in being pregnant if people weren't going to fawn over you?

"Uncle Johnny's so mean, isn't he?" Ten rubbed his stomach, giggling softly as his baby kicked him in response. Kun was adamant he knew their voices. "I give you permission to throw up on him as many times as you want once you're born. He deserves it."

"You're such an-" Johnny was cut off as his phone began to ring. Jaehyun. Weird. He never rang him at work, always far too busy with his own projects. "Hey, babe."

_ "H-Hey, are you busy?" _

"Not really, we were just gonna go get some food. Why? You okay?"

_ "Uh...I- You know that blood test I had?" _

"Yeah."

_ "Well, I just got a call and...They want me to go in and talk about my results." _

Johnny's heart dropped. What did that mean? That couldn’t be good, right? They wouldn't want Jaehyun to come in if everything was okay.

"Why? What's wrong?"

_ "I dunno, they said it's nothing serious just that- I dunno, Johnny, but I'm freaking out. Can you come with me?" _

"Of course I will, you want me to come pick you up?"

_ "Please." _

"I'll come now, I won't be long, Jae."

_ "Thanks." _ Johnny heard Jaehyun hesitate down the phone. He was really freaked out about this, wasn't he? _ "I love you." _

"Love you too, baby."

Johnny sighed as he hung up. Fuck.

"I'm gonna bail on food."

"Is Jaehyun okay?" Ten's eyebrows furrowed, not that he had been eavesdropping or anything, but he'd totally be eavesdropping.

"Uh...Yeah, fine." Johnny lied, not actually knowing. But he sincerely hoped so. He just didn't want to worry Ten. "He just wants me to take him to the doctors."

"Oh." Ten wasn't convinced, but he didn't want to pry for once. He loved being at the centre of all drama, but this sounded serious and he would never invade his friends privacy when medicine was involved. "If you're sure."

"I am, don't worry. I'll be back later."

"You don't have to, just..." Ten didn't want to assume the worst but he also didn't want Johnny to feel like he had to rush back if Jaehyun needed him. "Me and Xuxi will be fine on our own, right?"

"Yeah, totally! Go be with Jaehyun."

Johnny whispered out a thanks, grabbing his jacket and car keys before sprinting downstairs. He wanted to try and be positive, hoping to god everything was okay, but he couldn't help but worry. Jaehyun was his world. His everything. Why would they be calling him in if there was nothing wrong? It must be something pretty serious, right?

But he tried to keep those thoughts to himself as Jaehyun slipped into the passenger seat. He tried to keep calm as they drove to the doctor’s surgery. And he tried to stop himself from gripping too hard onto Jaehyun’s hand as the two of them sat in the waiting room. He didn't want to stress Jaehyun out any more by letting on how worried he was. He had to try and be positive.

"Mr Jung?"

Jaehyun took a deep breath as his name was called, as he followed the doctor down the hall into a private room. He was absolutely terrified, his heart rate through the roof, palms sweating. He was seriously ill, wasn't he? He had leukaemia or diabetes or something. He was going to die. This was it. He was only twenty-four and he was terminally ill.

"Don't look so scared, Mr Jung." The doctor smiled as he and Johnny sat down. "You're perfectly healthy."

"Oh, thank god." Jaehyun felt like he could finally breathe. He was fine! He wasn't sick! He wasn't going to die! But...then why had they called him in. "What's wrong with me?"

"You're pregnant."

"I- What?"

"Four weeks." The doctor smiled even wider. It wasn't often she got to give good news. But...Jaehyun didn't look too impressed. He looked just as terrified as when he had entered the room.

"I- I can't be." Jaehyun let out a nervous laugh, squeezing at Johnny's hand, but too scared to actually look up at his boyfriend. "We use protection. Always." _ ...Almost always. _

"Well, that's not always 100% effective, Mr Jung."

"But-"

"Hey, it's okay." Johnny let go of Jaehyun’s hand, just for a second, so he could pull his boyfriend into his side.

"But- This is- This wasn't what we planned."

"I know, but we'll figure it out. I’ve always told you I'm with you no matter what you choose."

"I don't know what I want though, this is- How?"

The doctor cleared her throat, rifling through a pile of leaflets in her desk before handing Jaehyun a few. "You don't have to decide straight away, but I wouldn't suggest not making any rash decisions."

Jaehyun swallowed as he thumbed through the leaflets. Adoption. What to expect when you're expecting. Pregnancy support groups. Abortion. This was all too much for him. He didn't _ want _to have to make a decision. He just wanted for this to never have happened. What was the point in condoms if they didn't even fucking work?

"Can we just go home?" Jaehyun’s voice was smaller than Johnny had ever heard. He was really freaking out about this, wasn't he?

"Sure, baby. Thank you." Johnny turned to the doctor before ushering Jaehyun out. This could have gone a hell of a lot worse. Sure, this wasn't ideal, but Jaehyun was okay. He was healthy and didn't have anything seriously wrong with him. He was just...pregnant.

They drove home in silence, neither of them really knowing what to say. Jaehyun stared down at his own hands, wondering when they'd stop shaking, while Johnny kept his eyes trained on the road.

"You can go back to work if you want."

"I'm not leaving you alone, Jae."

Jaehyun sighed as Johnny made him sit down on the sofa, asking if he wanted any tea made. He didn't but he nodded anyway. He didn't really know what he wanted anymore.

Not this. That much he knew.

He was so fucking scared. He didn't want to have to deal with this; he just wished it had never happened so he wouldn't have to make any decisions. He just wanted to wake up from this fucking nightmare.

Sure, he wanted a baby. One day. In the very distant future. And sure, he had been a little jealous of Ten and the way his life seemed to be progressing much faster than Jaehyun’s was. But now… Now that it was becoming a reality he was-

He was terrified.

"Here you go."

Jaehyun whispered a thanks as he took the cup of tea from Johnny, placing it on the floor to let it cool before glancing up at the elder. Something he _ really _wished he hadn't done. He hadn't looked at Johnny since the doctor had uttered the word 'pregnant' and now he knew why he'd been avoiding him. Because he broke down in tears as soon as his eyes locked on Johnny’s.

"Babe!" Johnny placed his own mug down on the floor, not wanting to accidentally burn his boyfriend before wrapping his arms around him. "Hey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay."

"It's not!" Jaehyun shook his head against Johnny’s chest. Nothing about this was okay. "Why did this have to happen to me? How- How did it?"

"I dunno." Johnny pressed a kiss to Jaehyun’s hair. They were always so careful, always used protection and plenty of lube to make sure the condom didn't split, but maybe one had. Or... He pulled out. Johnny _ always _pulled out.

"This isn't fair." Jaehyun sniffled against Johnny’s shirt. "I don't want to have to choose, I just want it to go away. I just- Why did this have to happen? Everything was going so well, and now..."

Johnny hugged Jaehyun tighter as the blonde broke down again, tears stinging his own eyes. He absolutely hated seeing Jaehyun like this. Jaehyun didn't cry often, but when he did it broke Johnny’s heart.

"Shhh, it's okay. We're going to get through this." Johnny honestly wasn't sure what he wanted either. This was all so sudden. He and Jaehyun had talked about starting a family over and over, but in the future. The distant future. When they were older and more mature. When they had more money and a better place to live. When they had the time to give to a new-born baby. They wanted to be parents one day, but they wanted to be good parents. _ Really _good parents. They wanted their child to be planned and to prepare for what was coming. They didn't want...this.

But, if Jaehyun decided that he did want to keep this baby, then Johnny would be behind him 100%. They'd learn to deal with the situation. They'd learn to cope and do everything in their power to be the best parents ever, even on such short notice.

Johnny would back Jaehyun up no matter what. If he wanted an abortion, then Johnny would hold his hand through the entire process, because if Jaehyun wasn't ready, then he wasn't ready. He would never force his boyfriend to carry a baby he didn't want. Because it was Jaehyun’s body, not Johnny’s.

But, if Jaehyun wanted to carry to full term and put their child up for adoption, Johnny would be there for him too. Admittedly, he would find that the hardest. No doubt he would bond to the baby growing inside of his boyfriend and giving it away would definitely hurt, but Jaehyun was the most important person in his life and he couldn't force him to be a father.

No matter what route Jaehyun chose, Johnny was going to be there for him. He was going to support him and love him and they would deal with the outcome _ together. _

"I told you I'd support you no matter what, and I still mean that. If you don't want this baby, you don't have to. If you do, then we'll find a way to make things work, okay?"

Jaehyun nodded against Johnny’s chest, scared that speaking could set him off crying again. How did he get so lucky? What did he do to deserve someone as caring and compassionate as Johnny?

"I love you so much, Jaehyun, and all I want is for you to be happy."

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around Johnny’s waist, curling into the smallest ball possible. He just needed to be held. He needed Johnny to keep assuring him that everything was going to be okay.

"We're gonna get through this, no matter what." Johnny held back a sniffle; he had to be the strong one here. He had to be strong for Jaehyun. He had to make sure his boyfriend knew he would always support him. That he'd never leave him to deal with something this huge in his own. "Together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!! uwu  



	7. surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back!!! I would like to apologise in advance bc I did try to edit this but I literally cannot keep my eyes open after staying up all night watching the uk election results and crying   
But hopefully u will enjoy! It's a lil angsty sorry!  
TW antenatal depression

"I have a surprise for you."

Jungwoo frowned as Doyoung's fingers wrapped around his wrists. He had just the second walked in the door after a dental appointment it had taken all of his willpower to leave the house to go to. The last thing he wanted was a _surprise. _

"You know how I feel about surprises."

"It's a good one! I promise!" Doyoung tugged at Jungwoo's wrists a little, a gummy grin on his face. A gummy grin that Jungwoo would usually find infectious. But not today. Today he just wanted to curl up in a ball somewhere and maybe cry himself to sleep. "Close your eyes and- Actually, don't close your eyes til we're at the top of the stairs. I don't want you to trip or anything."

Jungwoo followed his husband, this awful sinking feeling in the pit of his stupid swollen stomach. 

"Just a little further." Doyoung guided Jungwoo through their hallway; hands covering the younger's eyes. "Okay! We're here! Open up."

Jungwoo's heart dropped as he realised where they were. In their spare bedroom. What was soon to be their nursery. 

"What do you think?"

Jungwoo's mouth went dry as Doyoung motioned towards the crib in the middle of the room. The crib...for their baby. 

"I- I thought I told you not to buy one yet."

"I know! But it was on offer and it seemed like such a good deal I couldn't resist! It's cute, right?"

"Can't you take it back?"

"Well...why?" Doyoung's eyebrows furrowed. Why on earth would he take it back? "We need one, right?"

"But I don't want it."

"Jungwoo..."

"Can you please just get rid of it?"

Doyoung took a step closer to his husband as Jungwoo's eyes began to fill with tears. Jungwoo had been overly emotional recently, but also incredibly withdrawn. He knew Jungwoo would cry in the bathroom every morning after he woke up, but would brush it off like there was nothing wrong whenever Doyoung would question him about it. He shied away from cuddles and got defensive and changed the subject whenever Doyoung would bring up anything to do with the baby. 

What was going on with him?

"Look, I know you probably had this perfect colour scheme for the nursery in your head, and I'm sorry for buying something without asking if it doesn't match, but it's wooden. We can paint it. It'll be fine."

"No. It _won't _be. It's not-" Jungwoo took a shuddering breath. Why would Doyoung buy that? He had wasted his money because- "What if we don't need it?"

Doyoung moved his lips, trying to formulate a response but not quite knowing what to say. 

"What do you mean?"

"I-" Jungwoo took a deep breath, he felt like he couldn't quite catch it. He just felt so fucking...shit. All the time. He just- He didn't know what he wanted. But it wasn't this. He didn't want to feel like this anymore. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Do what?"

"The baby thing! I just-" Jungwoo hung his head, unable to look Doyoung in the eye. "I don't- I don't want it."

Doyoung swore his heart stopped beating for a second. 

What? Jungwoo didn't want their baby? Since when? He knew Jungwoo had found it a shock to begin with - it was so soon after the wedding. But this was part of their plan. They wanted a family. At least he thought that this was what they wanted. ...What Jungwoo wanted. 

"Wh- What are you saying?"

"I don't know." Jungwoo whispered, because it was true. He didn't. He didn't know what he wanted but he couldn't keep it bottled up any longer. 

"Baby..." Doyoung took another step forward, hands either side of Jungwoo's face, urging the younger to look up at him. His face was red and puffy, eyes bloodshot, and the rings under them... He looked so tired. So unlike the Jungwoo he knew and loved. "Where's this coming from? What's going on?"

"I don't know." Jungwoo repeated the words, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact. "I'm just- I hate everything about...this. I can't- I can't do another five months."

"Why...didn't you tell me this before?" Doyoung felt...empty. Completely empty. Was Jungwoo saying what he thought he was? Was he considering a termination? This far down the line? After all the plans they had made? After Doyoung had fallen in love with this baby he hadn't even met yet? 

"Because I didn't feel like this before."

"Then what's changed?" 

"I just- I don't know, Doyoung! I feel like shit all the fucking time and it's- I don't know how much longer I can carry on because-" He was full on crying now, tears streaming down his face, ugly hiccuppy sobs getting stuck in his throat. "I just feel so alone."

"You know I'm always here."

"You're _not _though. You keep missing things and I-"

"I've apologised for that." Doyoung knew he should have been there for every single scan and appointment, but sometimes it was impossible for him to get out of work. He would absolutely _love _to be there for Jungwoo and the baby, but he didn't always have that choice. 

"I know! It's not your fault I just- I feel like I'm on my own and-" Jungwoo shook his head. "You don't get it."

"Oh." Doyoung's heart sunk. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, you're- You're trying your best. It's me. I'm a fucking mess. Look at me Doyoung. I'm just- I'm not fit to raise a child."

"Hey, that's not true. You're going to be an amazing father."

"I'm not and everyone knows it! You've seen the way people act when they find out I'm pregnant! The way your family look at me. They give me _that look. _The one that says 'Really? They're trusting _him _with a child?' And honestly? It's not surprising, because I think it too!"

"No one thinks that." Doyoung had no idea where this was coming from. Sure, Jungwoo was young, but he'd never heard anyone be anything other than supportive of his husband. Why would he think he wasn't fit to raise a child? "Look, we both have a lot to learn, but it's gonna be fine. We're in this together."

"But I don't know if I want to!" Jungwoo hated this. He hated the way this baby was making him feel. He hated being so down all the fucking time. He hated waking up with an impending sense of doom. He hated not being able to concentrate on his work because all he could think about is what a fucking failure he's going to be. About how much his life is going to suck from here on out. "I just- I hate myself for thinking it, but..."

"Jungwoo, please..."

"This is it- The rest of my life." Jungwoo choked back a sob, eyes finally raising to meet Doyoung's. "I'm going to feel like this for the rest of my life and I don't think I can do that. I- I think I want an abortion."

Doyoung was pretty sure his whole life fell apart there and then. Was Jungwoo being serious? He really wanted to get rid of their baby? 

"Jungwoo...you can't mean that."

"I-I do." This wasn't a decision Jungwoo was taking lightly. He had gone over it and over it in his head the past couple of weeks and- He just couldn't do this anymore. He felt like this baby was killing him. All of his energy was completely drained, he couldn't remember the last time he laughed, his head was constantly pounding. He just felt fucking awful all the time and he couldn't think of any other way to make it stop. "I don't want to be like this anymore."

"Baby..." Doyoung whispered, his own eyes going glassy. This couldn't be happening. They were so happy, weren't they? Doyoung _knew _Jungwoo's smile and the day found out he was pregnant they were happy - he was happy. He was genuinely happy. He couldn't understand what had changed. What had caused him to have such a massive change of heart? What was leading him to even consider doing something so drastic? "Come on, we can talk about this."

"What's there to talk about? I _can't _go on like this, Doyoung. I can't keep pretending I'm happy or excited when I'm anything but. I just- I want this to be over. I've never felt this low in my entire life and-"

Jungwoo stopped as Doyoung pulled him into a hug, as he let himself cry into his husband's shoulder. 

Part of him didn't want to get rid of the baby, because he genuinely was happy before. He had been looking forward to this new chapter of his life and buying cute little clothes and having his very own mini me. 

But then it all changed. It was like this dark storm cloud was looming over him now and it was making everything so fucking hard. 

And he couldn't think of any other way to make it leave. To make the sun shine again. 

Doyoung sniffled as he wrapped his arms around Jungwoo, as the boy he loved cried his heart out, fingers fisted into the back of his shirt, his bump - their baby - pressed between them. 

He knew Jungwoo had been a little down lately, a little withdrawn, but he hadn't realised how bad it had gotten and he hated himself for that. He should have seen the signs. He had read up about antenatal depression, albeit briefly, and it was something he should have paid more attention to. 

Jungwoo was suffering. Really suffering. And Doyoung had to help him. 

"I think we should book an appointment, so you can see someone...to talk to."

Jungwoo simply nodded against Doyoung's shoulder. That seemed like a good idea. He felt a little better after opening up, but...not enough to change his mind. 

"Just, I don't want you to rush into something you might regret before we know what's going on, okay?" Doyoung hoped to god Jungwoo would have a change of heart. He was already so invested in the baby - couldn't wait to meet him or her. But...Jungwoo's mental health was important too. Maybe he just wasn't capable of going through a pregnancy, and Doyoung would never force him, no matter how excited he was to meet his child. 

But he was going to try his hardest to make this all better. To get Jungwoo the help and support he needed to make it to full term so they could hold their baby in their arms. 

It was all going to be okay. He was going to make sure of it. 

"I'll ring your midwife in the morning, okay? Just...try not to think about it until then."

Jungwoo wasn't sure that would be possible, but he wanted to at least try to pretend this wasn't happening. That he wasn't going through this. That he didn't have to choose. That he wasn't breaking Doyoung's heart. 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Doyoung pressed a kiss to his husband's temple. Truth be told, he was terrified at the idea of losing their baby, but he didn't want Jungwoo to catch on. He didn't want the younger feeling guilty on top of everything else. "Let's just focus on getting you better."

☆☆☆

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yes! Just go, Johnny. Ten and Xuxi need you."

Johnny sighed to himself. He'd taken a couple of days off so he could be with Jaehyun, but they were really busy at the moment and he couldn't justify being off any longer. Especially considering he knew Ten would want to know what was going on with Jaehyun, he was one of his best friends, after all. But Johnny had been sworn to secrecy. Jaehyun didn't want anyone to know. Not yet, anyway. Not until he had made up his mind. 

But he was worried about leaving Jaehyun alone. He was still absolutely devastated, not to mention terrified. He wasn't sure he should be on his own right now. 

"I'm sure they can cope another day without me. I could just work from home."

"No, because you'll spend all day fawning over me." Jaehyun knew fine well Johnny wouldn't be able to concentrate with Jaehyun in the next room. He wanted his boyfriend to go to work and hopefully clear his head a little. "I could do with some time on my own, if I'm being honest. I still have a lot to think about."

Johnny chewed on the inside of his lip. He really didn't like the idea of leaving Jaehyun on his own, knowing how caught up in his own thoughts the younger could get. But he did need time to figure this all out. Neither of them wanted to rush into a decision they may live to regret. 

"Okay, I'll be home at lunch to bring you some food."

Jaehyun smiled softly as Johnny pressed a kiss to his forehead. How did he manage to find someone so fucking sweet? 

But now that Johnny was gone Jaehyun wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. He was all alone with his thoughts, and this...thing inside of him. 

His fingers pressed tentatively at his stomach. It was so weird, the idea that there was life growing inside of him. That the bundle of cells mutating in his stomach could be an actual human baby one day. His actual human baby. It actually freaked him out. A lot. 

He'd never really thought about how weird and gross pregnancy was until it happened to him. Sure, he'd been through all of the morning sickness and the swollen ankles and the cramps with Taeyong when he was pregnant, and now he was seeing it with Ten too. But...the actual idea of being pregnant. Of having a baby living and growing inside of you? That was weird as fuck and he had never really thought about it properly until now. 

He groaned to himself, getting up to go into the living room. He didn't really want to think about this anymore. He knew he told Johnny he wanted to be alone with his thoughts, but he didn't. He wanted all of his thoughts to just evaporate. To just leave him so he could have a day where he didn't have to think about this life changing decision he had looming over his head. He just wanted to lie around and watch shitty TV and wallow in his own misery. 

So that's exactly what he was going to do. He was going to slob out on the sofa with a massive bowl of Nesquik and a bottle of full fat coke and watch Location Location Location all day.

Or...something else because that reminded him that they would have to try looking for a bigger place soon if he was going to keep the baby. 

He tried tuning into some daytime quiz show instead. He and Johnny usually got way too competitive when it came to quizzes, so it was kind of nice to watch one on his own for a change. No shouting at the TV. 

That was, until there was a question about how many babies were born in the UK last year. For God's sake. 

So he tried something else, a guilty pleasure of his that he would only ever watch when Johnny wasn't home, knowing his boyfriend would make fun of him. But of course it was the episode where Kourtney gave birth to her first son. And it was _graphic. _

Jaehyun winced, turning the TV off completely. Could he not just have a couple of hours where he didn't have to think about this? He just wanted to chill and pretend that everything was normal. Just for a little bit. 

But that wasn't going to happen, was it? This wasn't just going to go away and he'd have to deal with it sooner or later, so he might as well start now. 

He wished he had someone to talk to. Someone that wasn't Johnny. He totally appreciated how understanding Johnny was being, but he felt like the decision was being left up to him. He loved that Johnny wanted to support him, but...he kind of wished his boyfriend would voice a little More of an opinion. He didn't want it to totally be left up him. 

He had asked Johnny not to tell anyone, specifically Ten, knowing what a big mouth he had. But he kind of wanted to tell someone. He wanted someone to help him though this. 

The only problem was, his best friend was Taeyong. Lee Taeyong; superparent. He was worried Taeyong would judge him even for thinking of having an abortion. But...who else was he meant to talk to? He didn't really have that many close friends other than Taeyong. If he couldn't talk to him about it, then who could he? He was the best man at his and Taeil's wedding for God's sake. 

He was pretty sure Taeyong didn't work Wednesdays. The elder was an interior architect and was only working part time now they had Mark to look after, insistent that he didn't want some random raising his baby. Maybe he should go over there, just to talk, if anything. Even though he had Johnny, he was starting to feel a little lonely in all of this. 

So he jumped in his car and drove to the north of the city, where Taeyong and Taeil lived. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say. Did he want to tell Taeyong what was going on with him? Or did he just want to talk to someone who wasn't Johnny? He wasn't sure, but what he did know, was that he needed to get out of the house. He felt like he was suffocating in their tiny apartment. Maybe looking for a new place wouldn't be the end of the world...

No. They couldn't afford that. They couldn't cope with a mortgage right now. 

Maybe talking to Taeyong wasn't the best idea. His situation was completely different to Jaehyun's. He and Taeil were married before he even got pregnant. They had this beautiful house and well paying jobs and they could give Mark everything he could ever wish for. 

Jaehyun couldn't do that for his baby. He and Johnny weren't in the position to start saving for private school or to go part time at work to look after their son or daughter. He'd never be able to give a kid the life Taeil and Taeyong can give Mark, and he wasn't sure whether that was fair... How could they bring a baby into the world when they were struggling to look after themselves?

He sighed to himself as he pulled up at Taeyong's place, trying to push those thoughts to the back of his mind. God, he hoped Taeyong had been baking or something. He could do with cake, even if it was gluten free. 

He rang the doorbell, smiling to himself as he heard Mark's giggle ring out through the open living room window. Despite being the end of November, it was still pretty warm. Jaehyun was hoping it would get a little colder, though. He loved that chilled-through winter feeling, where the tips of your fingers tingled as soon as you stepped indoors into the warmth and nothing could beat a piping hot cup of coffee. But now his Christmas was kind of going to be ruined...this would be looming over him the whole holiday season. Great. 

"Jaehyun?"

Jaehyun snapped out of his trance as the front door opened to reveal...Taeil? Shouldn't he be at work? 

"Oh, is Taeyong in?"

"No, he had to go to Brighton for some meeting so I swapped my day off. What's up?" 

Jaehyun gave Mark a little wave, the one-year-old was propped up on his father's hip, beaming brightly once he realised his favourite Uncle had come to visit. 

"Oh, it okay, I'll just catch him some other time."

"You sure?" Taeil questioned, head tilting. Jaehyun wouldn't just drive across the city on a whim for a casual chat. He must have wanted to see Taeyong for something specific. "You can come in if you want, you've already drove this far."

"I-" Jaehyun started. He and Taeil weren't actually that close. He liked the guy, liked him a lot. He loved how much he made Taeyong smile, but...they honestly didn't talk that much. Not one on one, anyway. They really only spent time together when Taeyong and Johnny were there too. 

But Mark was making grabby hands at him and how could he say no to that little face? 

"I think Mark wants his Uncle Jaejae." Taeil laughed as the boy squirmed in his arms, desperate to be held by Jaehyun instead. "I'll make you a cup of tea, come in."

Jaehyun giggled along with Mark as they played with a plush lion, Mark's favourite cuddly toy, one Johnny and Jaehyun had bought him for the day he was born. Jaehyun absolutely adored Mark. He was his godson, his best friend's baby boy. 

He remembered how excited he had been when he found out Taeyong was pregnant. How the two of them would spend days perusing baby stores for blankets and the perfect mobile go hang above Mark's crib. How that would always result in Johnny coming home to bags upon bags of baby clothes and toys because Jaehyun just couldn't help but spoil his favourite unborn baby. How he had to step in and take Taeyong to a couple of ante natal classes while Taeil was stuck working overseas. 

They had a lot of fun together. It was probably the most time they'd spent together between university and Mark actually being born. 

Once Taeyong had met Taeil he started spending less time over at Johnny and Jaehyun's place. Maybe he felt like a third wheel, or maybe he felt like more of an adult than the two of them did. Jaehyun was a couple of years younger than Taeyong, and Johnny stayed in university an extra year to complete his Masters. Taeyong on the other hand had landed himself a job in a leading interior design firm and already seemed to be making ripples in the industry. Not that Johnny and Jaehyun would expect any less from someone who graduated with the highest First in their whole university. 

But Taeyong was like a real grown up. He had this amazing job and would be in bed before Ten at night while Johnny and Jaehyun were still eating instant noodles four times a week. 

They only seemed to grow more distant once Taeyong met Taeil. Jaehyun was happy for him, he really was. Taeyong wasn't one to fall for people easily, so when he finally found the man of his dreams in the form of a too insurance fraud investigator Jaehyun was over the moon. 

But Taeil was even more grown up than Taeyong was. He was all suits and Prosecco while he and Johnny were more last weeks unwashed T-shirt and warm Budweiser. Their lives were so different now, Taeyong didn't have time to hang out with a couple of university students now he was going to classy restaurants and jetting off to New York for a long weekend. It made Jaehyun resent Taeil a little, but it was something he tried his hardest to get over because Taeyong deserved to be happy, and he wasn't going to ruin that because he was jealous or whatever. 

But when Taeyong fell pregnant, he needed a friend, and of course Jaehyun was going to be there for him. Obviously, they didn't spend quite as much time together now Taeyong has his little family to look after, but it was definitely better than before. 

And...Maybe they could grow even closer if Jaehyun decided to keep the baby, because he'd need someone to lean on. Someone who has been through all of this before. Someone to help guide him through the hardships of being pregnant. 

Jaehyun sighed to himself. That would be so cute. Him and his best friend doing cute parent stuff together. Taeyong helping him decorate the nursery with his superior design knowledge. It would be the cutest nursery _ever. _And then when the baby got here he or she could be best friends with Mark and they could have little play dates and he and Taeyong could spend _so_ much time together. 

How much fun would that be? 

But... That was stupid, right? He couldn't base this huge life changing decision on the fact he missed his best friend a bit. If anything he should just make more effort to come over for a coffee or to play with Mark. Not have a baby. 

"So, how you doing? Not at work today?"

"Nah." Jaehyun took the mug of tea from Taeil, trying not to wrinkle his nose at how anaemic it looked. Who put milk in tea anyway? "Got the week off."

"Oh, nice. Doing anything special?"

"Just...relaxing." Jaehyun smiled nervously, hoping Taeil wouldn't see straight through him. He had been worrying about telling someone about his predicament...but it certainly wasn't going to be Taeil. 

The two of them sipped their tea, the noises from Mark's toy car the only thing disrupting the awkward silence. Jaehyun really had no idea what to say. He wished he had rang Taeyong in advance, then he would have known the elder wasn't home and he wouldn't be stuck here. 

But...maybe Taeil could help him out. Without even knowing. 

"Have you and Taeyong thought about having another kid?"

Taeil wished he hadn't taken a sip of tea at that except moment, the milky liquid catching in the back of his throat. Where had that come from? 

"Uh...I mean, yeah, in the future. One is enough for now, though." Taeil smiled down at Mark, he would love to be able to give him a sibling, someone to play with. But...that wasn't going as smoothly as they had planned. "Why? Have you and Johnny been talking about starting a family?"

"Wh-" Jaehyun panicked, did Taeil know? As a parent, did he have some kind of sixth sense? "No- I was just...wondering."

"I mean, it would probably be a lot easier the second time around. We'd know what to expect I imagine it would be a lot less stressful."

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun thought Taeyong had the perfect pregnancy, that's how he had portrayed it, anyway. That he breezed through the entire nine months, barely breaking a sweat. He could hardly even imagine Taeyong being stressed. 

"It was just hard you know? Like, we always planned on having kids, but not yet. I mean, he was pregnant within weeks of the wedding, we wanted to wait a year at least."

Oh. Jaehyun didn't know that. Then again, despite he and Taeyong being best friends, the elder didn't often open up to him. Or anyone, apart from Taeil, he imagined. Taeyong was very much a closed book. 

"So, it was kind of a shock, you know?"

Jaehyun did know. All too well. He touched his stomach subconsciously. He always thought Taeyong had everything planned down to a T. He seemed so happy when he broke the news to everyone. 

"Did you ever...consider, like-" Jaehyun felt weird even asking this considering Mark was sat on the floor next to them. "Not going through with it?"

"Like getting a termination?" Taeil eyes widened before flickering down to his son. He couldn't imagine his life without Mark; he was by far the best thing that had ever happened to them. But... "I mean, Yonggie was pretty freaked out at first. We hadn't planned for it to happen so soon and he was worried about his job and stuff."

Taeyong had only been promoted a few months before he fell pregnant. They relied on him a lot more; he had a team to lead and often had to travel out of the city. He was terrified they would think he wasn't capable of doing his job whilst pregnant. Even more terrified that they'd find someone more suitable while he was on maternity leave, that he'd lose his dream job. Taeil was pretty sure that was illegal, that you couldn't fire someone because they were pregnant, but it was something that seriously made Taeyong consider all of their options. 

But...they had always wanted kids. And that unborn baby was _theirs. _Something they had made together. What if it was their only chance? What if their situation change massively, through an accident or god forbid either of them getting sick? What if that baby was their only shot at being parents? They couldn't just throw that away. Taeyong couldn't put his job before that. 

And it was just as well, considering how hard it had been for them trying to conceive a second time. 

"I mean, it was always an option, I'd never force him to carry a child he didn't want, but we didn't consider it for long. We always wanted kids, it just happened sooner than planned and we decided to make the best of an...Unexpected situation."

Jaehyun took another sip of his tea in lieu of having to respond, because he honestly had no idea how to. He was pretty shocked to hear all of this. He didn't like that Taeyong felt like he couldn't talk to him about something so huge, but that was Taeyong all over. He didn't like anyone to see even the slightest glimmer of weakness. 

But it made him feel a little better in a way, the fact that even Taeyong had worried about having a baby. He didn't feel so...alone anymore. He knew Ten had totally freaked out when he found out too. Maybe this was a completely normal reaction. 

"What's with all the questions anyway?"

"Hm? Oh, I just-" fuck. How was he going to get out of this one? "I was just won- For a friend-" Jesus Christ the worst excuse in the book, at least make it a little more believable, Jaehyun. "Just someone at work has gotten knocked up and we were talking about it. She doesn't know anyone with kids, so... Made me think, I guess."

Taeil hummed, eyes trailing down to Jaehyun's hand, still flat against his stomach, only now his thumb was rubbing tiny little circles into his t-shirt. Ah. Okay. 

"Well, I guess everyone freaks out a little." Taeil smiled. Jaehyun clearly didn't want to tell him, so he wasn't going to push. It made sense why he came over to see Taeyong, though. Why he was asking all of these questions. Jaehyun must be pregnant. Surely. "It's definitely a little scary at first, but it was by far the best thing we ever did. I wouldn't trade Mark for the world."

Taeil bent down to scoop his son up, the one-year-old giggling at the sudden attention from his father. He and Taeyong may have struggled to begin with, but Mark was more than worth it. 

"You should tell your friend not to worry too much, that being scared is more than normal. Things tend to work out in the end." Taeil didn't want to sway Jaehyun's decision; he didn't want to guilt Jaehyun into keeping a baby he wasn't ready for. But he had an inkling that Jaehyun was thinking of keeping it, if the way his hand had lay protectively across his stomach for the past fifteen minutes was anything to go by. Whether he realised he was doing it or not. 

"You can always come to either me or Taeyong for advice, you know."

Taeil realised what he had said as Jaehyun snapped his eyes up, eyes wide. Fuck. 

"Like, for your friend, since she doesn't have anyone to ask." Taeil feigned a small smile, hoping Jaehyun wouldn't catch on that he had caught on. He wanted to respect the younger's privacy. "We're more than happy to pass on any tips or whatever."

"Oh, thank you." Jaehyun shifted a little in his seat. God, he thought Taeil had seen right through him for a second there. But he had gotten away with it. Just. "I- I'll see what she decides to do first."

Taeil pressed a soft kiss to the crown of Mark's head. Jaehyun was absolutely terrified, he could sense it. Poor kid. He really hoped he'd spoke to Johnny about this, that he wasn't keeping everything bottled up or trying to cope on his own. 

"I'm sure whatever it is it'll be the right decision for...her. And I hope she has someone there she can talk to. Like a boyfriend or whatever."

"Oh, she does." Jaehyun couldn't help but smile against the rim of his mug, forgetting where he was for a second. Even thinking about Johnny made him break out into that stupid dimpled grin of his. "He's amazing. Trust me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!!


	8. play date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're back!!! this is actually one of my fave chapters so I hope you all enjoy it 💖 it's completely angst free so perfect for after Christmas!!

"We can cancel if you want." Johnny and Jaehyun were getting ready to take Mark out for the day before the one-year-old stayed over at theirs for the night. It was Taeil and Taeyong's two year wedding anniversary and they had planned this months ago, but Johnny wasn't sure it was the best idea. Considering. "We can say I'm sick."

"No! I'm not doing that to them, Johnny. It's not their fault. I can't ruin their anniversary." Jaehyun packed a couple of Marks favourite snacks into a bag, the ones he kept in the house just in case of emergencies, and the ones he knew Johnny liked to eat when he thought Jaehyun wasn't looking because they were so cute and tiny. "Plus, I love spending time with Mark."

"I know, but won't it be weird for you? We've still barely spoken about this."

Jaehyun sighed. It had been a week since he had gotten his blood tests back, meaning he was five weeks pregnant. He still wasn't very far along, but he knew Johnny was starting to get a little antsy over the whole thing. He wasn't pressuring Jaehyun into making a decision or anything, but the suspense was killing him. Jaehyun wished he could just make up his mind, to spare Johnny, if anything. 

"No matter what happens, Mark's always going to be in our life. Ten too."

Johnny had actually completely forgotten his best friend and Kun were joining them. Ten was already twenty weeks gone and was beginning to freak out that he knew nothing about kids. Taeyong had offered for him and Kun to babysit Mark, but he felt like he wasn't ready to do that on his own. He knew Johnny and Jaehyun were good at this stuff and he wanted them to be there. He and Kun had never been left alone with a baby before. What if he dropped him or something? 

"We're gonna have kids in our life no matter what, it's something I need to get used to if I decide to...you know."

Johnny had picked up on the fact that Jaehyun didn't like saying the word abortion aloud. It was like he felt guilty that the baby would hear him or something. 

"Okay, fine." Johnny held his hands up in surrender. Maybe it was for the best if Jaehyun just got on with things. "I'll let Taeyong know we're on our way."

It wasn't long until they found themselves pulling up at Ion Square gardens, the closest park to Ten's house, him in the front with Johnny while Jaehyun and Kun stayed in the back with Mark in his car seat. 

"Is he, like, old enough to be here?" Ten questioned. All the kids here were running around and stuff. Could Mark even walk? He honestly had no idea. 

"Of course he is! You love the park, don't you, baby?" Jaehyun fixed Marks little woolly hat on top of his head before scooping him out of his car seat and into the pushchair Johnny had pulled out of the boot. "Plus, Johnny likes playing on the swings."

"They're fun!" Johnny protested, already a little excited to play in the park himself. He couldn't wait until Mark was old enough to go on the climbing frame and stuff; he'd be right up there with him. Or...maybe he'd be able to do that with his own kid. He shook his head, forcing the thought away. He couldn't think about things like that until Jaehyun had made his mind up. "Here, you can push him."

Johnny handed the stroller over to Ten, who even looked a little apprehensive of that. There were so many...parts. Maybe he shouldn't have worn heels. 

"Okay, you can do this. It's just walking. You know how to walk, Ten." He whispered under his breath, instantly relaxing as Kun's arm draped across his shoulders. Why was he getting himself so worked up about this? They were just walking to the park, Jesus Christ. He was going to have to do a lot more complicated things when his own baby came along. This was nothing. 

"What if the other kids pick on him cause he's so weird?" Ten's eyebrows furrowed as he watched one kid push another one over into the grass. "Can I punch them? You can't arrest a pregnant person, right?"

_"Please_ don't fight any children." Jaehyun shot back, his and Johnny's fingers intertwined as they walked up ahead, giving Ten and Kun some time alone with Mark. 

"I'm totally gonna fight a kid." Ten laughed under his breath, loud enough so that only Kun could hear. "If anyone ever hurts our baby I'll drop kick them. I don't care how old they are."

Kun chuckled to himself, honestly not sure whether Ten was joking or not, but it was cute how much he cared. He'd come such a long way since finding out he was pregnant. He really wanted this baby. 

"Me and Chipmunk will make sure you come visit you in prison." Ten giggled. Chipmunk. That pet name seemed to stick even though their baby was much bigger now. "But something tells me our son will know how to stick up for himself. If he's anything like you, anyway."

"I'm gonna teach him how to drag people as soon as he can talk. I hope his first word is bitch."

"We're going to constantly be hauled into school by his teachers aren't we?"

"Probably." Ten shrugged. He didn't care, as long as his son was happy and wasn't being picked on while at school then he was fine with the odd parent-teacher meeting. Baby Qian was going to be a little firecracker, he knew that already. "I'll fight his teachers too if I have to."

Kun scooped Mark out of his pushchair once they finally made it to the park. It was the middle of winter so there wasn't a load of people here, fortunately. Mark was only little, and none of them wanted him getting trampled on. But it was empty enough to let the one-year-old crawl around on the rubber surface. There weren't that many toys he could play on just yet, but he seemed to be enjoying the fact he was outdoors regardless. 

"Does he need his mittens on? The ground is kinda cold." Ten mused as he watched Mark crawl over to a nearby carousel. It was still pretty warm for December, but Mark's hands were so soft and tiny he didn't want his little fingers to get too cold. 

"Oh my god, he's learning." Johnny whispered to both Jaehyun and Kun as Ten crouched down on the ground to put Mark's mittens on. The two of them laughed softly, catching Ten's attention, making him turn his head, eyes narrowed. 

"What are you fucking laughing at?"

"Ten!" Jaehyun ran over to Mark to cover his ears, the boy giggling, having no idea what was happening. "Don't swear in front of him! Taeyong will kill us if he learns bad words."

"He's gonna learn them eventually." Ten scoffed as Mark played with his pigtails - almost enamoured with the long dark hair Ten had chosen to wear today. "Might as well teach him now. Make him look cool in front of his friends when he goes to play school."

Jaehyun whispered an 'oh my god' under his breath. Ten was chaotic. Note to self, never let him babysit our kid. Wait. Was he- Was he thinking about the possibility of him and Johnny actually keeping this baby? Oh god. He had come out to forget about all of this, but who was he kidding? He was with an adorable baby and a pregnant person. Of course it was the only thing he could think of. 

"Come here, baby, let's go on the swings." Jaehyun scooped Mark up, taking him over to the swing set and settling him in the seat, making sure he was secure enough not to fall out. 

"God, I'm gonna be the best mom." Ten smiled to himself as Kun came over to help him up, his stupid belly getting in the way. Yeah, he definitely should have skipped on the heels today. "Our baby is gonna be such a little badass. He needs a little leather jacket and a pair of Doc Martens, like, as soon as he's born."

Kun simply shook his head in response. He was going to have his hands full with Ten and this mini version of Ten in the future, wasn't he? 

"Mark is actually kind of cute." Ten whined as he watched Jaehyun push him softly on the swings. He was giggling loudly, making little screechy noises of happiness as he clapped his mittened hands together. 

"All babies are cute." Kun wrapped his arms around Ten from behind, his head resting on the younger's shoulder, fingers splayed out over the swell of his stomach. "Ours is gonna be the cutest though."

Ten turned to press a kiss to Kun's lips, both of them laughing into it as the baby began to kick against his father's hand. He definitely knew when they were being all mushy together. No doubt in a few years he'd be whining at his parents to stop kissing and embarrassing him in public. 

Johnny watched the two of them, leant up against the swing set. They were so adorable together. He had honestly never imagined Ten to settle down, especially not at twenty-five, but this baby had definitely changed him, matured him a little, even. 

Ten and Kun hadn't even been together that long and they were making this work. They had only just moved in together. They were still learning things about each other. And now they were embarking on this huge journey. Together. He could understand why Ten was so scared when he found out he was pregnant, but he was thankful his best friend had someone like Kun in his life. Someone that was there for him, that genuinely loved him. 

It made him think...if they could do this, then he and Jaehyun definitely could. Sure, it would still be scary and they might struggle with money and stuff, but... They'd be able to do it. 

He and Jaehyun had been together forever. Lived together for years. They knew everything about each other. They were in love. _So _in love. This was the man Johnny wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Wanted to raise a family with. Sure, this may be a little earlier than they had planned for, but they could definitely do it, right? They could totally raise a kid. 

His attention turned to Jaehyun, his boyfriend was plucking Mark out of the seat just as he began to get fussy, bored of the swing for now. Jaehyun was so good with kids, Johnny knew he'd be an amazing father; it was just a case of whether he was ready for that. Jaehyun was a couple of years younger than Johnny was, only twenty-four; maybe it was too early for him to become a parent. Maybe he was more than happy just being the Uncle to Mark and Ten's unborn baby. Johnny understood that, completely. He could never hold it against Jaehyun if he did decide to get an abortion. It was his body after all. 

But...Johnny was definitely coming around to the idea of them having a kid. This kid. He knew they were young and not married and they'd probably need to look for a bigger place, but...was that really a huge deal? 

It was 2019; you didn't need to be married to have a baby anymore. He and Jaehyun were madly in love, they were going to get married one day, he knew that. So what if they did things the wrong way around? And they could definitely afford a new place. It might not be their dream home, but Johnny may have been browsing places online and he was pretty sure they could afford a cute little two bedroom house. 

They would definitely be able to do this. He knew that. It was just a case of whether Jaehyun agreed, whether he thought he could go through with the pregnancy, whether he was ready to be father. 

Johnny smiled to himself as he watched Jaehyun and Kun on the see-saw, Mark in Kun's lap as the three of them bounced up and down. Jaehyun looked so genuinely happy when Mark was around. He could only imagine the size of the dimpled smile on his boyfriends face when we he looked at his own child. _Their _child. 

He didn't want to pressure Jaehyun into making a decision, didn't want to rush him, but they were definitely going to have to talk about this more. 

"You okay?" Ten wandered over to Johnny, realising that someone twenty weeks gone couldn't play on all of the kid's toys in case he injured himself. That sucked. "You've been suspiciously quiet. I don't like it."

"I'm just watching." Johnny shrugged. Jaehyun was now zooming down a spiral slide with Mark in his lap. "Jae loves spending time with Mark."

"Yeah, they're pretty cute together. Kinda makes you wanna have one of your own, huh?" Ten smirked, nudging Johnny with his elbow. "How about you ask Jaehyun to put a bun in that oven?"

Johnny rolled his eyes as Ten poked at his stomach. He still desperately wanted Johnny and Jaehyun to have kids so he wouldn't be pregnant on his own, and so that his baby would have friends his own age. Johnny wanted to tell him what was going on with them, but he would never betray Jaehyun's trust like that. Plus, Ten wasn't exactly known for being able to keep his mouth shut. 

"I'm not getting pregnant just so you have someone to go maternity pants shopping with."

"You're the worst best friend ever." Ten pouted up at the taller man. He hated being pregnant on his own. Sure, he'd kind of made friends with that Jungwoo from his antenatal classes, but he didn't really get to hang out with him much. 

"Hey, how about we go for a coffee or something? I think he's getting hungry." Kun came jogging over with a whining Mark in his arms. "Plus I'm kinda cold."

"That's cause you didn't wear a proper coat like I told you too." Ten chastised, pulling at the collar of Kun's denim jacket. He had no idea how many of these things his fiancé owned, and he couldn't deny he looked absolutely drop dead gorgeous in them, but December wasn't exactly denim jacket season. Even if it was a little warmer than usual. 

"You're right," Kun pressed a kiss to Ten's cheek, passing him Mark to hold, "you're gonna be the best Mom."

"Shut the fuck up." Ten hissed under his breath, kicking Kun's shin playfully. He laughed to himself as he balanced Mark on top of his bump. Cute. "Should we go get you some food?"

Ten nuzzled his nose against Marks, making the one-year-old squeal with delight, clearly overjoyed with the fact all of these people were giving him so much attention. 

"They seem to be doing a pretty good job." Jaehyun hummed to himself as he pushed the empty stroller, Ten insisting on carrying Mark to a cafe just around the corner. 

"Yeah, but this is the fun stuff. I wonder how they're gonna cope with changing diapers and 3am feeds."

"Maybe we should see if they want to take him for the night. They could definitely do with the experience."

"You think Taeyong would be okay with that?"

"He's said they could babysit before, they've just always turned him down. I just think it would be good for them."

"You were looking forward to having him though."

"I mean..." Jaehyun hesitated a little. He was. He was super excited to babysit Mark because he loved him more than anything, but today had made him realise that he and Johnny really should talk. And maybe it should be tonight. "I absolutely love watching him, but I get to see him all of the time. Ten doesn't have long left until he's gonna have a kid of his own."

"I ordered for you both." Kun smiled as the two of them finally entered the cafe. He and Ten had already found a table, Mark perched on Ten's knee, face nuzzled into the dark-haired boy's chest. "Americanos, right?"

"Uh..." Jaehyun faltered for a second. Was he allowed to drink coffee while pregnant? Surely caffeine was bad for the baby, right? But he couldn't very well say no. Kun would get suspicious. He could just not drink it.

"Jaehyun's on a bit of a health kick, he's trying to swap coffee for tea." Johnny lied; he and Jaehyun were so in tune with one another he knew exactly what the younger was thinking. "Sorry."

"Oh, I'm sure you can just change the order, it's no big deal."

Jaehyun squeezed Johnny's hand as the elder went off to get Jaehyun something different to drink. He honestly wasn't even sure whether caffeine would actually have an effect on the baby, but he didn't really want to risk it. 

"Enjoying yourself?" Jaehyun chuckled as he sat down opposite Ten. The elder was making aeroplane noises, waving a spoonful of food around in Mark's face. 

"Yeah, but I don't think Mark is. What's this shit Taeyong's feeding him anyway?" Ten looked at the hand written label on the bowl of food Jaehyun had packed with him. Of course Taeyong made his own food. "Quinoa banana mash?" Ten physically gagged. "Oh Mark, I'm so sorry your Daddy is insane, baby. Can I get him some cake or something instead?"

"I'm not being held responsible for that. You know what Taeyong's like, he's gonna find out somehow."

Ten sighed. He would fucking _hate _to have Taeyong as a parent.

"Well, he'll have to get used to it, because there's no way I'm making him gluten free paleo meals when he comes over to play with Chipmunk."

Jaehyun's heart skipped a beat at that. He hadn't even really thought about all of the babies playing together that much. Ten's son and Mark and...His baby? If he did decide to keep it his baby would only be a few months younger than Ten's. They'd be in the same class at school. They might even be best friends. Just like their dads. How adorable would that be? And Mark could be like their big brother - looking after them at school and stuff. Oh my god. How precious. 

"Here you go, babe." Johnny popped Jaehyun's peppermint tea down in front of him as he too watched Ten try to feed Mark. "Have you asked them yet?"

"Asked us what?" Ten's eyes narrowed, automatically suspicious. 

"Just...we were wondering if you wanted to look after Mark tonight? It might give you a bit more experience."

Kun hummed softly at that. Actually...

"I mean..."

"Not tonight." Ten raised his eyebrows at Kun, inferring that they already had plans. 

"It would be good for us, though. We've never looked after a kid on our own. We need some practice."

"I know! I agree, but..." Ten covered Mark's ears, swearing in front of him was one thing, but maybe he shouldn't hear this. "I have a dick appointment tonight, we can't."

Kun rolled his eyes. "I'll book you in for a double session tomorrow."

"But I'm so horny!" Ten whined, not caring that the people on the next table most definitely heard. "Are you really going to say no to the mother of your child?"

Kun thought about it for a second, eyes flitting between Ten and Mark. "No."

"You're the absolute worst, oh my god." Ten pouted. He had been looking forward to this all week. He was always way too tired when he got home from work and Kun had been having to stay back later anyway and it felt like _forever _since they'd had sex. "Can I at least get a blowjob?"

"While he's in the house?" Kun's eyebrows. That felt so...weird. What if Ten woke him up with his ridiculously loud moans? 

"Yes! If you seriously think we aren't fucking for eighteen years once this one comes along, I'm getting an abortion."

"I'm pretty sure it's too late." Kun smirked, not at all phased by Ten's blasé comment. He was used to the younger's idle threats by now. "You've missed your chance."

"Then he's being left on someone's doorstep. We're still gonna fuck _all _the time once he's here. We'll just keep it to the bedroom. Mostly."

Johnny and Jaehyun exchanged a look. They were more than used to Ten's way with words by now, the Thai boy had a dark sense of humour that not everyone appreciated, but he always managed to make them laugh. 

"So...is that a yes?"

"Okay, fine." Ten sighed exasperatedly, finally uncovering Mark's ears. "But we need to clear it with Taeyong first. I'm not entirely sure he'll want _me _babysitting his pride and joy, but if he does then, yeah, we'll look after him tonight. We could use the practice I guess."

Kun wrapped his arms around Ten, pulling the younger in to press a kiss to his cheek before whispering 'I love you' into dark hair. If Jaehyun didn't know Ten any better he could have sworn he blushed. But Ten didn't blush. Ever. 

"But, I'm making him some decent food. Not..." Ten picked the spoon up, the quinoa banana mash dripping off of it back into the bowl. "This."

༓࿇༓

"Okay, Markie, welcome to our home. This is the living room." Ten tottered around the house, the one year old in His arms, showing Mark where everything was just in case he wanted to get up in the middle of the night and pour himself a juice or something. "This is the kitchen. We're gonna make you something tasty. Better than that gruel your Daddy feeds you."

Kun rolled his eyes at the scene, even though it was adorable. It wouldn't be long until Ten would be swanning around the place with their own baby. 

"What do you like? Spaghetti? Curry? Kun, can babies have curry?"

"Probably not as spicy as you make it."

Ten scoffed. Babies were pussies. 

"Fine, I'll make it bland and tasteless."

Ten passed Mark over to Kun so he could get cooking. He may have to multitask in the future and do all of this with a baby on his hip, but right now he had his fiancé to keep Mark occupied. 

Kun took Mark into the living room, getting out every single toy Johnny and Jaehyun has dropped off at their place. And it was a lot... Did kids really need this many toys? Mark was what, sixteen months old; did he really have any idea what he was playing with? Maybe he did...maybe they would have to splash out on this much stuff. 

The monetary aspect was what had been worrying Kun the most. 

Ten was self-employed, and although things were going really well for his and Johnny's business, it was going to be much more difficult for them to afford maternity pay while Ten was off. They were in a much more dangerous position than they would be if Ten worked for a more established design company. 

But then there was Kun's job. There wasn't really anywhere he could go with it...he couldn't get a promotion or whatever because he was just...a photographer. That wasn't how things worked at his place. They already had a senior photographer and there was no way she was leaving any time soon. She had been there since before Kun was even born. 

And although he always had a steady income - people _always _needed photographers; be that for weddings or events or even working with other design companies - he was worried it wasn't going to be enough. 

Maybe he should look to work somewhere that paid more. Or just give up on what he loved and went and did something more...sustainable. More lucrative. 

He didn't know what though. 

"Hey, what's this?" Kun grabbed a little plastic turtle what was covered in buttons that lit up and made all sorts of noises, trying to get Mark to engage with it. But the boy simply pushed it away, having way too much fun with a pile of simple building blocks. 

Maybe kids didn't need all of this shit. Mark just seemed happy to have people around him. Sure, it was going to cost money to raise a child, but there was no need for them to go overboard with things that weren't a necessity. 

"Foods up!"

Kun scooped Mark into his arms, making the boy whine a little as they had to leave behind the tower he and Kun had made, but the moment he smelled food his eyes lit up. 

"This is so much nicer than that shit your Daddy makes you." Ten scooped up a spoonful of curry and rice - which he had very sensibly made extra mild and left to cool so it wouldn't burn Mark's mouth - and held it to his lips. "You're gonna want to come over _all the time _to see Chipmunk and eat Auntie Ten's superior food."

Kun watched on as Ten fed Mark in his high chair, not bothering with his own dinner until the boy was satisfied. He knew Ten was worried about being a parent. Scared that he wasn't naturally maternal enough or wouldn't be very good at it, but Kun could tell that wasn't going to be the case. Even with a kid that wasn't his own Ten was going out of his way to make sure Mark was looked after. 

And he knew fine well he'd be even more amazing when it was their own little boy. 

It was crazy to think that was only a few months away. Ten was half way through his pregnancy and by spring they'd have a little Mark all of their own. 

Kun couldn't wait. He may be freaking out a little, but he honestly could not wait to hold that little boy in his arms. 

"What time do you think he needs to go to bed?" Ten yawned as Mark giggled on his knee. They had been watching some dumb baby show for what felt like hours after they finished eating and, honestly, Ten could do with some sleep himself.

"Soon, probably. Here, I'll take him up and get him ready. I think you should probably do the same."

Ten pouted a little as Kun scooped the boy up. Mark was keeping him warm. And maybe...he kind of liked the cuddles. 

But he was absolutely wrecked. They'd had a long day, and the fact he was a giant blimp of a human seemed to drain all of the energy from him. 

His bed was most definitely calling. 

He passed by the spare bedroom on the way up, the one that would be their babies room if they ever bothered to get the arm long length list of shit they needed. But tonight they'd popped Marks travel cot up in there, and Ten couldn't get over the scene in front of him. 

Mark was changed into a fresh set of jammies, cradled in Kun's arms as he rocked him back and forth, singing a lullaby with that fucking angelic voice of his. 

And Ten had never been more in love with him. 

That wasn't even their baby, but- Oh god he was going to start crying. Kun was going to be _the best _dad in the world, Ten just knew it. 

He only hoped he'd be on the same level. 

Ten was tucked up in bed by the time Kun finally got Mark down. Every time he thought the boy had drifted off to sleep, and leaned in to settle him down in his crib… he'd wake up. Thank god he didn't scream the house down; he'd merely giggle and make grabby hands for Kun, thinking it was some kind of game. 

"How's the baby?" Ten's voice was a little muffled by his cheek pressed against the pillow, voice heavy with sleep. Looks like he had forgotten about his dick appointment after all. 

"Cute. Asleep." Kun slid into bed behind his fiancé, pressing up against Ten's back, an arm thrown over his waist, hand resting on his swollen stomach. "Think ours is jealous."

Ten smiled as the baby kicked at his father's hand. He'd been extra active today; it was like he could sense they were paying attention to someone else. 

"He better calm down, Mommy needs to sleep and I would rather lie here and piss myself than get up for the bathroom if he kicks me in the bladder again."

Kun laughed into the nape of Ten's neck. Jesus Christ. He actually wouldn't even put it past him. 

"Please don't." Kun rubbed a calming hand over Ten's stomach. "It's okay, Chipmunk. Baba's here."

Ten sighed contentedly as things calmed down after a little while. Thank god. He was over the moon he could feel the baby moving and didn't have to panic about there being a problem, but he also liked to sleep. 

"Goodnight, baby." Ten yawned, addressing both his fiancé and his son, in a way. "I haven't forgotten about my dick appointment by the way."

Kun rolled his eyes. Of course he hadn't forgotten. Classic Ten. 

"And I told you, you'll get it tomorrow."

"Double session?"

"Double session."

"Good." Ten smirked into his pillow. There was no way babysitting was going to ruin their sex life. It just so happened he was really tired tonight. 

"You better fuck me up."

Kun scoffed. He should have known better than Ten taking things down a notch or two now he was pregnant. 

"Whatever you want," Kun nuzzled his nose into the nape of Ten's neck, making him giggle, "my little whore."

Perfect. Ten liked the sound of that. 

"Love you."

"Love you too, puddin'."

༓࿇༓

Jaehyun almost regretted suggesting Ten and Kun take Mark for the night because now their little apartment felt empty. They had taken Mark's travel crib and the mountain of stuff Taeyong considered a necessity and had dropped off that afternoon to Kun and Ten's place. He had been looking forward to an adorable little baby crawling around, giggling, having fun. But now it was just...quiet. Boring. 

"How about we get take away for dinner tonight? My treat." Jaehyun smiled as a long pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. "What do you fancy?"

"Fried chicken."

"I dunno why I bothered asking." Johnny chuckled pressing a kiss to Jaehyun's nape. That was always his takeout of choice. 

"Maybe it's what the baby wants." Jaehyun mused without even thinking. Oh god. Had he-

He felt Johnny tense up behind him. 

Fuck. 

"Hey, look at me." Johnny urged Jaehyun to turn around, which he did, but he couldn't look him in the eye. Johnny rested his forehead against Jaehyun's, taking a deep breath in. "We really need to talk about this, don't we?"

Jaehyun nodded, eyes still cast down to Johnny's chest. It had only been just over a week since he found out he was pregnant, but it felt like an eternity. He hated that he had made Johnny wait in limbo for so long, without really talking to him about what was going on in his head. But he was scared to say it aloud. Because then it was all too real. 

"How about I order and we sit down and talk while we're waiting for food?"

Jaehyun nodded again, terrified to open his mouth in case he burst into tears. He wasn't even sure why he felt this way, he just... He was still so scared of making the wrong decision. He felt like no matter what path he chose, somehow it would be the opposite of what Johnny wanted and he'd resent him for the rest of their lives and probably end up breaking up and-

Nope. 

It didn't matter that he didn't open his mouth. Because here came the tears anyway. 

"Oh my god, baby don't cry." Johnny reached up on his toes a little. Jaehyun wasn't that much shorter than him, so he had to make himself a little taller if his boyfriend wanted to nuzzle into his chest properly. Which Jaehyun _always _did when he cried. "We're gonna figure this out, I promise. Together."

"I just-" Jaehyun wrapped his arms tight around Johnny's waist, sniffling against his sweatshirt. That would probably have to go in the wash. "I don't know what _you _want."

"I've told you, I'll back you no matter what."

"Yeah, but-" Jaehyun pulled back, finally looking up at his boyfriend. "I want you to have a say too. This isn't just my baby, Johnny. It's ours. I need to know if you actually want it. I don't want to trap you into raising a kid with me if you're not ready!"

"You- Do you want to keep it?"

"I still don't know! I'm so-" Jaehyun's breath shuddered as he tried to compose himself. "I just feel like you're asking me to make this huge decision on my own. And I'm really grateful that you say you're going to be there for me either way, but I need your input too."

"I-" Johnny hadn't thought about it like that. He was trying to give Jaehyun as much space as possible, trying not to pressure or overwhelm him. Trying to make sure he knew he would be there for him no matter what. But maybe he had put too much responsibility on him. This was a huge decision they needed to talk through. "I... I love you, more than anything. And I want to have a family with you and- I know we're young and it'll be hard and we might have to move and change our lifestyle but..."

Johnny trailed off, he was scared of sounding too enthusiastic because he didn't want to influence Jaehyun's decision, didn't want to guilt him into anything, but... He kind of really wanted this baby. Maybe it was sooner than planned and they weren't quite where they wanted to be in their careers, but, Jaehyun had this tiny clump of cells inside of him that they had made (albeit, accidentally) that one day would turn into a baby that might have Jaehyun's dimples and Johnny's lips and- He had really tried not to get his hopes up, not to let himself get too carried away in case this wasn't what Jaehyun wanted. 

But he really did want this baby. 

"You think we should keep it?"

"I think- I would _love _to start a family with you, Jaehyun. I think we'll be able to do it and we'll be amazing parents and we can get through just about anything together. So, yeah, I would love for us to have this baby. But if you aren't ready then I understand, I don't want you feeling guilty if you aren't there yet."

"Do you really think we can do this?" Jaehyun's voice was small. The more he thought about it the more he wanted the keep their baby too. He was just terrified of not being good enough. Of being too young or not making enough money to provide for their child. What if he was a bad parent? 

"I do." Johnny took Jaehyun's hands in his own. It wasn't going to be easy and they were going to encounter problems along the way, but Johnny knew they could overcome them. He and Jaehyun were solid. "If Ten and Kun can do it, we definitely can."

Jaehyun laughed under his breath, eyes rolling. He still couldn't believe that _Ten _of all people was going to be a parent in a few months. 

"So..." Jaehyun tried his hardest to hold back a smile, but couldn't. "We're having a baby?"

Johnny mirrored his boyfriend, breaking out into a wide grin before pulling him into a deep kiss. This was really happening. They were having a baby of their own. Starting a family. Together. 

"I guess we are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) if u have any questions!! uwu  



	9. clinic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back! this isn't the happiest of chapters unfortunately :( but I think it's an important one and I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless!
> 
> TW:  
depression and antenatal depression  
anxiety  
abortion

"You really didn't have to come with me."

"It's fine, honestly."

"But you probably have things to do and you're stuck here with me and-"

"Jungwoo." Ten placed a calming hand over the younger's own. He was terrified, and it was understandable. "I'm serious. I'm glad I came with you. I wouldn't want you doing this alone."

Jungwoo smiled weakly, uttering out a soft 'thanks.' This is honestly the last place he thought he'd end up, but he had no choice. He was at the end of his tether and he couldn't do this anymore. 

He and Doyoung had spoken; they had talked about getting help, but... Jungwoo didn't want him involved. He wasn't sure why, he just didn't. He didn't want him here. He didn't want the father of his baby, his _husband _to have anything to do with this. He knew it was an awful thing to do, but if Doyoung loved him he'd forgive him. Right? 

He just couldn't do this anymore. He needed to sort things out. 

"Mr Kim?" 

Jungwoo took a deep breath as the receptionist called his name. Okay. This was it. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?"

Jungwoo shook his head. He appreciated the offer, but...this was private. If he couldn't even have his husband here with him he couldn't very well ask someone he'd barely known a month. 

"I need to do this on my own."

"Okay." Ten gave him a soft smile, thumbs rubbing into the back of Jungwoo's hands. He knew this was hard for him, he could practically hear the youngers heart beating against his ribcage. It wasn't easy to admit you weren't coping. And it definitely wasn't easy to do something about it. "I'll be here when you get out. And then...we can do whatever you want after, if you're up for it. Yeah?"

Jungwoo whispered out another thanks. He wasn't sure what he would have done without Ten, if he was being perfectly honest. 

"I'll see you in a bit." Ten called after him as he followed the nurse to wherever he was behind taken, his hand rubbing soft circles into his own bump as he whispered to his baby as a way of calming himself down. "It's okay, he's gonna be fine."

Jungwoo was taken to another waiting room, one where he was completely alone. He took another deep breath, gripping onto the sides of the metal chair he was sat in. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes but he wasn't sure why. All he'd done the past few months was cry and cry and... This was meant to make it stop. He should be happy, right? It was finally going to be over. 

But...it wasn't. Not yet. He could feel his baby shifting inside of him - reminding him it still existed. It...It was like it knew what he was thinking. Knew what he was about to do. 

And it broke his heart a little. It really did. Because he had wanted this baby so bad. It wasn't like he had accidentally gotten knocked up and was in an awkward position where he couldn't provide for it on his own or anything. 

No. He was married. To a civil engineer who was going to inherit his father's company in just a matter of years. They were more than financially secure. And they were in love. They were _so _in love. They had planned for this little baby, wanting to get married first so they could be a proper family. 

But...it wasn't that easy, he had learned. Being in the perfect position or whatever wasn't enough. He knew that now. Hell, Ten had told him how he and Kun had gotten together. They definitely didn't plan their kid. 

But they were happy. Ten was happy. He couldn't wait to meet his little boy and love him for the rest of his life and Jungwoo honestly felt so fucking pathetic because he didn't feel like that. Why didn't he feel like that? 

What if he never felt like that? 

"Mr Kim? If you'd like to come through?"

Jungwoo swallowed thickly, following the lady into what looked like an office. This wasn't what he had been expecting. It didn't seem very clinical...

"Mr Kim, I'm Dr Bae, but you can call me Irene. Please take a seat."

Jungwoo nodded softly as he sat down on one of the sofas, Irene sitting on the one opposite. 

"I understand you want a termination?"

Jungwoo's lips parted. He couldn't speak. He couldn't say yes because...he just felt so bad. He didn't like that word. 

"With you being so far along we just need to make sure this is definitely what you want, okay? This session will help you lay everything out in the open to make sure you're not making the wrong decision. I'm not here to change your mind or to force you to do anything. Just to talk things through."

Jungwoo's heart dropped. Was this a therapy session? He thought he was just going to get this over and done with and then he'd never have to think about it again. 

"I-I don't want to talk."

"Mr Kim. Jungwoo? Can I call you Jungwoo?" He nodded softly. "I've read over your notes and your midwife seems to believe you have antenatal depression. You didn't feel like this at the start of your pregnancy, is that correct?"

Jungwoo nodded. 

"And this baby was planned? You and your husband had been trying for a while before you got pregnant?"

"About five months." Jungwoo shrugged. He had expected to get knocked up way quicker than that, and he had been starting to give up hope, starting to look into other avenues when it finally happened. Those two lines finally showed up on the test. 

"And how did you feel when you first found out?"

"I-" Jungwoo's breath shuddered. "I was over the moon. I was _so _excited that it had finally happened. That we were going to have a baby... Our own little baby that was...both of us and-"

Jungwoo couldn't help but smile as the thought back to that day. He had practically screamed the house down in their little downstairs bathroom, arms wrapped tightly around Doyoung as he sobbed into his shoulder. He wasn't sure he'd ever been happier. Not when Doyoung proposed or when they got married. 

"I-It was the best day of my life."

"And then everything changed?"

"Yeah..."

"And why is that?"

Jungwoo sighed, grabbing a pillow from beside him to cuddle into. He wished he fucking knew. 

"Is all of this really necessary? Can't we just get on with it so I can go back to feeling better?"

"We do need to assess you before a termination, yes. Not only medically but mentally." Jungwoo chewed on the inside of his lip as Irene noted something down. "Do you think that's what will happen? You'll feel better once the foetus is gone?"

Jungwoo scrunched his nose. Foetus? That sounded so...weird. It was a baby, right? His and Doyoung's baby? Or...it would be. In theory. If he wasn't going to get rid of it. 

"Yes. I was happy before and- Once it's gone I can go back to normal."

"You were happy at the start of the pregnancy too. When did that stop?"

Jungwoo shrugged. He hadn't exactly been keeping count. It was a few weeks before he met Ten, that's when he had started waking up feeling like shit. 

"Maybe like...five or six weeks ago?"

"And you haven't told anyone? You've been suffering with this on your own?"

"I- I felt stupid..." Jungwoo picked at a loose thread on the cushion he had hugged close to his chest. "At first I thought it was just the hormones and then... It just didn't go away. It just kept getting worse and I felt like I couldn't say anything because- I dunno. I was worried about what people would think of me. But now I'm running out of time and- I can't do this anymore."

Irene looked over Jungwoo's notes. Twenty weeks and one day pregnant. That was why he had been referred to therapy first of all, instead of going in for an abortion after a brief consultation. It was late for him to be considering this without there being a medical reason such as continuing with the pregnancy harming him or the baby. 

But she could see he was panicking. He only had four weeks left to terminate the pregnancy. 

"Do you have a history of depression, Jungwoo? Or does it run in your family?" There was nothing on his notes, but these things often went undiagnosed, especially if someone didn't reach out for help. And it was clear that Jungwoo hadn't. 

"I don't think so...not as far as I'm aware."

"Any other mental health problems?"

Jungwoo shrugged, looking towards the window, wanting to look anywhere but at the therapist. He suffered from anxiety attacks all through university. The pressure of studying and the exams was just too much for him. But he soldiered on. He was terrified that if he told anyone they'd think he was weak. That if he was put on medication it would maybe help with the anxiety but there would be side effects. 

And as an engineering student he couldn't afford to mess anything up. He had his sight set on a top firm in the city, but he needed perfect grades to get an internship there. And he was pretty sure they wouldn't want someone who had been diagnosed with mental health problems. 

So he didn't bother going to see anyone about it. He dealt with it on his own. 

And it worked. Sort of. The anxiety didn't go away, obviously, but at least he got the grades he needed and he got an internship at the company he wanted. He was going to be an engineer. 

And he just so happened to meet the love of his life in the process. 

Doyoung was someone he had looked up to, to start with. Someone he had aspired to be. Someone who helped out and genuinely seemed to want him to progress within the company. He wasn't Jungwoo's mentor or anything, but Jungwoo always seemed to go to him for advice. He was just drawn to Doyoung. 

And then he became so much more. Jungwoo fell in love with him. They began dating and, well, you know the rest. They got married after only a year of being together because they didn't see the point in hanging around. And naturally the next step was to have a baby, because they both desperately wanted a family. 

Jungwoo still cared about his career, of course he did, he could have a baby and keep working. They could get a nanny and he could go back part time if he had to. That wasn't going to be a problem; his husband was in line to become the CEO for God's sake. 

But...he had been starting to think that maybe that was unrealistic. He had already been struggling at work, being pregnant and all. But that could be more to do with the depression. He wasn't sure. He just didn't know anymore. It didn't help that Doyoung suggested he take a longer maternity leave after the baby was born. It made him feel kind of...redundant. Like he wasn't good enough to be an engineer anymore because he had a baby. Like the rest of his life was going to focus around the baby and that's all he was going to amount to. Just a parent. A stay at home Dad that cooked and cleaned and changed dirty diapers. He had run himself ragged to get a first class degree and it was all for nothing. 

That's when the anxiety attacks began again. 

He'd had a bit of a break from them, the stress of university dissipating after getting his dream job. Life seemed easier for a bit. He was happy. Really happy. 

But...then everything changed. And the first attack hit him like a tonne of bricks. 

"I have, like...panic attacks sometimes. They're not really a big deal though, they just go away. I hadn't had one for a while, until..."

"Until?"

"About six weeks ago." He sighed. It was all starting to add up now he was saying it aloud. How hadn't he pieced it together earlier?

"But you used to have them more frequently?"

Jungwoo told Irene everything. About university, about his job, about how he was terrified of being...nothing. He had worked so hard and now he was just...nothing. He was never going to be a valued engineer because of this baby. It was ruining his life and it wasn't even born yet. 

"You mentioned your husband suggested you take some extra time off. Have you spoken to him about that?" 

"Not really, I- I know he has mine and the babies best interests at heart, that he doesn't want it to be raised by someone else, and I get that, but..."

"You feel it's going to sabotage your career?"

"...Yeah. And what if I'm no good at it? Like, I can't even...touch my bump at the moment, it makes me feel sick. What if I'm stuck raising a baby I hate- Not hate. That sounds- It's not the baby's fault. God you're gonna think I'm an awful person."

"I don't, at all. I think you're scared and I think you have underlying mental health problems that need to be addressed. I know you're worried that you're running out of time, but I would strongly urge you to have more therapy sessions before you make your mind up." Irene scribbled something on a pad of paper. "Antenatal depression is very common, especially among younger, first time parents like yourself. Like I said at the start of our session, I'm not here to make you change your mind, if you feel like a termination is best for you, I can offer counselling after."

Jungwoo shifted a little in his seat. He had come here dead set on getting an abortion, but...

"If you have any doubt at all, however, I'd like you to come visit me more often. We can work out dates that are best for you. And...Maybe it would be nice to bring your husband along to a session. Or at least talk to him in private. Tell him what you're feeling."

Opening up to Doyoung was the hardest thing he'd ever done, but his husband had been so supportive. He had dropped everything at work to get Jungwoo a midwives appointment the next day. He had tried to talk things out but Jungwoo kept clamming up and pushing him out. He had even wanted to come today but Jungwoo wouldn't let him. 

God, he felt awful. He had forced his husband to go to work thinking that when he got home they wouldn't have a baby anymore. His head was just such a mess right now that hadn't even crossed his mind until now. 

He needed to speak to Doyoung. Properly. 

"For now I'm going to prescribe you some anti-depressants. I would usually wait but because you're already twenty weeks gone and we don't have time for months of therapy I want to start you on them as quickly as possible."

Jungwoo took the prescription. He had always been so scared of taking anything like this, but...maybe it was time.

"D-Do you think I'll get better? Without getting rid of the baby?" Jungwoo hadn't even considered that. He had been focusing on having an abortion and getting this over and done with for the past few weeks and then he'd go back to normal. But maybe he'd still feel shitty because...it wasn't the baby. It was him. It was this anxiety that he'd been ignoring for years. All this time he'd been blaming the baby when... He was the one with mental health issues. 

"I can't give you a definitive answer, but I do want to try and help you deal with your anxiety before you make any life changing decisions." Irene stood, grabbing her diary off of the desk; she needed to get Jungwoo back in as soon as possible. "How does next Monday sound?"

༓࿇༓

Jungwoo unlocked his front door, slipping in and closing it behind him. He heard a scurry of feet against the hardwood floor, cursing under his breath. He had hoped Doyoung would still have been at work. 

"...Woo?" Doyoung's voice was so fragile, like it was going to break at any second. "Are you okay? D-Did Ten drive you home?"

Doyoung thought Jungwoo had just aborted their baby and his main concern was whether Jungwoo had to get the tube or not. Jesus Christ. 

"He did, yeah." He finally turned to face his husband. He'd definitely been crying. "C-Can we talk?"

"Of course, you go in the living room, I'll get- Do you need anything? A drink? A hot water bottle, I read that...helps with- Cramps and... Painkillers?"

He'd been googling abortion aftercare. 

Jungwoo really didn't deserve him. This poor man really thought his baby had been taken away from him, and he hadn't even been allowed to be there. And all he cared about was Jungwoo's wellbeing. 

He did not deserve Doyoung. 

And that set him off. 

"Oh, darling." Doyoung's arms were around him in an instant, pulling him into a soothing hug, hand rubbing circles in between his shoulder blades. "I know it's hard and- But you did what was best for you." Jungwoo could hear the pain in his voice. "Now you can focus on getting better, I just want to see you smile again. That's all I want."

"Doie." Jungwoo sniffled into his husband's neck. He had to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, baby." Doyoung pressed a kiss to blonde hair. He absolutely hated seeing Jungwoo cry. 

"I didn't go through with it."

Doyoung froze. He- What?

"You d- You're still-?"

Jungwoo nodded softly, heart shattering as Doyoung broke into a wide smile. 

"Oh my god! Woo, I-" he had been secretly hoping that Jungwoo wouldn't be able to go through with it because god he had already fallen head over heels for this baby. With _their _baby. This had been all he'd ever wanted. A family with the man he lived. And now it was going to be a reality. "Thank you so much. I am going to do _everything _to help you get through this, okay? I'll take time off work; I'll do whatever you need me to to help make this pregnancy easier on you. And it's going to be so worth it, Jungwoo, I promise. When we get to hold that little boy or girl in our arms it's gonna be-"

"Yet." Jungwoo had to cut him off, he just had to. He couldn't let Doyoung think that everything was going to be fine and dandy from now on. Because he wasn't sure it would be. He still wasn't sure what he wanted. "I...haven't gone through with it yet."

Doyoung's face fell and Jungwoo honestly felt like his heart had been ripped right out of his chest. He absolutely hated what he was doing to him - the man he loved. Getting his hopes up only for them to come crashing back down, over and over again. 

He was an awful person. 

Doyoung didn't deserve this. Any of this. And neither did this baby. How could he possibly father a child when he was such an awful person? 

"I don't- So...you're gonna-? You're still going to..." Doyoung didn't understand this. Why was Jungwoo dragging things out? Why would he make out like there was hope only to...?

"I- I still don't know." Jungwoo choked back a sob. He could see that this was killing Doyoung, the waiting in limbo. Waiting to see whether Jungwoo would get rid of their baby or not. "I don't- Doie?"

A sob wracked through Jungwoo's body as Doyoung turned away, wiping his face with his sleeve. 

"I just need a minute."

Jungwoo tried to catch his breath as Doyoung began to walk away. Where was- Where was he going? Why was he- Was he leaving? Was he going to leave Jungwoo all alone?

"Doyoung, please."

Jungwoo could feel his chest tightening, everything feeling foreign as tears blurred his vision. He felt so disoriented and the fact he couldn't catch his breath wasn't helping. He was shaking, legs about to give away underneath him as he sobbed, as he gasped for breath, as he called his husband's name because he was so fucking terrified he was going to walk out of the back door and never come back. He wouldn't even be able to blame him, either. He would deserve it, because he was a selfish fucking mess. 

"Doyoung!" Jungwoo called again, reaching out for what he hoped was the sofa, in an attempt to try and steady himself, only to completely miss and fall to the floor. Thankfully he landed flat on his ass, not on his stomach, but he didn't even have time to think about that because he couldn't fucking breathe and Doyoung was abandoning him and-

"Woo?"

Jungwoo flinched as a hand rested on his shoulder blade, only making him cry harder. 

"Baby, Hey, are you okay? Jungwoo, breathe for me."

Doyoung has never seen him like this. It was something he had been hiding from his husband for almost three years, terrified of what he would think. 

"Jungwoo, sweetie? I'm here." Doyoung took a hold of Jungwoo's hands, making sure he knew he wasn't alone. "Take a deep breath for me. In," Doyoung paused, "and out. In and out."

Jungwoo tried to follow his instructions, concentrating on breathing slowly in between sobs. He felt so fucking stupid. Pathetic, even. He never wanted Doyoung to see him like this. 

"Baby." Doyoung wiped Jungwoo's face dry as the younger finally began to calm down. He hadn't liked that one bit. It was terrifying, actually. "What's going on?"

Jungwoo's face contorted as he sobbed. This was so fucked up. Everything about him was fucked up. 

"Come on, let's get you up." Doyoung lifted Jungwoo off of the floor, making sure he hadn't hurt anything when he fell, and guided him over to their sofa, hoping it would make him a little more comfortable. "Baby, please talk to me."

"I went to...the clinic and they-" Jungwoo stared down at his hands. He couldn't look Doyoung in the eye. He just couldn't. "I saw a therapist."

Doyoung nodded, letting Jungwoo carry on. That's what he had suggested, but his husband had refused. 

"I have...depression." Jungwoo sighed. He hadn't actually said that word aloud yet, not to Ten on the drive home or- He didn't like it. It felt... He felt like a hindrance. "They gave me some pills."

"Pills?" Doyoung asked, eyebrows furrowed as Jungwoo took the packet out of his hoodie pocket. They gave him pills? Doyoung thought they were just a short term fix. 

"And they want me to go to counselling, before I, you know...decide."

Oh. So that's what Jungwoo meant by yet. He...He still hadn't made his mind up. 

"W-Well, that's good right? They want to help you with this."

Jungwoo nodded softly. He guessed. 

"They think I have an... As well, they think I have an-" Jungwoo swallowed. God it was so fucking hard to admit this shit. "An anxiety disorder."

Doyoung deadpanned. An anxiety disorder? Jungwoo? His happy go lucky husband Jungwoo that would literally speak to anyone about anything? They thought _he _had an anxiety disorder?

"Seriously?" This didn't seem right at all. "Woo, are you sure, just..." Doyoung scoffed. "You do _not _have anxiety_._ I know people with anxiety and they- They're nothing like you. Maybe I should book you an appointment with another therapist. We can find one who's really good and-"

"Doie." Jungwoo was going to have to tell him _everything_, wasn't he? "You just watched me have an anxiety attack."

"That-" No, Jungwoo was just freaking out a little. He had a lot going on right now. "You're just stressed out."

"Maybe, but-" Jungwoo laughed bitterly, he could feel himself welling up again. He felt like he'd been lying to Doyoung for the whole time they knew each other. "It happens...a lot."

Doyoung's heart twinged. A lot? Jungwoo had...episodes like that a lot? On his own...?

"Ever since I was in university I just get so- It's like I know something bad is going to happen and I panic because there's nothing I can do to stop it and it all gets too much and-"

"Oh, god, baby, please." Doyoung tried to calm him down. He really did have anxiety, didn't he? He could see him starting to lose control again. "It's okay. I'm here now, I- Why didn't you tell me?"

"I've never told anyone." He whispered. God he had been doing this for so long on his own and he never thought he'd have to tell anyone because he was on top of it, right?

"I can't believe I've never noticed. I'm so sorry, I should have-"

"Doie, don't. It's not your fault. I was fine for a while, I really was but-"

"Then you got pregnant?"

Jungwoo nodded. 

"Can I hug you?"

Jungwoo nodded again. "Of course you can."

He melted into his husband's side as Doyoung held him close, exhaling deeply through his nose. God he needed this. He needed Doyoung. He needed him so bad. 

He wished he had have just talked to him sooner, because Doyoung was always so willing to help, he would do anything to make sure Jungwoo was happy and healthy, but unfortunately mental illness didn't always make you think straight. It fucks with your emotions, made you paranoid; terrified everyone you loved was going to leave if they found out just what a mess you were. 

But Doyoung wasn't like that. He didn't think Jungwoo was a mess, he thought he was gorgeous and strong and brave, and he was going to do everything in his power to help him get through this. 

Baby or no baby. 

Jungwoo was his husband. And he was his priority. He would never force him to carry a baby that was causing him to have such severe anxiety attacks. 

But he could understand why it had been recommended that Jungwoo go to therapy before making a full decision. Because he really had been so excited to become a father, and maybe, once he had been able to talk things through with a professional...maybe he'd get back to that. And maybe they could have they little family after all. 

Doyoung honestly wasn't sure, they would have to wait and see, but he wasn't going to put any pressure on his husband. That would only make things worse. 

"I have an appointment on Monday..." Jungwoo spoke into Doyoung's sweater, heart rate finally calming down as he breathed his husband in. 

"Monday?" Doyoung lips quirked up a little. "The anniversary of our first date."

Jungwoo's breath shuddered. Two years since Doyoung has asked him out. The time seemed to have flown. It felt like they had been together forever, but in reality it hadn't been that long. He knew they had moved fast, but...it's what they wanted. Each other. Forever. 

"It's not quite as fun as our first date, but... Will you come with me?"

"Of course I will, baby." Doyoung knew he had a meeting that day but fuck it. He'd have to delegate to someone else. He'd missed too much already, but this? This he couldn't miss for the world. "I'd do absolutely anything for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
thank u for reading!


	10. subtle as a brick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're back! God it feels like forever :((( absolutely no angst in this chapter tho it's all happy n cute I swear!!!

"Oh my god." Jaehyun's nose wrinkled as he slid into the passenger seat of Taeyong's car. The two of them both had the same day off from work and decided to make the most of it in the most stereotypically gay way. Brunch. "What's that smell?"

"What smell?" Taeyong's eyebrows furrowed. He'd just had his car serviced, it couldn't possibly smell bad. 

"Has Mark thrown up in here or something?"

"No? I've literally just had it cleaned, don't be so rude."

Jaehyun groaned as he shut the car door, buckling himself in. He couldn't even put a finger on what the smell was, but it absolutely knocked him sick. He tried to steady his breathing, hoping it would make him feel a little better as Taeyong drove. 

"So, how have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you for ages."

Jaehyun hummed, Taeyong said that every time they finally met up. Because it was true. They barely saw each other anymore. Jaehyun was so busy with work and Taeyong had his own life with his husband and son. It wasn't the same as back when they were in university together when Taeyong and Johnny were roommates. Where the three of them would stay up all night drinking and pissing the downstairs neighbours off by dancing around to shitty 90s pop songs. 

"Just been working, the usual. You?"

"Same. Mark's gotten into this habit of throwing literally any food I give him on the ground because he finds it hilarious. Like, I don't want to spoon feed him for the rest of his life but what am I meant to do?"

Jaehyun's stomach lurched at the idea of baby food. Oh god. 

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick every single pea up off the floor? They roll so far, Jaehyun."

"Pull over."

"What?"

"I'm gonna throw up, please pull-" Jaehyun clamped his hand over his mouth. Jesus Christ. Taeyong would never forgive him if he threw up in his car. 

He threw the door open as Taeyong pulled into the side of the street, vomiting all over the kerb. Wow. That was...fucking gross. 

"Oh my god, Jaehyun! Are you okay? You didn't miss, did you? There's none on my floor?"

Jaehyun shuddered, suppressing another wave of nausea. "It's fine, Yong. I didn't spew in your car, don't worry."

"What's wrong? Do you have a temperature?" Taeyong winced as Jaehyun threw up again. You'd think he'd be used to it, having a one-year-old and all. But no. There was nothing he hated more. 

"No, I'm-" Jaehyun sat back upright in the passenger seat, closing the door behind himself to try and stop the smell of vomit wafting back into the car. Fuck. What was he going to say? He couldn't tell Taeyong he had morning sickness. It was too soon. He and Johnny agreed they weren't going to say anything yet. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." Taeyong narrowed his eyes, reaching out to press the backs of his fingers to Jaehyun's forehead. "Want me to take you to the doctors?"

"No!" Jaehyun cleared his throat as Taeyong's eyes narrowed even more at his flighty response. "I'm just hungover; me and Johnny got carried away with a bottle of wine last night."

"One bottle?" Taeyong scoffed. That was a world away from what they'd down in university. "You're getting old."

"You're two years older than me."

Taeyong shrugged. "I can handle my drink, though. You sure you want to go for food?"

Jaehyun nodded. "I'm fine, honestly. Let's get going before someone realises I've whiteyed outside of their house."

After what seemed like an eternity they pulled up at the cafe and Jaehyun dived out of the car, desperate for some fresh air. He couldn't believe he'd made it all the way there without spewing all over himself. 

"I assume you're getting the usual?" Taeyong spoke as he glanced over the menu. 

"Uh..." Jaehyun hesitated. Eggs Royale was his absolute favourite but he vividly remembered Taeyong being unable to eat poached eggs when he was pregnant because they weren't cooked enough. And Jaehyun liked his eggs super runny. He wasn't sure if he could have smoked salmon either. For fucks sake. "I dunno, I might go for something different. I might have avocado toast." He suggested after a quick google of whether avocado was okay to eat while pregnant. He was scared of even attempting to go with anything egg related. Too risky. 

"Seriously?" Taeyong quirked an eyebrow at his best friend. That was literally the last thing he expected Jaehyun to say. "You sure you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just...trying to watch what I eat." Not actually a lie. Now he was expecting he really was trying to eat better. 

Taeyong hummed, clearly not buying it. Something was going on here and he was going to get to the bottom of it. 

"If you say so..." Taeyong took a sip of his drink, eyes locked on Jaehyun. Why was he acting so weird? Why in the world would Jaehyun order toast for brunch? But...he decided to change the topic of conversation, not wanting to make his best friend too uncomfortable. "We got Mark the cutest little reindeer outfit the other day. He's going to look so precious in it!"

Jaehyun smiled to himself, thankful that Taeyong had dropped it. "Please tell me you have pictures."

"Of course!" 

Jaehyun giggled softly as Taeyong passed his phone over, showing Jaehyun picture after picture of his sixteen month old all dressed up, ready for Christmas. It made Jaehyun's stomach flutter. This time next year he'd have an adorable little baby to dress up for their first ever Christmas and take hundreds of pictures of. He and Johnny were going to have a baby of their very own to buy presents for and- What the fuck? Why was his face wet? Was he-

"Are you crying?" Taeyong shot across the table, genuinely confused. If not a little concerned. 

"I-I just-"

"I know he's cute, but... Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine! Seriously!" Jaehyun wiped his face with the back of his hand. Jesus Christ. "You know how much I love him."

Taeyong hummed again. He did know. Jaehyun absolutely adored Mark, but...he was never this emotional. It was starting worry him. 

"Jae, you know you can speak to me about anything, yeah?"

Jaehyun nodded. He did know that. He just wasn't ready for anyone to know. He was scared of telling people because then this would be...real. There was no going back if he happened to change his mind. And what if it jinxed his pregnancy or something? He had heard that you weren't meant to tell people until the first trimester was over because that's when things were more likely to go wrong. He was barely halfway through. 

"I know, I'm just being dumb. I haven't seen him in a while and Christmas always makes me kind of...emotional."

"Are you sure that's all it is?"

Jaehyun nodded again, fingers absentmindedly making their way to his stomach. He hated lying to Taeyong, but he had to. Just for now, anyway. 

"Honestly, I'm fine."

"Okay, if you say s-" Taeyong's eyes locked onto the tiny circles Jaehyun was rubbing into his t-shirt with his thumb, just above his bellybutton. He briefly wondered whether he had stomach ache or something, and that's what had caused him to be sick before. But... The crying? The weird food order? The sensitivity to smells that weren't even that strong? The protective hand over his stomach? 

Oh my god. 

"Thank you." Jaehyun smiled up at the waitress as she brought their food over, pouring them each a glass of water. "This looks so- Taeyong?"

Why was Taeyong staring at him like that? Mouth agape, eyes fixated on his... Jaehyun's own gaze travelled south, hand snapping away from his stomach as he realised what he was doing. Fuck. 

"Jae, are you-?"

"Shh. Don't say it." Jaehyun stuck his hand out, almost making the poor waitress spill the jug of water in her hand. 

"But-" Taeyong faltered. Why? What was going on? Did Johnny not know or something? What was with all the secrecy? "You can talk to me."

"I know, I just..." Jaehyun glanced up at the waitress, mumbling a soft thank you as she left. How was he even meant to get himself out of this one? Taeyong clearly knew. "We aren't telling people yet."

"Oh...okay." Taeyong sort of always thought Jaehyun would want to share that part of his life with him. He had been the first person Taeyong told when he fell pregnant. "How far along are you?"

"Only seven weeks. I was just kind of...scared to say anything."

"Ah." Taeyong could see where he was coming from now. It was pretty scary, especially the first time. Taeyong was terrified of doing anything wrong. "Well, I've been through this so if you ever do want to talk, you can come to me."

"Thanks." Jaehyun smiled softly. He would be nice to have someone to talk to other than Johnny, someone who actually knew what he was going through. He just hadn't expected it to come out so soon. "I'd really like that; I'm kind of freaking out a little."

"That's totally normal, don't worry." Taeyong had been just as scared when he first found out he was pregnant with Mark. He just hid it well. Really well. Not wanting to ruin his image or anything. "I'm here for you."

This was actually really exciting. First Ten now Jaehyun. All of his friends were starting their own little families too. Mark was going to have friends only a couple of years younger than him to play with at school. 

"Could we just keep this between us, though? For now. I don't want loads of people knowing until I'm a little further along."

"Of course! I won't even tell Taeil, I promise." Taeyong didn't like keeping things from his husband, but this was Jaehyun's secret, it wasn't his to share around. And he could totally understand why he was so hesitant to tell anyone. So much could go wrong in the first couple of months. He just hoped to god nothing like that would happen to Jaehyun. 

"Thanks." Jaehyun looked down at his avocado toast. It looked...well, disgusting, to be perfectly honest. It was making his stomach turn. "I really don't know if I can eat this."

Taeyong laughed softly, remembering how his own appetite was all over the place during his first trimester. 

"There's a KFC just down the street. How about we go there instead?"

Jaehyun's eyes lit up at the thought of fried chicken. That was something he knew he could keep down. 

"Are you sure? I don't mind waiting until after you're done eating."

"Don't be stupid, I'm not gonna allow my pregnant best friend to go hungry, I'm sure they'll box this up or something." Taeyong waved one of the waiters over. "If you want a bargain bucket for brunch, then that's what you're getting."

༓࿇༓

"What you doing?"

Johnny almost jumped out of his skin as Ten wheeled over to him, projecting himself across their office in his computer chair. Probably not the safest thing for someone twenty-six weeks pregnant to be doing. 

"Nothing." Johnny minimised his safari screen from prying eyes. Jaehyun was only seven weeks along, and the two of them had decided not to tell anyone yet, scared it would jinx it or something. It was still early. They wanted to wait as long as possible to spread the news in case something happened. 

But Johnny was absolutely dying to tell someone. 

"Are you and Jae moving?" 

Johnny rolled his eyes. He should have known Ten had already seen his screen. Sometimes he felt like Ten's skills were wasted in graphic design; he'd make an amazing private detective. 

"I was just looking. Our place is tiny."

"I thought you loved it there."

"We do, I was just curious."

Ten hummed, clearly not buying it. Johnny had always said they'd never move unless they absolutely needed to, so why would they? Their apartment was in a great location for them both work wise, and it's not like they needed any extra room. It was just the two of them. Unless...

"Have you finally convinced him to get a dog?"

Johnny scoffed. That had been an ongoing debate between him and Jaehyun for the past few years. Johnny had grown up with dogs his entire life and had been desperate to get one of their own. Honestly, that had been the plan. Dog, then marriage then baby, but things didn't quite work out that way. 

Maybe he could just...lie, though. Pretend that was why so he didn't have to give the real reason away. He couldn't very well go against Jaehyun's wishes and tell Ten they were expecting if he wasn't ready for people to know. Even if Ten was his best friend. He did have kind of a big mouth. If Ten knew everyone would know. 

"He's coming around to the idea."

"Oh my god! What are you getting?" Xuxi chirped up from across the office, houses didn't interest him, but dogs? That was a conversation he was more than happy to get in on. 

"Dunno, just...something small."

"Then why are you looking at such big houses? You two don't need three bedrooms."

Johnny groaned, why was Ten so damn nosy? It was his own fault really, should have looked in the privacy of his own home. 

"I mean, we might as well. We need the extra space for when Mark stays over, and my new godson when he gets here." Johnny smiled, eyes glancing down at Ten's bump. That actually wasn't a lie; they did need more than two rooms for that exact reason. Plus, he'd like them to have more than one kid eventually. 

Ten hummed, clearly not convinced. Something was going on here and he was going to get to the bottom of it. 

"All of these places are so far away." Ten grabbed the mouse from Johnny, scrolling through the website before he had a chance to close it. "You aren't allowed to move to Fulham. Not now I just live down the street."

He and Kun had bought there new place around the same area as Johnny and Jaehyun's flat for a reason. They'd always have a baby sorry near by. That and it was a fairly cheap area for London. Neither of them had wanted to move to be honest, but neither of their flats were big enough for a baby. They needed more room.

Wait. That was the only reason Ten and Kun had moved... And Johnny and Jaehyun loved their place. And he had ticked the filter for nearby primary school and-

"Oh my god!" Ten pointed at the screen, at the filter Johnny had applied, the elder's face falling. "Are you pregnant?"

Johnny gaped, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he tried to formulate a response. Ten really would be the perfect private detective. 

"Wh- No! I'm not!"

"I can't believe this!" Ten hit Johnny on the arm. "Why wouldn't you tell me? I'm your best friend!"

"Because I'm not! Ah!" Johnny winced as ten hit him again. "Stop hitting me!"

"Not until you tell me the truth!" Ten landed another blow on Johnny's now red arm, his vision blurring as he welled up. Stupid pregnancy hormones making him cry. No, actually, stupid Johnny making him cry. "Why are you looking for somewhere with good schools if you aren't pregnant!"

"Ten I'm not ly- Oh god, please don't cry." But it was too late, Ten was sobbing to himself, staring at Johnny like a wounded puppy. 

"I thought we told each other everything! You were there when I found out, how could you keep this from me?"

"Johnny! Don't make him cry! You know how sensitive he is right now." Xuxi glared at him. He had stuff to do; he couldn't sit around comforting Ten all day. 

"I didn't- I didn't mean to. I'm really not lying, Ten. I'd tell you if I was." Johnny rubbed Ten's shoulder softly, hoping it would calm him down. "I'm really not pregnant."

"Y-You're not?" Ten sniffled, finally starting to believe Johnny. 

"No."

"And you'd tell me if you were?"

"Of course I would. You'd be first to know, after Jaehyun, obviously."

Jaehyun? Wait a minute...

"Is Jaehyun pregnant?"

Johnny froze. Fuck. He wasn't sure he could actually flat out lie to Ten's face. 

"N-"

"Don't lie to me Johnny!" Tens voice broke, beginning to get worked up again. There was clearly something going on here if Johnny was looking at houses and acting all weird. And he didn't like it. They were meant to be best friends. Why wouldn't he just tell him what was going on? "Do you hate me? Is that why you won't tell me? Do you not want to be my friend anymore? Oh my god it's like you're breaking up with me."

Johnny heard a faint whisper of 'oh my god' from across the office from Xuxi as Ten burst out in tears again. 

"No! Of course not you've been my best friend forever, I just promised Jaehyun I wo-" Johnny stopped himself as he realised what he was saying. He was so desperate to get ten to stop crying he almost blurted everything out. Jaehyun would kill him. 

"You promised him what?"

"N-Nothing."

"Johnny." Ten's eyes narrowed, he was starting to get annoyed now. He was pregnant and hormonal and his already short temper had halved since he got knocked up. "You'd tell me if you and Jaehyun were having a baby, right?"

"Mhmm." Johnny nodded, unconvincingly. He had never been great at lying, especially not to Ten. The younger knew all of his tells, like when he'd rapidly tap his heel against the ground...which he was doing right now...and ten was looking straight at it. 

Fuck. 

"Why wouldn't you want to share this with me?" Ten's voice was low, barely above a whisper, not wanting Xuxi to hear even though he was pretty sure he was about to burst out in tears again. 

"There's nothing to sh-" Johnny sighed, the jig was most definitely up. It would only make things worse if he kept trying to lie his way out of this. "We don't want anyone to know yet, Jaehyun's scared it's too soon."

"So...you are having a baby?"

Johnny nodded, a smile spreading across his lips, like it did every time he thought about his and Jaehyun's unborn child. 

"He's about seven weeks along."

"Oh my god! This is so exciting!" Ten leapt out of his chair to throw his arms around Johnny. His best friend was having a baby! He was going to be an uncle! He was going to have someone else to be pregnant with! This was literally the best news ever! "Our babies are gonna be best friends just like we are!"

Johnny laughed as he hugged Ten back. It felt so good to tell someone, to see someone who was just as excited as he was. He just hoped Jaehyun wouldn't be too mad at him. 

"You can't tell anyone though, yeah? Not even Kun." Johnny turned to Xuxi, knowing he had heard because Ten was so damn loud. "You either, Jaehyun wanted to keep this between us for now."

"Who am I going to tell?" Xuxi scoffed. He wasn't sure any of his friends would care that his boss was having a kid. 

"Ten?"

"I won't say anything, I promise!" Ten mimicked zipping his mouth shut. It would be hard keeping something so big from his fiancé, but he wanted to respect Jaehyun's privacy. "I can't guarantee I won't cry the next time I see him, though." 

༓࿇༓

Jaehyun chuckled lowly as Johnny scattered kisses across his shoulder blades. His boyfriend had been showering him with affection since he got home from work. It was a little weird, but Jaehyun just assumed it was because of the baby; Johnny had been extra cuddly since they found out. He wasn't exactly complaining, though. 

But it was actually because of Johnny's guilty conscience. He felt awful for caving and telling Ten. He had betrayed Jaehyun's trust. He knew exactly why the younger didn't want anyone to know yet and he told not one but two people. What an asshole. 

"Mmmm that's nice." Jaehyun let his eyes flutter shut as Johnny pressed a trail of kisses behind his ear, one of his most sensitive spots. He smiled to himself as his boyfriends hand found its way to his stomach, fingers splaying out against abs that probably wouldn't be there much longer. He loved working on his body, but he couldn't imagine he'd want to spend much time in the gym while heavily pregnant. "A little lower."

Johnny did what he was told, cock twitching as Jaehyun moaned lowly. He wanted to make him feel good tonight; make him feel well and truly loved. 

"I've been thinking." Jaehyun started, waiting for Johnny to hum in acknowledgment before continuing. "I don't know if I want to wait six more weeks before telling people. I can't wait to see their faces. Especially Ten's."

Johnny's heart dropped. Oh god. 

"He's going to be so excited. He always wanted you and him to get pregnant at the same time but...hopefully I'll be good enough for him." Jaehyun giggled as Johnny sucked harder on his neck. What had gotten into him tonight? 

He felt a little bad that he had stolen Taeyong's reaction from Johnny, but... it wasn't really his fault. Taeyong had dragged it out of him. 

"I have something to tell you." Jaehyun rolled over into his side so he was facing his boyfriend. "Please don't be mad at me."

Johnny's eyebrows furrowed. What could Jaehyun possibly be talking about? 

"What's up, baby?"

"So you know how I went out for brunch with Taeyong today?"

Johnny nodded. 

"Well, the smell of his car made me really sick and then he was just getting really suspicious and kept asking me all these questions and I'm really sorry but I kinda...told him."

Johnny's eyes widened. "You told him?"

"Yeah!" Jaehyun whined. He felt awful. "I know we agreed to wait but...he's my best friend and he's already been through all of this. I kind of need him, Johnny."

Johnny sighed, smiling softly. That was understandable. Johnny was going to be there for Jaehyun as much as he possibly could, but this wasn't something he had any experience in. 

But...he should really come clean too.

"I....might have told Ten too."

"You what?"

"He saw me looking at houses online and you know what he's like! He can't let anything go. Then he started crying and I just- I felt awful lying to him."

"We're hopeless aren't we?" Jaehyun laughed. It had only been three weeks and they'd both already blabbed to someone. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay, I don't mind them knowing. They're our best friends, after all. And they can give me advice and stuff. I felt a little lonely before telling Taeyong, no offence."

"None taken, I get that you want someone to talk to that's been through all of this, and I haven't. Yet."

"Yet?" Jaehyun quirked an eyebrow. "Maybe we should see how we cope with one first."

"Oh no, we are totally having more. I saw this really cute four bedroom place in Bethnal Green when I was looking today."

"Four?!"

"It's surprisingly cheap! Maybe we should have a look at it sometime."

Jaehyun hummed, nuzzling into his pillow. He absolutely loved their little flat, but he knew it wasn't practical for a baby. It was on the seventh floor and the lift was temperamental at best. He didn't fancy carrying a pushchair up all of those stairs. 

"Does it have a nice kitchen?"

"Yeah. And a big garden...for the dog."

"A dog now too?" Jaehyun groaned. He had hoped Johnny had given up on that now they had a baby on the way. 

"Every kid needs a dog, Jae. I can take it to work during the day."

"If you say so.." Jaehyun yawned, too tired to argue. If he was this wrecked now god knows what a mess he'd be in his third trimester when he's lugging a huge bump around. "Set up a viewing for the house or something."

Johnny smiled to himself as he watched Jaehyun drift off, hair falling into his eyes as he nuzzled even further into the pillow. It was moments like this when Johnny couldn't believe how perfect his boyfriend was. When he knew that this was the man he was going to spend the rest of his life with. Raise a family with.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Jaehyun's forehead, before cuddling into him and whispering into his hair. 

"I love you so much, baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
thank u for reading!


	11. alpha...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting rly real!!!! 
> 
> Also some delicious smut 😋 Jaehyun is a kinky lil bitch

"Oh my god! Congratulations!"

Jaehyun couldn't help but laugh as Ten threw his arms around him, throwing Johnny a look. He was actually happy that people knew. He was so scared of anything happening, of things being jinxed, but at least he would have a whole support group of his friends if god forbid something did go wrong. 

"I'm so excited! I finally have someone to be pregnant with!" Ten bounced on the spot. This was literally the best news. Okay, so Johnny, his best friend in the whole wide world, being pregnant would be the best but Jaehyun was definitely a close second. They were having babies at the same time! And those babies were gonna be best friends too! 

Jaehyun smiled as Ten laced their fingers together, leading him over to the table. He was actually really glad he wouldn't have to go through this alone, that he had someone who was dealing with the same stuff as him. 

He sat himself down next to Ten, smirking at Johnny as the elder sat down on his other side, clearly jealous that Jaehyun had stolen his best friend. Cute. 

They were out for a meal, just ahead of Christmas. It was tradition for them to all go out and get shitfaced in the lead up to the holidays, but things were a little different this year. Taeyong and Taeil didn't want to leave Mark with a baby sitter all night and Ten and Jaehyun couldn't exactly pound the Jaegerbombs, So this year they opted for something a little more civilised, much to Ten's despair. He would have more than happily waltzed into a club at twenty-two weeks pregnant and bust a split on the dance floor completely sober, but the rest of his friends simply shook their heads in disbelief. 

This was nice too though... hopefully. Maybe a bit on the boring side, but it was always nice to be surrounded by his favourite people at Christmas. 

"I still can't believe you are." Taeyong stage-whispered across the circular table as he took his own seat. "I'm going to plan you the best baby shower, don't worry."

"You said my baby shower was going to be the best." Ten pouted, arms folding across his bump. 

"Well... that was until Jaehyun got pregnant. I like him more than you."

"Oh, you've made up your mind then?"

Taeyong paled as his husband spoke up behind him. Fuck. Jaehyun asked him not to say anything and- Wait. What? Maybe Taeil hadn't heard properly...

The four of them stared at Taeil, waiting for some kind of follow up on the comment he made as the eldest of them sat down, placing a glass of wine in front of his husband. 

"Y-Yeah. Since he's having a boy we're gonna go traditional with blue...right?" Taeyong laughed nervously, trying his hardest to get Taeil off of the scent. He hoped to god his husband hadn't actually heard what he said. Maybe he just thought they were talking about baby showers in general...

"You're having a boy too?" Taeil turned to Jaehyun, a wide smile on his lips. "Mark is going to be so excited! He keeps badgering us for a baby brother, but hopefully two new friends to play with will be enough."

Taeyong's eyes widened as he mouthed something like 'I didn't tell him' to Jaehyun, but the younger just laughed softly. 

"Guess I wasn't so subtle the other week, huh?"

"Nah, you kind of gave yourself away but I didn't want to push. I could tell you were freaking out."

Jaehyun caught on to the three sets of eyes staring at him and Taeil in confusion. 

"After I found out I didn't know what to do so I went over to Taeyong's for some advice." He started, trying to clear up the situation. "He was at work but Taeil was in and...Yeah."

"Taeil knew before me?" Ten's jaw dropped. This was ludicrous. 

"Well he didn't say it, but...the whole 'my friend at work is pregnant and doesn't know what to do' story was kind of...transparent." He turned to his husband, squeezing Taeyong's hand in his own. "Sorry for not telling you, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions."

"It's okay." Taeyong pressed a kiss to Taeil's cheek. "That's actually really sweet."

"Anyway." Ten twisted his nose at the gross married couple sat across from him. "You need to come to my antenatal classes. Me and Kun have learnt so much. Like did you have any idea that babies have no kneecaps? What's up with that? Turns out I knew absolutely nothing about babies until I started going. Oh! And you can meet my friend Jungwoo! He's really sweet you're gonna love him! And we can-" 

Ten stopped himself as Kun appeared. He had been to the bathroom and he didn't know about Jaehyun's pregnancy yet either. At least he didn't think he did. Johnny had told him to keep it a secret and being the best friend ever and everything he had, but maybe like Taeil, Kun just knew somehow. 

"Hi, baby!"

Kun side eyed his boyfriend as he took his own seat between him and Taeyong. Why was Ten being so...weird? He had this big ass smile on his face like he was hiding something. And why had everyone gone silent the moment he stepped into the room? 

"...Hi."

"We were just talking about...uh-"

Kun raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'go on then - whatever lie you're going to tell me just go ahead.'

"...breast...feeding?"

"Ten you might as well tell him. The cats kind of out of the bag." Jaehyun scoffed, taking a sip of his water. 

"Really?" Ten's eyes sparkled. He loved how quickly his friends had taken to Kun, the two of them really hadn't been together all that long, this was their first Christmas since they had met and everyone welcomed into their yearly tradition with open arms. And now he was going to be one of the select few to know Jaehyun's big news! Don't cry, Ten. It's not a big deal. 

"Jaehyun's pregnant!"

Kun mouthed an 'oh my god' before turning to Johnny and Jaehyun. "Seriously? Congratulations! That's so amazing. Oh my god, Chipmunk is going to have a little friend!"

"I know, right!" 

Ten giggled, hand over his own bump as his baby kicked. It was like he knew when they were talking about him. "They're literally gonna be best friends I can't wait!"

Jaehyun smiled to himself as Johnny squeezed his leg. He knew it was risky telling people this soon, he was only eight weeks gone, but he was pleased his friends knew. Pleased they were there to support him and help him through this. 

He had definitely made the right decision in keeping the baby. It was going to be hard, but he was so excited to meet this little person he and Johnny had made together. 

He just prayed that nothing was going to happen. 

༓࿇༓

"I met my- ah- midwife today."

"Oh?" Johnny looked up at Jaehyun. Of course he had, how could he have forgotten to ask when he came home from work? Oh, right, because Jaehyun had pounced on him. "How was it?"

"Did I say you could stop?" Jaehyun pushed Johnny's head back down, moaning softly as he took the tip of his cock back in his mouth. "It was good. I like him a lot."

Johnny hummed around Jaehyun's length, indicating he was listening but not wanting to respond properly out of fear of getting told off again.

"He really put me at ease about a lot of things. Exercise, sex, what I should and shouldn't be eating." Jaehyun's fingers absentmindedly carded through Johnny's hair as he spoke. "Even giving birth. I don't feel quite as freaked out now that I know I- oh my god- Now I- fuck. Johnny. Just like that."

Johnny smiled around his cock. Jaehyun had always had this habit of wanting to tell Johnny about his day whilst he went down on him, and then never being able to finish as he let himself give him to the pleasure.

"He's really nice." Jaehyun sighed, legs spreading a little more as he pushed his hips forward into Johnny's warmth. "Kinda hot too."

"Seriously?" Johnny looked up at Jaehyun, the younger whining as his saliva soaked cock was exposed to the cold air. "I have your dick in my mouth and you're talking about how hot your midwife is?"

"You're so cute when you get all jealous." Jaehyun's bottom lip jutted out mockingly, fingers wrapping around his cock so he could tap the head against Johnny's cheek. "Maybe if you had have been there you would have seen for yourself..."

Johnny sighed, he knew Jaehyun wasn't totally happy with him missing the appointment, but he really couldn't miss out on such a huge opportunity. Not considering the position he and Ten were currently in. It wouldn't be long until his best friend and business partner would be going on maternity leave himself, so they had to secure as many jobs as they could while they had the extra pair of hands. Even if more often than not Ten just sat around and whined that he was hungry while he and Xuxi did all of the work. But still. They both had kids on the way, and that wasn't going to come cheap.

"You know I wish I could have been there, Peachy. I'm sorry."

Jaehyun rolled his eyes at the ridiculous nickname Johnny had given him back when they were in university, unable to stop a soft smile crawling into his lips.

"I know. I just want you to meet him; he's gonna be a big part of my life over the next few months."

"Next time. I promise." Johnny looked up at Jaehyun with those big chocolatey eyes of his and how could he possibly not believe him? Johnny had never let him down before. 

"Now, are you gonna finish what you started?"

Jaehyun pushed Johnny's head down, just a little, to guide him back to his cock, to pick up where he had left off, but he was met with more resistance than he first anticipated.

"Depends if you're going to stop talking about your hot midwife." Jaehyun suppressed a whimper as Johnny's voice dropped an octave. 

Possessiveness was a massive turn on for him, he liked it when his partner got all jealous because his boyfriend was thinking about someone else, the only problem was, Johnny was the least possessive person on the planet. He would never even dream of telling Jaehyun he couldn't talk to someone, especially not a midwife that had come so highly recommended by Taeyong. He wasn't going to put his baby at risk just because the guy happened to be attractive.

But this was the perfect opportunity to play around with Jaehyun, to really make him squirm, and he had gotten pretty good at playing the controlling asshole role that turned his boyfriend into a whimpering, drooling mess.

"Or if I have to make you stop."

Jaehyun's eyes widened as Johnny pressed the pad of his thumb to his entrance. Holy fuck. _Please_. His sex drive was through the roof lately, and ever since Taeyong had dropped him off at home after his appointment, all he could think about was Johnny's cock stretching him out. He had tried his hardest to take his mind off of things, cleaning the kitchen to ignore the bulge growing in his jeans, but there was only so much he could take.

Which led to Johnny coming home to the sight of his boyfriend, face flushed as he rutted against one of the cushions on their sofa.

"J-Johnny." 

"What's wrong, baby? Do you want me to finish you off, cause I know how desperate you were to come when I got home, or am I going to have to teach you some manners?"

Jaehyun whined as Johnny pulled down, tugging his hole open slightly. He wanted it so bad, but admitting that and begging for it would ruin the little game they were playing. He wanted to rile Johnny up. He wanted to be fucked into next week because he had flipped that switch in his boyfriend's mind that made him go full Dom. He wanted to be a little brat and have the bruises to show for it the next day.

"You know, maybe you shouldn't come to my next appointment. He's gonna have me all spread out in his office..." Jaehyun moaned lowly, lips quirking into a smirk as he watched Johnny's eyes narrow, as he watched him slip into that headspace that meant Jaehyun was going to be in for the ride of his life. "And his fingers? God-"

Jaehyun was cut off as lips collided against his. Johnny had moved so fast he hadn't even registered that his boyfriend wasn't between his legs anymore. His fingers tangled themselves in dark hair as Johnny rammed his tongue down Jaehyun's throat, their teeth clashing against one another's. Just how Jaehyun liked it.

"Stop it." Johnny glowered as he pulled back, staring Jaehyun dead in the eye. But his boyfriend didn't even flinch; he wanted to keep pushing his luck.

"Stop what? Don't you want to hear about my appointment?" Jaehyun asked innocently, eyelashes fluttering. "He told me all about the best antenatal classes I should be going to, and when he sat down I could see the outline of his dick through his pants and then I stopped listening because all I could think about was him bending me over his desk and-"

Jaehyun's eyes screwed shut as he was cut off again, but not by a kiss, no, this time Johnny had stuck two fingers between his lips, making it impossible to carry on. It made him gag a little, but he sucked anyway, tongue swirling around the digits because he knew what was coming. He had Johnny exactly where he wanted him.

"That's better." Johnny mused, fingers stroking through Jaehyun's hair as the younger sucked. "I prefer you when you're quiet."

Jaehyun whined as Johnny withdrew his fingers, just as he was getting into it.

"You normally love it when I scream your name, but if you don't want me to be loud, then..." he trailed off, and Johnny just knew he was going to say something to antagonise him next. That's just what Jaehyun did best. "Maybe I'll just save that for him."

"Jaehyun." Johnny's tone was low, a warning for him to stop. But was he going to? Of course not. He loved playing the bratty role. The role that riled his Dom up to the point he would snap and take it out on him with his cock. He needed to push Johnny as much as he could to get what he wanted.

"Do you want to know his name, so you can imagine what I'm screaming when you aren't there? He's called Yut-Ah!"

Jaehyun cried out as Johnny shoved a finger inside of him without any warning. Holy fuck. Yes.

"Don't even think about it." Johnny hissed, lips locking with his boyfriends.

Jaehyun whined against Johnny's lips as he pumped a finger in and out of him. It wasn't enough. He needed more. 

"Imagine-" he breathed out, pulling away from Johnny for a second to speak, only to get a tongue rammed down his throat to shut him up. "Him stretching me out- like this- Ah!" Johnny shoved another finger in him. "I'm so sensitive he's gonna make me come when he's examining me."

Johnny pulled back, eyes dark as they met Jaehyun's. He had him right where he wanted him. 

"You just don't know when to stop, do you?" Jaehyun squirmed as Johnny crooked his fingers. "Am I going to have to put a ring on you whenever you go see him? Because there is no way anyone else is making my Omega come."

Jaehyun let out a breathy 'fuck'. He absolutely loved when Johnny called him that. 

He still remembered the first time he had broached the kink with his boyfriend. 

Jaehyun wasn't afraid to admit that he was a bit of a nerd, especially when he was younger, and that throughout college he had spent a good deal of his spare time reading One Direction fanfiction. It relaxed him. He liked that he could pick up a story without having to get to know the characters or try to visualise what they looked like because he already knew. He was a lazy reader, and fanfiction meant he barely had to use his own imagination. 

But it wasn't just that. It was the smut. fanfiction had opened his eyes to a while range of tropes and kinks he would never have known existed because he didn't consider himself to be all that adventurous when it came to sex. 

But that all changed when he started dating Johnny. He felt safe with him, like he could trust him, like if he was going to try all of these weird and wonderful things that turned him on, he was going to do it with Johnny. 

And he was scared, terrified his boyfriend would think he was a freak for even wanting to role play this thing that was almost animalistic, but... Johnny was on board. He absolutely revelled in the way Jaehyun begged for his cock, desperate to be filled. 

And it only got better now he was pregnant. They had to be careful beforehand, and condoms didn't really go with the whole Alpha stuffing his Omega with come to breed him thing. But now they could go as far as they wanted. Jaehyun was already pregnant, not like he was going to get accidentally knocked up again. 

"Alpha..." Jaehyun whined, pushing himself down on Johnny's fingers, but they were already down to the knuckle. He needed more. "Please."

"Please what? Use your words, Jaehyun. You were being so mouthy before, what happened?"

"Your cock- I need your cock."

"Oh?" Johnny quirked an eyebrow. "So now you want me? Not your midwife? What was his name?"

Jaehyun nodded enthusiastically. He did. He wanted Johnny's cock so bad. He needed to be filled by more than just a couple of fingers. He needed Johnny. 

"Doesn't matter. Alpha, please. Want you to fuck me. Only you."

Johnny hummed, that was more like it. Part of him wanted to tease Jaehyun further like he had to him earlier, but the other part just wanted to stick his dick in his boyfriend. And that part was definitely winning.

"Bedroom. I want you ready and dripping."

Jaehyun tried to keep his breath steady as Johnny pulled his fingers out, as he backed off, giving him space to slink off of the sofa and into their bedroom. 

He knew exactly what Johnny wanted from him. He wanted him prepared, his hole gaping and ready to be filled. 

He lay back on the bed after grabbing a bottle of lube from one of their drawers and squeezed an excessive amount over his entrance. Peach. Johnny's favourite flavour. He said it was exactly how he expected Jaehyun to taste. It made him jump a little, not bothering to warm it up, but he didn't have time. He knew it wouldn't be long until Johnny joined him, and he had to be ready. 

He pulled his knees up to his chest, getting himself in position. He wouldn't be able to do this for much longer - not when his bump began to grow. He had better make the most of it. 

He slid two fingers in, picking up where Johnny left off, scissoring them back and forth, stretching himself out with haste. He wanted Johnny in him so badly. He had been so on edge all day, desperate to be touched. To be fucked. It really was like he was in heat. 

Jaehyun groaned to himself at the thought as he slipped a third finger in, squeezing another lashing of lube over his hole for good measure. He didn't need it, but when Johnny said he wanted him dripping, Jaehyun knew he meant it. He would have just fucked him on the sofa if not. 

"Alpha..." He whined to himself pathetically, no idea whether Johnny would be able to hear him or not. He didn't really care either way. He felt so good right now all he needed was for Johnny to yank his hand away from his hole and replace it with his cock. Fuck. He was so hard. Precome dribbling out onto his stomach, fingers brushing up against his prostate. He needed more. 

Which was why he added a fourth, head tilting back against the pillows at the stretch. Johnny wanted him ready, and this would ensure he was. He went back in with the lube one more time, feeling it run down to his tailbone. He was absolutely covered in the stuff, just like the needy little Omega he was. 

"Look at the state of you."

Jaehyun's eyes fluttered open, finding Johnny standing over him. He looked so fucking...big. Wide shoulders, one massive hand pushing his knee, spreading him impossibly wide. Johnny wasn't even that much taller than him, but he always seemed so much bigger. More powerful. And Jaehyun absolutely loved that. Especially when he was in such a submissive headspace. 

"Alpha, please- Need you."

Johnny chuckled, undoing his belt so painfully slowly Jaehyun could have probably come just from watching. He was so fucking on edge, hormones driving him crazy. It really was like he was in heat. 

"You're absolutely pathetic." He loved when Jaehyun got like this. So needy. So desperate. Because he was usually the tease, and this gave Johnny a chance to get his own back. "Tell me what you want."

Jaehyun gaped as Johnny dropped his jeans, ripping off his t-shirt not much longer. As if that wasn't obvious.

But Johnny liked to hear him beg. And that's what good Omegas did, right? 

"Your cock! I want your cock in me so bad! Look how wet I am for you, Alpha." Jaehyun pulled his knees as close to his chest as he possibly could, making sure Johnny got a proper view of everything. "Please- Your little Omega needs fucked."

Johnny scoffed, looking down at the mess in front of him. The sheets were covered in Jaehyun's fake slick, precome dribbling onto his stomach. Shame he didn't have a camera around, really. 

"And you think a slutty little Omega like you deserves that?"

Jaehyun yelped as Johnny's palm made contact with his exposed hole, the sting of the slap rippling through his body for a second or two.

"You'd let just about anyone fuck you, and you think you deserve it?"

Another slap - this one made Jaehyun's eyes screw shut for a split second, opening to find Johnny pushing his boxers down, hard cock springing free. 

Oh god. 

Yes. 

That was exactly what he wanted. 

"Please! I wouldn't- I'm yours, all yours Alpha!"

"You sure about that?"

Jaehyun whimpered as he received a third slap, his entrance clenching around nothing. He needed Johnny inside him so bad. He had been such a good little omega and stretched himself out already, he was gaping and ready for his Alpha's cock. 

"Yes! No one else gets to fuck me, only you. No one else gets to breed me. I belong to you."

Johnny growled low in his throat. _No one else gets to breed me. _Jaehyun was carrying his baby. _His. _That made his lips quirk up. Jaehyun really did belong to him, didn't he? 

"That's right, that's my baby in there, isn't it?" Jaehyun nodded as Johnny's fingers splayed out across his stomach. Jaehyun wasn't even showing yet, but they had seen the scans. There was definitely a little baby growing in there. A little baby that was half Jaehyun and half Johnny. "That makes you mine forever."

Jaehyun moaned, eyes fluttering shut as Johnny lined up at his entrance, the tip of his cock dipping into his wet, gaping hole. 

"I am yours forever." Jaehyun's voice was dreamy, he sounded almost as if he was intoxicated. But that was just the effect Johnny had on him. "Your mate."

Johnny chuckled to himself, cupping Jaehyun's jaw with one had as he leaned in to kiss him. 

"My mate. My perfect little Omega."

Jaehyun gasped out as Johnny finally pushed in on that last syllable. Oh god yes. Finally. He had been so fucking horny all day. It was all he could think about thanks to these stupid pregnancy hormones and the fact Taeyong took a route home that involved so many speed bumps did not help matters. It was a miracle he didn't come there and then in his best friend's car. That's how sensitive he was. 

But now he had Johnny inside of him, and he wasn't holding back. He was fucking Jaehyun like his very life depended on it. Just how he liked it. Knees pressed up against his chest, leaving him vulnerable and exposed. Johnny's tongue lapping away at his own, the only thing stopping him from crying out over and over and disturbing the neighbours. He had one hand fisted in dark hair, the other reached behind him to grip onto the headboard in some feeble attempt to ground himself as Johnny ploughed into him over and over with such force it made Jaehyun's eyes water. 

This was what he had been dreaming of all day, and now it was finally here, Jaehyun could genuinely say he was on cloud nine. 

"Alpha!" Jaehyun cried out as Johnny hit him right in the prostate, a burning wave of pleasure setting every nerve ending in his body alight, forcing precome to squirt from his cock. Holy fuck. He wasn't sure how long he was going to last. "Right there. Please. More."

"More? God, you really are a little whore, aren't you? Baby Omega just can't get enough."

Jaehyun moaned in response as Johnny latched onto his neck. 

"Mark me. Please." He didn't care if he had work tomorrow. He'd turned up in worse states. "Please, Alpha. Make sure everyone knows I'm yours."

Johnny growled against Jaehyun's skin, some primal part of him coming to life at the idea. He loved leaving Jaehyun covered in bite marks and hickies. Fuck the fact they were in their mid-twenties, and that was considered a completely juvenile thing. He loved it. He loved everyone knowing Jaehyun was taken - by him. This was _his _boyfriend. _His_ Omega. _His_ baby mama. 

So he bit down, the scream from his boyfriend going straight to his cock. He sunk his teeth into Jaehyun's skin and he sucked. Hard. He wanted Jaehyun to look like he'd been ravaged. Because to be fair, he had. 

"Alpha." Jaehyun practically sobbed, nails digging into Johnny's back. He was so close already. He wanted to hold on, he really did, but he was so sensitive and his hormones were all over the place - he wasn't sure he could. "Wanna come."

"Already?" Johnny pulled back, smirking when he saw the state of his boyfriend. Jaehyun's eyes were wet, his entire face bright red, a little pool of precome forming on his stomach. Cute. "Don't you want Alpha to breed you, baby?"

Jaehyun whimpered as Johnny's fingers ran along the shaft of his cock. _Breed him. _They never got to do this without protection, worried about an unexpected pregnancy. But it was too late for that. Johnny could pump him full of as much come as he desired. 

"Yes! Fill me up. Please. Put another baby in me!" Jaehyun clawed feebly at Johnny's chest. He was beginning to lose touch with reality - his head spinning from the waves of pleasure that were washing over him. He wanted to come so bad. 

But he wanted Johnny to come first. To come inside of him. Really fill him up. 

_Another baby?_

The way Jaehyun spoke made Johnny feel positively feral. 

"Another one? God, you're so desperate to be bred, aren't you baby? Such a pathetic little Omega. All you're good for." 

Jaehyun whined as Johnny picked the pace up as he slammed into his boyfriend. He was definitely going to feel that in the morning. He chanted Johnny's name over and over, spurring him on, urging him to come. To fill him up. He couldn't remember the last time Johnny cane inside of him and he was absolutely gagging for it. 

"Johnny- Alpha- Please. Knot me."

A few more thrusts- That was all Johnny needed. Just a few more and-

"Jaehyun!"

Johnny's arms gave way as he climaxed, crashing down into top of his boyfriend as he spilled inside of him. And Jaehyun moaned at the sensation, as hot come sprayed his walls white. He moaned so loud Johnny was sure he had come himself. Or he would have been if he could feel a stickiness coating their bodies. 

He reached his hand between the two of them, fingers wrapping around Jaehyun's cock to get him off, his hips still stuttering inside of the younger, milking his own orgasm. He would love to keep fucking into Jaehyun at full belt, but he had come so hard it had practically wiped him out. 

"Come on, baby, come for me. Come for Alpha."

Jaehyun writhed around under Johnny, fingers clawing into the bedsheets. He was so, so sensitive. He wanted to come -he really did - But he felt like his body was going into overdrive. Like it was stopping him from actually-

And then it happened. Johnny dipped his thumb into the slit of Jaehyun's cock and he all but exploded everywhere. 

He let out a cry so loud his voice broke as he finally came, shooting strings of white all over his and Johnny's torsos. His hearing went static for a second, sight blacking out as orgasm rippled through his body. He could never remember coming this hard before. He felt like he was going to pass out. Like the crosses into another dimension or something. 

"Oh my god." He breathed as he came back down to reality. "Oh my god, that- Oh my god."

Johnny laughed time himself, pushing up on his elbows so he could give Jaehyun a little room to breathe. His chest was heaving so dramatically he looked like he was having an asthma attack. 

"Need your inhaler?"

Jaehyun nodded. Holy fuck. No orgasm had ever taken it out of him like that before. He held his hand out for the device, taking a deep breath of the drug as he sprayed it into his airways. 

"Oh my god."

Johnny laughed again. That seemed to be all Jaehyun was able to say. 

"I take it that was good?"

Jaehyun nodded. Furiously. That was- Otherworldly. He couldn't even explain it. 

"Do you think it's the hormones? Because that was- That was the best sex I've ever had."

"Seriously?" Johnny quirked an eyebrow. "Better than when we went to Amsterdam?"

"Oh god yeah. Jesus I hope all pregnant sex is that good. You'll be putting another baby in me in nine months' time if it is."

Johnny smiled, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's lips. He was happy Jaehyun seemed happy. He had been so unsure about this whole thing to start with, but now they knew they were having a little baby all of their own, he genuinely seemed over the moon. 

"You really are a pathetic little Omega, aren't you, baby?"

Jaehyun laughed a little as Johnny pressed kisses along his jawline. 

"Getting knocked up is all I'm good for."

"Hey, don't put yourself down. You're good at loads of things." Johnny pressed a kiss to the tip of Jaehyun's nose this time. "Like sucking my cock, making me come…"

There were a million things Jaehyun was good at, but Johnny could tell his boyfriend was still horny. That he was still in sub space and wanted to be treated like nothing more than a sex toy. 

"Wanna make you come again." Jaehyun whimpered, clenching around Johnny's soft cock, which was still buried deep inside of him. "Fuck me again. Please."

Johnny's lips quirked up. How the fuck could he say no to that? 

"Anything for my baby mama."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
thank u for reading!


	12. merry christmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do u mean its april? and it's actually sunny outside?? flowers are blooming and baby lambs are being birthed?????  
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!  
god this shows how fucked up my posting schedule is alkdhjks hnnnnn  
BUT this is soft and warm and fluffy who wouldn't want to know how all he lil families are spending their christmas??

Jungwoo was feeling a little lighter lately. He didn't know whether it was the medication or the therapy, but...he almost felt happy. Like he was getting back to his old self. 

He had never imagined that talking would help so much. That voicing his issues to his therapist and learning that it was perfectly normal to feel that way would make him feel better. He didn't feel so isolated or completely and utterly useless anymore. 

Lots of pregnant people felt like this, especially if it was their first time. They feel scared and worried they wouldn't be able to do a good job because this was all so new to them. They weren't sure what the future would hold and of course that was anxiety inducing. Jungwoo was glad to find out that he wasn't the only one that felt like this, and that in itself was comforting. 

It didn't mean he was going to be a terrible parent. It just meant he had to believe in himself more - because there had been millions of people in the same position he was in in the past and they were all doing just fine. 

It made him believe that maybe he could do okay too. 

Maybe he would be a good parent after all. 

Doyoung coming to the odd session helped too. He didn't feel so alone now his husband knew exactly what was going on in his head. Now that he was really helping. 

Of course Doyoung was still busy with work, but now he wouldn't hesitate to drop something if it meant helping his husband out. Every shared therapy appointment they had Doyoung had turned up to, and he hadn't missed a single antenatal class since they had talked. 

It solidified the fact they were in this together to Jungwoo. It didn't feel like he was coping with this on his own anymore. They were a unit, and they were strong and they were so in love and...They were about to bring a baby into the world. 

Jungwoo knew that he still had a way to go. That he still had to overcome his anxiety disorder, and learn how to cope with things better. But he was definitely beginning to get his old spark back, and things were starting to feel like they did before the depression hit. 

And that's how he found himself stood outside of a little boutique he remembered Ten rambling on about a few weeks ago. Jungwoo couldn't remember the last time he bought something regarding the pregnancy or their baby, but it must have been months ago. 

He pushed the door open, a little bell jingling to alert the owner that someone was there. 

He felt like...he could do this.

It was almost Christmas, and...Well he hadn't gotten anything for the baby yet, considering. But he felt like that was kind of harsh. Sure it wasn't even born yet, but this was his first Christmas with his baby. 

_His_ baby. 

It really was beginning to feel like his. His and Doyoung's. A baby they made together and they had wanted so bad. Now the bad thoughts were beginning to clear it was like he could remember that. Remember what he had wanted. 

He couldn't be happier that he had been referred to a therapist before diving into an abortion when his head wasn't in the right place. That would have been a massive mistake. Imagine if he had...

If he had went through with that, and then started feeling better, started feeling like he did now. Well. He didn't even want to dwell on it, because he'd end up making himself sick again. He wasn't going to think about that anymore - because it was no longer an option. He was keeping this baby, and maybe it would be hard, and maybe he would get things wrong sometimes, but he had Doyoung, and together they were going to be unstoppable. 

He was going to have a baby. And he was going to do everything in his power to raise it the best he could. 

But he wasn't going to be some housewife. That was the last thing he wanted. 

He and Doyoung have talked about this extensively. How Jungwoo felt like he was going to lose everything he'd working so hard for in his career. How he was terrified of being the one that would mainly look after their child. He didn't want to stay off work. Once he had recovered from the pregnancy he wanted to go back because he couldn't let all of those years and all of that stress go to waste. 

And Doyoung had agreed. 

Doyoung had actually agreed to be a stay at home father and raise their child until he or she was old enough to go to school. 

Jungwoo couldn't believe it, but Doyoung was really excited by the idea. He was going to end up with the company anyway, so he figured why not? He would love to take a couple of years out and raise their baby while Jungwoo did the job he loved. 

It made Jungwoo wish he had have just raised the issues with his husband to start with. That he had have just talked to Doyoung instead of letting everything get on top of him and ending up in a really dark place. Maybe the last few months never would have happened; he may have never had those thoughts. 

But there was no point worrying over that now. He couldn't change the fact he had antenatal depression and that had made him question whether he could cope with having a baby. Right now he had to focus on the future. He had to focus on getting better and learning to open up to help prevent anything like this happening again. He had to try and stay positive and keep going to his therapy sessions and prepare himself for the baby he was going to bring into the world. 

And that's exactly what he was going to do. 

"Can I help you with anything?"

Jungwoo looked up from the little woolly jumper he had in his hands as the shop assistant spoke up. 

"I- I don't really know what I want."

"Is it for yours...or a gift for someone else?"

"F-For mine." Jungwoo smiled softly, placing his hand over his bump. This was going to be the first item of clothing he had bought his baby. He wanted it to be perfect. "I need to start getting stuff and... Well, I kind of wanted to get my husband a Christmas present. We've had a rough few months."

The girl nodded, asking if Jungwoo was having a boy or a girl.

"We don't know. Want it to be a surprise."

"Then you should go with white. People go crazy for white. Trust me, and..." the girl trotted off to fetch something she wanted to show Jungwoo. "Dungarees! Just look how cute these are! Is there anything more adorable than a baby in a little pair of dungarees?"

Jungwoo gasped a little as she handed the item of clothing over to him. It was...tiny. Well, obviously it was tiny. It was for a baby. But god it felt so little. Was his baby really going to be that small when it was first born? Would its little legs fit into the soft grey denim? It made his heart race a little. But...in a good way. He didn't feel sick to his stomach holding the tiny dungarees. They didn't fill him with dread. They made him excited. Excited about the fact his little baby could be wearing these in just a few months. 

"And how about these little socks to go with them?"

"Oh my god." Jungwoo breathed as he took them off of her. They were adorable. He didn't know socks could be so fucking cute. Socks. They were white with little rainbow coloured stars on, matching the embroidery on the little chest pocket of the dungarees. They were perfect for a baby boy or girl. 

He had to get them. 

Jungwoo picked a little plain white short sleeved t-shirt to go underneath. He knew white probably wasn't the best colour for a messy new-born, but he didn't care. He had fallen in love. 

"Is there anything else you need?"

Jungwoo glanced around the store. He did. He needed so fucking much. Blankets and pacifiers and toys and a mobile to hang over the crib and way more than just one outfit. He needed everything. 

He ran his fingers over a muted grey blanket with little white bunny silhouettes on. He didn't want to buy everything without Doyoung being here, he felt a little mean taking that away from his husband considering how excited he had been throughout Jungwoo's entire pregnancy. 

But maybe getting a couple of things wouldn't hurt. 

"There is, actually."

༓࿇༓

"Daddy!" 

Taeyong groaned as stubby fingers patted at his face, one jabbing into his eyelid. 

He turned his head away a little before opening his eyes, not wanting to be blinded by his first born. 

Why was Mark in his bed anyway? Where was Taeil? 

"Merry Christmas, baby."

Taeyong smiled as he finally found his husband. Taeil was stood on the other side of the bed with a cup of tea in his hands, another already on Taeyong's bedside table. 

"Merry Christmas." Taeyong spoke against Taeil's lips as the elder leaned in to kiss him. "Why didn't you wake me up to go get him?"

Taeil rolled his eyes at Taeyong's pout. He was so invested in making his sons second Christmas perfect that he didn't want to miss moment. 

"You were up until 3am wrapping the last minute presents you bought. I figured you could do with the extra sleep while I changed him."

Taeyong's pout lessened a little. That was cute. Taeil was cute. 

"Are you excited to see what Santa brought?" Taeyong turned his attention back to the sixteen month old who simply clapped his hands in response. Taeil had changed him into a little reindeer onesie (mainly because he had made a total mess of his Christmas pyjamas in the middle of the night) and he looked so adorable. Even more than usual. 

Mark clearly had no idea what was going on, but his parents being excited over whatever made him excited too!

"Anta!" He tried to repeat, not quite getting it right, as Taeil scooped him up ready to go downstairs. He hadn't even seen the damage Taeyong had done himself, going to bed way before his husband. He just couldn't help spoiling Mark. He just wanted to give him the best life possible. 

"Come on, then. Let's go open all your presents!"

Taeyong jumped out of bed so he could follow his husband and son downstairs. He was pretty sure he was more excited than Mark was, considering his little baby had no idea what was actually going on. 

He just wanted to spoil him. Especially since it was beginning to look like Mark was going to end up an only child…

But Taeyong wasn't going to allow himself to think about that today. They were going to be happy today. 

He was going to spend the morning with his husband and his son, opening Mark's presents for him despite knowing what was inside of them because he probably wouldn't be able to do it himself. It was still so exciting. Mark deserved to be showered with gifts and love because he was the best thing that he and Taeil had ever done. He was perfect and Taeyong wouldn't change him for the world. 

And then later that afternoon Jaehyun and Johnny were coming over for dinner. Taeyong had a big four course meal planned and he was beyond excited to dish up the chestnut stuffing recipe he'd been working on. It was delicious, even if he did say so himself. 

They were going to have an amazing Christmas. Him, his favourite boys and his best friends. He had even bought Jaehyun a pair of knitted booties for the baby which he absolutely could not resist buying when he saw them!

Even if it made his heart hurt just a little. 

He should be buying them for his baby. The one he should be pregnant with right now. 

The one he had a week to make before it was game over. 

He and Taeil had agreed to call it quits if they weren't pregnant again by the end of the year and… January was approaching. Really fucking fast. 

He was never going to have another baby, was he? He was going to have to watch Jaehyun and Ten go through their pregnancies and-

No!

What was he thinking? 

He couldn't begrudge Jaehyun and Ten their pregnancies, or their babies… They were both so happy and- He was just being bitter and jealous because he wanted that so badly too. 

He was happy for them, he really was. Jaehyun was his best friend and he and Ten had been close for years. He _was _happy for them. 

He just wished it was him instead. Or as well.

He wanted another baby so fucking badly. 

"Babe?"

Taeyong's vision seemed to blur a little, zoning out as he stared at the floor. Or… was it because he was welling up?

"Dada!"

He blinked as Mark called his name, that paternal instinct snapping back instantly. His baby wanted him, needed him. He had to stop thinking about what he didn't have and appreciate what he did. 

"What? Daddy's here, pumpkin." He giggled, scooping Mark up in his arms, quickly trying to wipe away his tears with the back of his wrist at the same time, hoping Taeil wouldn't notice. 

But he did. Of course he did. 

"Are you okay?"

"Of course." Taeyong painted on a fake smile. He had told himself he wasn't going to think about that today. They were meant to be happy; it was Christmas, after all! He didn't want to burden Taeil, didn't want his husbands mind to go down the same track. "I'm just being stupid. Look how cute he is."

Taeil smiled softly as Taeyong lifted Marks arm to wave at his other father. 

"You're so soppy." He reached over to thumb away his husband's tears. "And Faddy's right. You _are _adorable." He pressed a kiss to his son's forehead, making Mark squeal with excitement. He really had no idea what was going on but he was surrounded by lots of brightly coloured paper and his parents were giving him so much attention! This was a good day! 

"He gets that from you."

Taeyong rolled his eyes. Taeil had always been a charmer, but in the greasiest way possible. 

He would be lying if he said he didn't love it, though. 

"We have enough cheese for the fourth course without you starting." Though, Taeil covered in balsamic onion chutney? He probably wouldn't say no. "Let's grab his presents and start opening them or I'll run out of time to prepare dinner."

To say Mark was spoiled would be an understatement. Taeyong just couldn't help himself. He knew there was a very high possibility that he and Taeil would have to look into IVF soon, and that wouldn't come cheap, but Mark deserved the entire world. He didn't mind dipping into their funds and splashing out on his pride and joy. 

Plus, there was a part of him that didn't want to admit that they would ever come to that. 

He was completely and utterly in denial. 

"Oh this is just adorable." Taeyong gasped as he held up the little outfit Taeil had picked out and wrapped from him to open. "You can wear this later when Uncle Johnny and Jaehyun come over."

"I still can't believe you invited them." Taeil sighed as he scooped a bunch of torn paper up in his arms. He had been hoping for a nice quiet day, just the three of them. It would have been nice to spend some time with Taeyong and Mark without having to think about the whole pregnancy thing. 

"They're my best friends! Jaehyun's stressed right now and you know neither of them can cook to save their lives."

Taeil hummed. He knew the real reason - Taeyong wanted to feel like he was still in control of something. Still the best at something. He couldn't have a baby when he wanted so he was going to throw the best Christmas dinner any of them had ever seen. 

Taeyong liked to think he played his cards close to his chest but Taeil could see right through him. 

"You're not mad are you? I asked weeks ago and you were fine with it."

Taeil simply exhaled through his nose in response before picking Mark up. He better get to making some breakfast. 

"I said I would have preferred to spend the day with my husband and our son, but if that's what you wanted then go for it."

Taeyong's shoulders slumped a little. Had… Had Taeil really said that? 

"Then why did you just say no?"

"Cause you would have argued until you got your way regardless. And we've been fighting enough lately. I'm sick of it."

"Tae-"

"It's fine, Taeyong." Taeil held his hand up, signalling the conversation was over. "I'm going to make Mark his oatmeal. You- you go baste the turkey or whatever."

༓࿇༓

"Merry Christmas."

Ten smiled to himself as he rolled over to face his fiancé. It was their first Christmas together, and they didn't have anything in particular planned, they just wanted to spend the way with one another. Taeyong and Taeil had invited them over for dinner but Ten was so tired he just couldn't be bothered. 

"Merry Christmas, Daddy."

"You can't seriously be horny."

"I'm always horny." Ten whined, leg hooking over the elders. "And it's annoying cause I'm so big and fat and we can't do any of the good positions anymore."

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you you're not fat."

"You're not denying I'm big though."

"Well..." Kun cocked his head to the side a little. Ten was twenty three weeks gone, but according to his midwife he looked closer to twenty-seven. 

"You bitch!" Ten gasped, playfully hitting Kun in the stomach, winding him a little. 

"You're beautiful." Kun smiled, after he recovered. He lay one hand on Ten's bump, the other on his own stomach, protecting himself in case Ten decided to give him another loving Christmas gift. "The most beautiful non-binary Princess I've ever seen."

Ten giggled softly. Kun was gross and cheesy, but... he kind of liked gross and cheesy now. It made his stomach flutter. Well, it was either that or wind, but it made him smile regardless. 

"Then show me."

"You seriously don't want to open any of your presents first?" Kun knew Ten was a little slut, even more so with all of those pregnancy hormones coursing through his system, and he most certainly wasn't letting his size slow him down. But he was also a bit of a brat, and Kun was genuinely surprised he wasn't dragging him out of bed to go open his gifts. 

Ten whined. He did, but...they were so far away. All the way downstairs. Whereas Kun's cock was right here. Within reaching distance. 

"I was thinking we should start a new tradition. Since it's our first Christmas." Ten sat up on his elbow, looking down at his fiancé. There was no way this was going to be their only Christmas together. They may as well begin making traditions now. "We wake up and we fuck."

Kun chuckled softly under his breath. Of course. 

"Then you make me breakfast in bed and bring it up here."

Kun scoffed. "Oh yeah?"

"I'll have a bacon sandwich with brown sauce please." Ten smirked back. "And also from now on we should keep the presents up here so we don't even have to go down stairs. Well, I don't. You need to make my sandwich obviously."

"And what about when Chipmunk comes along? You really think he's gonna want to wait to open his presents on Christmas morning because Mommy can't keep it in his pants?"

Ten whined. Okay, so maybe it couldn't be a new tradition, that probably wasn't going to work out with having a baby in the future. But that didn't change the fact he wanted fucked right now. 

"Then we should go out with a bang, right? Literally. Our first and last Christmas just the two of us. What better way to spend it than in my ass?"

Kun laughed to himself, head falling against the pillow as he looked up at his fiancé. Ten really was something else. And that was what Kun loved about him the most. 

"I mean, I can't deny that sounds amazing, but I kinda of want to see you open your gifts." Kun brushed his fingers against Ten's cheek. He had a pretty big surprise for him downstairs. "Then we can do whatever you want while dinner is cooking."

"What did you get me?"

"Well that would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?"

"You're so annoying." Ten pouted. He knew what Kun was like with his surprises, though - if their engagement was anything to go by. "You're gonna have to make it up to me later. I wanna stick it in you."

"Oh, that can definitely be arranged." Kun quirked an eyebrow. That wasn't something they'd done as of late, it becoming ever more difficult for Ten to move, but...he was sure they could figure out a position that was comfortable for both of them. "But right now, you need to get ready and come downstairs."

So, Ten did as he was told. He slipped into one of the ridiculous Christmas themed pregnancy shirts Johnny had gotten him - only because it was loose fitting and comfy, he wouldn't never give Johnny the satisfaction of actually know he had it on - and he let Kun lead him downstairs, before the elder covered his eyes as they made it to the living room. 

Ten had butterflies. He couldn't deny that he was a spoilt Princess and absolutely loved gifts and surprises. And Kun knew him so fucking well - even in the short time they'd been together, he knew exactly what Ten liked. 

"Okay, open up!"

Ten blinked as Kun removed his hands from his eyes to reveal...what was that? A big sheet of paper? This wasn't exactly the exciting gift he was hoping for. It wasn't even wrapped... What was this? 

"Maybe this will give you a little hint." Kun passed Ten an actual wrapped up gift, hoping everything would make sense. 

Ten sat himself down on their sofa, ripping the paper apart. He loved presents so much, he always got so excited opening them, especially gifts from Kun, but...so far he was just confused. 

But this was...a book? A big book with a little watercolour Chipmunk on the front of it. Cute. 

Ten opened it up, jaw dropping as he realised what was inside. 

The book was filled with pictures of him and Kun. With every scan they'd had so far and even the pregnancy test Ten insisted on taking after he refused to believe the doctor. Okay, that was a little gross, but...it was cute. He had no idea Kun had kept all of this stuff. 

But it didn't end there. The book had so many candid pictures of him in it. Ones he had no idea Kun had taken, and...They were gorgeous. Pictures of him looking down at his bump with a soft smile on his lips. Pictures of him holding up baby clothes to compare them in the light. Pictures of all of their friends, of the night they got engaged, of everything they had done together leading up to their new arrival. 

"I love you so much." Kun sat down next to his fiancé, hand resting on top of Ten's. "And I know this has been hard on you, and that you just want it to be over because you're so tired all the time."

Ten snorted, wasn't that the truth? Pregnancy was hard. Really hard. But...he did kind of love it - having his little baby living inside of him. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't want him to make an appearance. And soon. 

"But this has been such an amazing journey for us I never want us to forget it. We went from casual dating to moving in together and getting engaged all because of this little baby. I know how scared you were to begin with, and you still are a little, even if you don't want to admit it." Kun smiled; he could read Ten like a book now. "But I'm so happy you decided to go through with this, because the way our son has brought us together is..."

"Baby..." Ten whispered as Kun began to tear up. He was going to set him off too. 

"I'm just so thankful I have you, and that in just a few months we're gonna have a new member of our family and- I just want you to know how much it means to me that we're doing this together. How much you mean to me."

"God, you're so-" Ten sniffled. For fucks sake. He was definitely not going to miss this whole emotional thing. "You're so annoying."

The two of them laughed, silent tears running down their cheeks. 

"But I love you too. You, and this little Chipmunk, are the best things that have ever happened to me. I never thought I'd want anything like this. The stupid suburban house and the baby and a purely monogamous relationship." Ten rolled his eyes a little. It was crazy the fact the two of them were here considering how they met. "We're gonna have to think of a fake getting together story to tell him when he's older, aren't we?"

"Oh god yeah." Kun scoffed. That was not a child friendly tale. "Less jaegerbomb's and fucking in club bathrooms, more… high tea and hand holding."

Ten sniggered. He wasn't even sure a three year old would believe that. 

"But I'm glad I have all of this - with you. I wouldn't trade in completely owning the dance floor and fucking strange men I've just met for anyone else."

"Strange?" Kun quirked an eyebrow. Ten thought _he _was the strange one? "Well, you know I'd never let anyone else have a piece of you, but you're still gonna be able to own the dance floor, baby. Think about how many babysitters we have."

"Oh my fucking god I cannot wait to get drunk." Ten groaned. This had been the worst Christmas ever. What was the point if he didn't wake up with a hangover every day for two weeks straight? Wasn't that what Christmas was all about? "Once I've popped this baby out and I've gotten my sexy body back I'm going to squeeze into the tightest little dress you've ever seen and you're taking me out dancing. We're gonna get absolutely mortal and the taxi driver is gonna threaten to kick us out because you won't be able to keep your hands out of my pants."

"Oh yeah?" Kun's hand ghosted over Ten's thigh, the younger smirking at the touch. He was going to get exactly what he wanted, wasn't he? "The house will be empty if Chipmunk is staying over at someone else's. I haven't had the chance to fuck you against the front door yet."

Ten giggled to himself. That was like their version of carrying someone over the threshold. Really marking the place as their own. Ten remembered when Kun used to do that back in his old apartment. How he'd make sure all his neighbours knew exactly who then belonged to, scream for more and door rattling in its frame echoing through the hallway. 

He shuffled a little on the sofa, t-shirt riding up his thigh. 

"You won't even be able to wait to get me upstairs."

Kun leaned in, nipping at Ten's bottom lip, worrying plump skin between his teeth. 

"Our neighbours are going to hate us, aren't they? Ruining the peace of suburbia when they hear your screaming through the letterbox."

"I think they already do." Ten quipped. He didn't need to be fucked against the door to be loud, and he knew fine well their bedroom backed onto their neighbours. They really should have gotten a detached house instead of a semi, but that was way out of their budget. They could barely afford this place. "I don't think there was any going back after that time you fucked me in the garden."

Kun chuckled to himself at the memory. They had barely even moved in, it was the beginning of November but it was still pretty nice (thank you, global warming) so they had decided to have a little barbecue. Just the two of them. Something different. 

But the night set in quick and by 16:30 it was pitch black. 

Neither of them had wanted to go back in yet, they were enjoying sipping on tonic water and chatting about anything and everything under the fairy lights Kun had strung all around their back garden at Ten's request. 

The temperature began to drop only a little but it made Ten curl into his brand new fiancé. Made him crave his warmth. 

And naturally one thing led to another. 

Ten was thankful that he had enlisted the help of Johnny and Xuxi one afternoon to help build their garden furniture, because no doubt if he had done it on his own the wooden sofa they had would have fallen apart under the weight of Ten bouncing on Kun's cock. 

And he couldn't hold himself back, of course he couldn't. He never could with Kun. 

So, he was pretty sure they hated them already. But Ten couldn't give a fuck. They were probably just jealous because there was no way their sex lives could be as good as his and Kun's was. 

"Do you think any of them saw?" Kun's eyes darkened, remembering how he had picked Ten up that night and pressed him against the wall. He always loved watching Ten ride him, but he could never control himself throughout the whole duration. He always had to take over and give his little slut exactly what he wanted. 

"Oh god yeah. I bet they couldn't look away." Ten lifted himself up, only to settle back down in Kun's lap. He liked the way things were progressing here, especially when he could feel Kun's hard on through the thin material of his boxers. Perfect. "I bet they were so jealous of you. Especially that guy that lives behind. Remember when he nearly crashed his bike into our wall cause he couldn't stop staring at my ass when I was unloading the groceries from the car?"

"I told you not to go outside in nothing but my hoodie and a pair of panties."

Ten shrugged. Like he ever listened. He loved that men couldn't take their eyes off of him. He loved teasing them and maybe even leading them on a little only to have Kun curl a possessive arm around his waist and shoot them a glare. He loved how much Kun wanted him. So much so that he wouldn't dream of letting anyone else have him. 

"At least now he knows who this pussy belongs to." Ten's voice lowered to a whisper, hips rocking against Kun's ever so slowly. God he was so turned on. The idea of someone watching them fuck set butterflies off in his stomach. He couldn't wait until summer. He was going to get Kun to fuck him in the garden on a daily basis. He'd have his figure back by then too and he'd really be able to show off. 

"And who does it belong to?"

"You, Daddy. Only you." Ten took Kun's left hand in his own, lifting it to his lips so he could press a kiss to his ring finger. "For the rest of our lives. You're still gonna have complete control of this ass when Chipmunk gets sick of us and sticks us in a home."

Kun laughed under his breath. Ten had this habit of saying really cute, romantic things that were dripping with sarcasm and humour. It was so very him. 

"As long as we're together I don't mind."

"Oh, he's gonna know Mama and Baba can't live without each other."

That was true. Kun already sort of felt like that and it hadn't even been a year. Never mind fifty-odd. 

"You really know how to get to me, don't you, Princess?"

Ten smirked. Because he did. 

He meant every word, though. Maybe he and Kun were soulmates or something stupid. 

"Is it working?"

"What do you think?" Kun rolled his hips up, making Ten moan lowly. He was so fucking hard. Ten needed that cock in him.

He needed it now. 

"What about your photo shoot?"

"I think I should help you out with this first." Kun grabbed a handful of Ten's bulge, the younger crying out in response. "The pictures aren't gonna have quite the same effect if you're sporting a semi."

Ten let out a whine. God he needed it so bad. Just as well he was good at getting what he wanted. 

"Daddy, please. Fuck me." Ten rocked his hips with a little more vigour this time. "Need your cock."

Kun smirked. How the fuck could he say no to that? 

"Well, I guess it _is _Christmas. You deserve to be spoilt."

༓࿇༓

"Merry Christmas, Bunny." Jungwoo shuffled a little closer to his husband to press a kiss to his lips. He loved waking up with the man of his dreams on his favourite holiday. 

"Merry Christmas to you too." Doyoung booped Jungwoo in the nose with his index finger, making the younger giggle. "I have well and truly spoilt you this year."

Doyoung had spent the night stacking up present after present under the tree for his husband. He felt like Jungwoo really deserved it this year. He deserved all of the attention to be on him as opposed to the baby. He deserved to be pampered and treated like he was the only person in the world. 

He still hadn't made his mind up and… Doyoung was struggling with the limbo phase, if he was being perfectly honest. But he was going to support his husband no matter what. Jungwoo was his everything, and he would never force him to do anything he wasn't ready for. He would never put anything before his mental health. 

"You shouldn't have."

"I couldn't help myself. You deserve it."

"I got you a little something special myself." Jungwoo pushed himself up with a groan. He had left most of Doyoung's gifts downstairs under the tree, but he had to open this one first. He had kept it in his bedside drawer especially, hoping to surprise his husband straight away. 

"Here."

Doyoung sat up as Jungwoo passed him the parcel, looking at his husband inquisitively. 

"What is it?"

"Open it and find out."

Jungwoo's heart was racing. He really hoped he was doing the right thing here. 

Doyoung ripped the paper apart carefully. He didn't know what was inside and didn't want to tear anything. But he didn't have to worry because what he found was some kind of fleecy blanket. It was a pale grey with little white bunnies on. It was cute, but… 

Why?

"There's more. Unwrap the blanket."

Doyoung turned the blanket over, unfolding it to-

"Oh my god." He breathed as he realised what was inside. 

A little grey babygro with 'I love my Daddy' stitched into it in white thread. 

Wait. 

Did this- He didn't want to get his hopes up, but did this…?

"I want this baby, Doyoung." Jungwoo beamed as he said those words aloud for the first time. To anyone other than his therapist, anyway. "I want _our _baby."

"Are you serious?" Doyoung could feel himself welling up. This was all he has fucking wanted. He had been just...waiting. Not wanting to pressure Jungwoo into anything, but- "are you sure?"

"I am." Jungwoo nodded, smile growing. "I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this, b-"

"Don't. Don't be sorry." Doyoung pushed the gifts to one side so he could cup Jungwoo's face in his hands. "Don't ever be sorry, okay? I love you so much and I am going to do everything I can to make this easier for you. I'll stay at home just like we discussed. You can go back to work and- Anything, Jungwoo. I would do anything for you."

"I know." Jungwoo bit down on his bottom lip, trying to keep his own tears from falling. He knew that. Doyoung has pretty much accepted the fact his baby was going to be aborted… all for Jungwoo. "You're the best. I'm so glad I married you."

Doyoung laughed softly as he thumbed away a stray tear from Jungwoo's cheek. He was so glad he had too. Jungwoo was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And now they were going to have this little baby to raise together. 

"In sickness and in health, right?" That didn't just include physical ailments. Doyoung would always be there for Jungwoo, no matter how bad his anxiety got or whether his depression decided to flare up again. He would always be there. 

Jungwoo smiled in response. How had he gotten so fucking lucky? 

"Til death do us part."

༓࿇༓

"That was kind of weird, right?"

"What was?"

Johnny and Jaehyun had just gotten in from spending Christmas with the Lee's. They took all of Marks presents over and watched him open them and Jaehyun had butterflies the entire time. By next year they'd have their own little baby to shower with gifts. And they may only be like four months old, but… It would still be nice. 

Only… Jaehyun felt like he could cut the tension in their home with a knife. Taeyong was still all smiley and acting like the perfect host as per usual, but… something was off. 

"Taeyong and Taeil barely spoke to one another. You didn't notice?"

Johnny hummed as he sipped at his water. He honestly hadn't. He'd been too engrossed in the food and how happy and giggly Mark seemed. 

That and this fucking pain just below his stomach that wouldn't go away. Felt like he was being kicked in the gut. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jaehyun put his plate down as Johnny winced, completely forgetting his earlier train of thought.

"I'm fine." Johnny threw Jaehyun a weak smile, not wanting to worry his boyfriend. "I probably just ate too much."

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. Johnny had been having stomach pains since they were at Taeyong's, and they looked like they really hurt. He couldn't let go of his side. 

But, Johnny had eaten enough for two. Anyone would think he was the pregnant one, not Jaehyun. Jaehyun had barely been able to touch his food when they sat down for dinner. But now he was absolutely starving. Just as well Taeyong dished up some turkey and veggies for him to take home. 

"Typical. Maybe you should take a senacot or something."

"Absolutely not. I haven't given you your last Christmas present yet." Johnny wiggled his eyebrows, striding across the kitchen so he could loop his arms around Jaehyun's waist and lean in close to his ear. "It's my ass."

Jaehyun snorted. Johnny was absolutely ridiculous. 

"Well, I do love that ass a lot." Jaehyun made grabby hands, urging Johnny to turn around so he could help himself to a handful. "But I'm tired now I've eaten. Ride me?"

Johnny whined. He _hated _riding. It made him feel...kind of embarrassed. Jaehyun watching him bounce up on down on his cock. It was just weird. 

"Do I have to?"

"Only if you want to make the father of your child happy on Christmas Day."

Johnny stuck his bottom lip out, hooking his finger in the collar of Jaehyun's t-shirt in an attempt to get his own way. 

"But imagine how much fun you'd have pressing me up against the wall. You love that, don't you, hyung?"

Jaehyun smiled slyly, because he did. But he wasn't about to let Johnny off so lightly. 

"You got me knocked up so you have to do what I say." He quipped back. Oh he was most definitely going to milk this whole pregnancy thing. Johnny was going to be sick of his life for the next nine or whatever months. Jaehyun probably would be too, to be fair. It was only right that Johnny suffered with him. 

Johnny sighed. Stupid pregnant Jaehyun. (He didn't mean that he loved his boyfriend and their little Jellybean more than anything.) 

"I'm getting knocked up next time so then I get to command you around."

"Who said there's going to be a next time? Maybe I only want one."

Johnny scoffed. Bullshit. 

"You think only children are weird."

"No, I think you're weird."

"Are you gonna fuck me or what?" Johnny was beginning to get impatient. He'd been thinking about this the whole time they were at the lees and he had been trying his hardest not to pop a boner, but… 

He just really needed Jaehyun. 

"Because if you don't want to then I'll just go grab that new dildo you bought me and get to work."

Jaehyun slapped Johnny's bicep. "That is for _me_ to use on you_._ You're not allowed to play with it yourself."

"Well, then," Johnny looped his arms around Jaehyun's waist, pulling his chest flush against Johnny's. "You better take me to bed before you leave me with no choice but to be naughty."

Jaehyun shook his head affectionately. Johnny sure was something else. 

"You sure you're okay?" He placed his hand on the elder's belly. He did feel kind of bloated… His stomach was rock hard.

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt anymore." Okay that was a lie, he still had a kind of dull ache, but it was nowhere near as bad as the shooting pains he'd had earlier. But he wasn't going to tell his worry-wart boyfriend that. Instead he pecked Jaehyun on the tip of the nose and smiled down at him. "I was just being a pig."

"If you're sure…"

"I am! I swear. Now, how about we practice putting a baby in me so Jellybean isn't a weird only child?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who would you like to spend Christmas with??? Taeyongs food sounds so good 🤤 but I think I'd have to go with kunten! Even if they'd just let me watch 🤲🏻
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
thank u for reading!


	13. happy new year!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR! god remember when 2020 just started and we all thought it was gonna be great? well now you can re-live that feeling bc there is gonna be no pandemic or lockdown in the ion square world i promise!  
hopefully if any good can come from the rest of real life 2020 it's that black people finally get the equality they deserve  
keep fighting for what is right and remember to look after yourselves too 💖 2020 has been a rly tough year for us all

Ten giggled to himself as he looked over his figure in the mirror. He actually looked kind of cute. 

He had absolutely been dreading finding a glamorous dress for the new year party he and Kun were hosting, considering he was a giant pregnant monster and all, but he managed it. And he actually looked good. 

The dress was floor-length, black with an iridescent thread stitched through the material which shone teal in a certain light. It was cinched at the waist with a bandeau of crystals to show that despite everything he did still have a figure and it was low cut. Oh it was very low cut. He had to show off his new best assets, after all, right? 

Had Ten have known he'd end up with such a great pair of tits because of his pregnancy he would have done it a hell of a lot sooner. He couldn't remember Taeyong's looking this good when he was pregnant, but then again Taeyong was just a generally flat human being. No ass, no tits. Poor guy. Poor Taeil.

But Ten had struck lucky, and with the right push up bra they looked out of this world. 

"Fuck me."

Ten turned with a giggle as he heard a voice behind him, finding Kun leaning up against the door, mouth agape. 

"Happy birthday eve!" Ten smirked at his fiancé. That was the main reason they were having a New Year's party at their place, once the clock struck midnight it would be Kun's birthday, and Ten had a very special surprise for him. "You weren't meant to see me until I was fully ready, though. I still have my boring boy hair."

"I don't care, you look stunning." Kun had his arms around tens waist in a few long strides, looking him up and down before settling on his chest. "Good enough to eat."

Ten scoffed. He was supposed to be the ravenously horny one, but Kun literally could not keep his hands, or mouth, off of his chest at the moment. Not that Ten was really complaining, he'd always had sensitive nipples. But now, with the pregnancy hormones and the growth, the stimulation was out of this world. He felt his cock twitch just thinking about it. 

"I don't know what you're going to do when Chipmunk comes along, you realise these are for him, right?"

"Well," Kun ran his index finger over the curve of ten's breast, making him whimper at the barely there contact, "I've heard they get really sore, and I am more than happy to help you out with a massage."

"But for now..." He continued, before squeezing lightly. "They're all mine."

Ten giggled. "You're gonna get me all wet, stop it! These panties cannot hold down a boner."

"I'm surprised you're wearing any."

"I am." Ten leaned in, voice breathy as his lips brushed up against his fiancés. "But they're tiny."

"Can we please cancel? Please?"

"You're so cute when you're horny."

"It's my birthday; I want you all to myself. No one else should be allowed to see how good you look in this dress."

"It's your birthday eve, actually." Ten reminded him, biting down on his red painted lip as Kun grabbed a handful of his ass. "But...maybe I could give you a little early present. Unzip me."

Kun's lips quirked up, fingers fiddling with the zip on the back of Ten's dress, desperate to get it off. He took a step back once it was loose, allowing Ten to slide the capped sleeves off of his shoulders and letting the material drop to the floor. 

Fucking hell. 

So Ten looked amazing in that dress, of course he did. But like this? He was something else. And no one got to see it but Kun. He loved that. 

"You're so fucking perfect." Kun closed back in after he had drank in the view, causing Ten to back up against his vanity table, leaving the dress in a pile on the floor. "How did I get so lucky?"

Ten chuckled lowly. "Just don't mess up my lipstick, okay?"

Kun pouted a little, he loved kissing Ten, but...there were plenty of other things he could do with his mouth 

"Kunnie-" Ten gasped as Kun latched onto his neck as he fiddled with the claps of Ten's bra. He better not leave any marks. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Depends how long we've got." Kun smirked as he unclipped Ten's bra causing the younger to squeak. 

Ten craned his neck as Kun scattered kisses down it, trying to see the time on the clock on their bedside table. It was half six. "I dunno, like fifteen minutes? You know Taeyong and Taeil will be early."

"Then they'll just have to wait outside."

Ten moaned his fiancés name as Kun kissed his way lower, finally sucking a nipple into his mouth. Jesus Christ that felt so fucking good.

"Daddy-" Ten whined out as Kun squeezed at his other breast, rolling the hardened nub between his fingers. He was in heaven right now. Literally every time Kun touched him, whether it was intentional or not, it was like his skin burned. He was just so fucking turned on all of the time and he couldn't stop thinking about it. He'd pounce on Kun the moment he got home. Set their alarms extra early so he could get it in the morning. It was driving him crazy how badly he ached for his fiancé all the fucking time and he-

This felt good. It felt really fucking good, Kun sucking on his tits, hoisting him up into the vanity to give himself better access. But he needed more. They didn't have long and he needed more. Quickly. 

"Please- touch me."

"So needy. Is Daddy sucking on your tits not enough?"

Ten shook his head, it wasn't. He needed more. 

"Fuck me."

"Already?" Kun quirked an eyebrow. He was the one that instigated this and now Ten was desperate to kick things up a notch.

"We don't have a lot of time." Ten knew foreplay with Kun could last for fucking hours. And he loved that, he really did. He loved the way his Daddy paid attention to every inch of his body, the way he worshiped him, the way he brought Ten to the brink a handful of times before finally sticking it in him, the repetitive edging resulting in a mind numbing orgasm. But they didn't have time for that right now. He just needed a quick fuck to get it out of his system, because he was not going to be riled up and left hard all night. "Please." Ten reached down to fumble with Kun's fly. "Need your cock."

"You're so cute when you get all desperate like this princess, but I want to treat you." Kun pulled Ten closer by the hips, stomach pushed against his fiancés bump. "Why don't we call everyone and say the party's off? And I'll play with your cock and your pretty little pussy all night?"

Ten hissed out a fuck under his breath. That did sound good. Fuck it sounded perfect. Kun eating him out, one hand fisting his cock, the other spreading him wide open so his tongue could fuck into his tight hole. Sucking Daddy's cock like the good little girl he was, spurts of come all over his face and tits by the time Kun was done with him. Him on all fours as Kun pounded into him over and over. It sounded like the perfect way to ring in the New Year, and it would be a very fitting birthday present for his boyfriend. 

But... he couldn't, unfortunately. He had other plans. 

"But I have a surprise for you."

Kun's eyebrows furrowed slightly. A surprise? 

"I thought I told you not to get me anything."

"I know, but...it's the first time I've celebrated your birthday and I couldn't resist. And I want everyone to be here to see it."

Kun was a little taken aback, but...that was so cute. Ten wasn't exactly the most romantic person, but the fact he had organised this whole party for him...and he had something special planned. It meant a lot. 

"So, you want me to fuck you hard and fast so you can play hostess to our friends for my birthday?"

Ten nodded, giggling softly. That was exactly what he wanted. 

"And then tomorrow, on your actual birthday, we have all day for you to do whatever you want to me."

Kun liked the sound of that. He liked it a lot. 

So he hoisted his needy little fiancé off of the vanity, popping him down in the ground and turned him around so he was staring back at himself in the mirror, Kun smirking over his shoulder. 

"I just want you to see how gorgeous you are." He pressed a kiss to Ten's skin, the younger shuddering as fingers ghosted over his bump, making their way north to ghost over an erect nipple. Kun was literally obsessed. "Lube?"

"I think there's some in here." Ten pulled one of his drawers out, fishing around in all of the foundation and primer bottles he kept in there. He should really tidy this shit out. Ah! There it was! He always kept a bottle in his vanity, just in case. He had them hidden all over the house, in fact. For emergencies. "Here."

Ten moaned to himself as Kun slicked up his fingers, sliding his g-string to the side and pressing one inside of him. Thank fuck things were finally beginning to heat up. He needed it so bad. 

"Hn- Daddy-" Ten groaned as Kun wasted no time in adding another, spreading his legs and pushing his ass back to give him a little more room to move, ignoring the way his bump rested on his vanity top. "More."

"Patience, baby, I don't want to hurt you. I'll be as quick as I can, okay?" Ten nodded, ignoring the way his cock ached. He just wanted to come. He wanted Kun inside of him. "Just concentrate on how pretty you look when I'm fingering you."

Ten couldn't help but snort. He looked a mess, he had been all done up earlier and Kun had ruined it. Sweet talking him out of his clothes, getting him all hot and sweaty so now his eyeliner was smudging cause he didn't have time to set it properly, and he hadn't even done his hair; extensions strewn across the bed, waiting to be curled. 

"I look like shit. And fat."

"You look perfect." Kun crooked his fingers, causing Ten to throw his head back. "See. Gorgeous."

Ten looked down his nose at himself, keeping his head lulled back as his fiancé worked into him. He did look...kind of good, he guessed. His bump may be bigger than anyone else who was twenty-five weeks gone, but his stomach was taught and he hadn't gained that much extra weight. And his tits did look incredible. They were just a decent handful, and super perky. He loved dressing up in lace and satin, but they looked good like this too. Especially in Kun's hands. 

"I guess...I do look pretty fuckable."

"You bet you do." Kun added a third finger, stretching Ten out as thoroughly but as quickly as he could, he kind of wanted to get the show on the road himself. He pulled his cock out with his other hand, lubing it up in preparation and smacking it against Ten's ass, just cause he could. 

"If you don't put that in me in the next three seconds."

"You sure you're ready?"

"God yes!" He was more than ready. He could take it, he knew he could. He wanted it so bad. He wanted to be filled up and fucked with his face pressed up against the mirror. He wanted Kun to play with him, to run his hands all over his body as he stretched him open until he came all over his vanity. Thank god he'd cleared most of his makeup away before Kun came and distracted him. 

He needed his fiancé and he needed him now. 

"Just fuck me already."

༓࿇༓

"What's taking so long? I'm cold."

"I did tell you to wear a jacket."

Johnny rolled his eyes at Jaehyun. He didn't need a jacket because he wasn't going to be spending any time outside. Or, at least he wasn't meant to be. He should be inside. In the warmth. If Ten would answer his fucking door. 

He pressed he bell a few more times before banging on the glass just in case for some reason it wasn't working. If they had forgotten they were throwing a party and went out he was going to hit the roof. 

That's when it finally opened. 

"Oh, hey guys, sorry we were- Just...sorting something out." A very flustered Kun stepped to the side to let them in, cheeks tinted with pink, lips a little redder than usual. "Ten's just finishing off getting ready, you know what he's like."

"Hi!" Turned out Ten was ready after all, as he bounded down the stairs with a lot less care than you would expect from someone who was twenty-five weeks pregnant. "Thank you for coming!" He reached up on his toes to press a kiss to Jaehyun's cheek. Fuck. He was exhausted. 

"You look amazing, Tennie! You really suit blonde."

"Oh, thanks." Ten smiled as Jaehyun's fingers carded through his hair. He hadn't had time to curl his extensions so he had to throw on a wig last minute. "Kun, you wanna go get some drinks ready?"

Kun nodded, Jaehyun following him because he could smell food and he was fucking starving. He wanted to hit the buffet before anyone else got here. 

"Happy new year, Johnny!" Ten let Johnny bend down to press a kiss to each cheek. He wasn't sure he could reach that far in his current state. "Have you got it?"

"Of course!" Johnny produced a little silk pouch from his pocket, handing it to his best friend. Ten took it and slipped it into his bra - his new favourite pocket. "You nervous?"

"Not really." Ten shrugged. He was more excited. "I'm pretty sure he's gonna love it."

"I'm sure he will." Johnny placed a hand on the small of tens back, guiding him further into the house so he could get a drink too. "By the way, you might want to go put some perfume on. You stink of sex."

Ten scoffed as Johnny wandered off into the kitchen, a smug smirk on his lips. Asshole. 

The night was actually going really well, to Ten's surprise. He wasn't used to throwing parties like this - where everyone wasn't off their face and his floor was covered in spilled shots. But it was nice, actually. Nice and mature. 

And so many people he hadn't expected to see had shown up. He couldn't wipe the smile off of his face when he opened the door to Jungwoo and Doyoung. He looked to so happy now. So much better than he had when he broke down in Ten's arms just a month ago. He was really glad that his therapy was going well, and that he was getting help with his issues, because Ten knew what it was like to feel completely alone when mental health was involved. 

And even Xuxi had turned up. He was twenty-two and instead of going out and getting pissed at some student house party he came here. Granted, he was actually going to a different party later on, but it was nice that he swung by first. He'd even brought a couple of friends along, and the fact one of them whispered_ 'That's your boss? Mate, she's so hot.'_ to him after Ten had invited them in really put a spring in his step. 

Yeah, tonight was going great. Taeyong had even complimented him on his homemade salsa and he honestly nearly cried because he wasn't sure Taeyong had ever said anything that nice to him. 

He should really throw more parties. 

"Jae! There's someone I need to introduce you to, come here." Everyone had been mingling, even with some of their old university friends that had shown up, and a couple of Kun's work colleagues too. But now Jaehyun had a baby on the way, he had to join their little group. "This is Jungwoo; I met him at my antenatal class."

"Oh, hi! I'm Jaehyun, nice to meet you."

"Jaehyun's pregnant too!" Ten bounced on the spot. He was so excited. He had been dying for one of his close friends to get pregnant with him. "We went to university together. He's gonna be the godfather of my baby."

"Am I?"

"Of course you are! You and Johnny and Taeyong and Taeil. Who else would we choose?"

"Oh my god that's so sweet." Jaehyun held his hand to his chest. He never expected that. "I didn't think you'd get him Christened."

"Oh we're not, fuck that."

Jaehyun and Jungwoo shared a look. 

"You do realise what godparents are, right?"

Ten shrugged. "Thought it was just like...better than being an uncle."

Johnny had always described Ten as deceptively smart. He graduated high school a year early, and everyone had expected him to go study medicine or pharmacy because of how good he was at maths and science. But he was a creative; he loved art and drawing which is why he ended up studying graphic design alongside Johnny, and why he dealt with all of the finances when he came to their business. He was intelligent. Really intelligent. 

But you would probably never guess that from having a conversation with him. He just didn't have a whole lot of common sense. 

"Whatever, I'm still gonna call you his godparents. And if me and Kun die in a freak accident then you get to look after him!"

Jaehyun's eyes widened slightly. Jesus. Talk about morbid. 

"Well...hopefully it won't come to that." Jaehyun laughed softly under his breath. This was the first time he had met this Jungwoo and Ten was talking about corking it. Wonderful. "Anyway, how far along are you?"

"Twenty-five weeks! Me and Ten actually have the same due date." 

Ten nodded proudly. Imagine if they were actually born on the same day? That would be amazing. 

"Do you know what you're having?"

"Oh, no! Me and my husband wanna keep it as a surprise." Jungwoo smiled, hand resting on his bump. He felt like that would be easier on him. Less pressure. 

"I think that's what me and Johnny want too. I mean, I'm only ten weeks gone but...I feel like wanting to know whether it's a boy or a girl will help me push it out quicker."

Jungwoo laughed out loud, which made Ten smile. They were going to get on great. He just knew it. He finally had the little group of pregnant people to hang out with he so desperately wanted.

In fact, everyone seemed to be getting on great. He had found Xuxi literally laughing his ass off at something Taeil said, which Ten found incredibly weird because he wasn't sure he had ever found anything that had come out of Taeil's mouth even remotely funny. And Taeyong and Doyoung seemed to be getting on great too.

This was perfect. All their friends here on what he deemed to be an important night.

But...he was freaking out. Just a little but.

"You're freaking out, aren't you?"

Ten rolled his eyes as Johnny slid up next to him. He hated that Johnny could read him like a book sometimes.

"Just a little."

"It'll be fine; you literally have nothing to worry about."

"I know it's just...weird. I don't like being the centre of attention."

Johnny scoffed, almost choking on his rum and coke. That was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"Since when?"

"Since forever! I'm a very...private person."

"You talk some absolute shit sometimes." Johnny shook his head softly. "But you're gonna be fine, trust me. I can see how much he loves you."

Ten smiled, hoping his foundation would hide the slight blush on his cheeks. Kun really did love him, that much was true.

"I can't believe this is my life now." Ten placed his hand on his bump. He had a baby on the way and was engaged to be married. This time last year he was probably unconscious, actually. Last new year he had gotten so drunk he hadn't even made it to midnight, he'd spent half of the night crying in the bathroom and drinking and/or taking whatever he could to try and forget about his ex, who only a few days earlier had given him the most amazing Christmas present: the knowledge he had been sleeping with someone else behind Ten's back. Wonderful.

But it was amazing how quickly things could change. Ten wouldn't consider himself one that fell for people fast, he wouldn't really even consider himself a relationship kind of guy. Keeping it casual was much easier - you couldn't get your heart broken that way.

But there was just something about Kun. He was perfect, in Ten's eyes. He was caring and loving and he seemed to worship the ground Ten walked on. He was gorgeous and an absolute firecracker in bed - and Ten had a lot to compare Kun's skills to. But sex with Kun was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. Maybe it was because he'd never really been in love before. He'd never felt so strongly about someone.

And it was just as well, really, considering he found himself knocked up within months of meeting the guy.

If it had been anyone else Ten would have run for the hills. He would have booked an appointment the day after finding out and he would have just forgotten about the whole saga. He had no interest in being a parent.

Until Kun was the one that put a baby in him, that was. It just felt right. Kun made him believe that they could do this and they could be happy and they could be an actual family. The two of them and their little baby.

And Ten wanted to make sure that was exactly what was going to happen.

They really were going to be a family.

"Come on!" Jaehyun scurried into the kitchen where Johnny and Ten were stood chatting, fingers looping around his boyfriend's wrist to drag him back into the living room where everyone else was. "It's nearly midnight!"

Johnny mouthed Ten a 'good luck' as Jaehyun dragged him off, the younger following closely behind to find his own boyfriend. Well, fiancé.

And it wasn't long until he managed to find Kun among the little group of people gathered in their living room, a wide smile on his face as he held his hand out for Ten to take.

"We're about to start our very first year together." Kun mused, arms snaking around Ten's waist to bring him in as close as he possibly could, despite the bump getting in between them.

Ten nuzzled his nose up against his fiancés, arms slung over Kun's shoulders. That was a little crazy, actually. They hadn't even spent New Year together but they had a brand new house, were engaged and had a baby on the way. In just four short months everything was going to change massively.

10...9...8

He bit down on his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling too widely as everyone began to count down from ten around them. 2020 was approaching, and it was approaching fast.

7...6...5

This was going to be a huge year for them.

4...3...2

And Ten honestly couldn't wait.

"There's no one else I'd rather go into this year with."

1! 

Happy New Year!

Ten leaned in, pressing a kiss to Kun's lips. He knew that was just the done thing at New Years, you kissed your loved ones, welcomed the next twelve months in, but for Ten that kiss meant a lot, and he had no intention of kissing anyone else tonight like he usually would.

Tonight was for him and Kun.

"Happy birthday, baby."

Kun barely had time to let his eyes flutter open and Ten was on the floor. What the- Oh god he hadn't fell had he- The baby-

"Kun-"

Kun was crouched over, halfway into leaping into action to pull his boyfriend off the ground when Ten spoke up.

"I know...we've already agreed to this and everything, but I wanted to make it official."

Kun gaped as he realised Ten was on one knee. Wait.

"Oh my god." Kun laughed under his breath as Ten dipped into his bra - he wasn't going to whip a tit out, was he -only to pull out a little velvet box.

"I'm hoping that the answer is still yes, but..." Ten opened the box, revealing a silver ring. It had no airs and graces about it, just a simple silver band. He knew Kun wasn't into flashy jewellery, but Ten wanted to give him something as a token of their engagement. "Will you marry me?"

"Baby...I thought we weren't doing rings."

Ten shrugged. "I changed my mind. Wanted everyone to know you were taken. That's if...you still are?"

"Of course I am! Yes I'll fucking marry you!"

Kun got down on the floor himself, knowing that would be easier than Ten trying to get up. It was a miracle he had made it down there in the first place. He threw his arms around his beaming fiancé, pressing a big, wet kiss to tens lips.

He heard the cheers and the claps around them from all of their friends. Their first engagement had been so spontaneous and private it was actually really nice that Ten had made an effort to plan all of this. He had wondered why the younger had wanted to throw a party in the first place.

Kun gave Ten his left hand, allowing him to slip the ring on. It was a little snug, but they could always get it resized. Now everyone knew he belonged to Ten, and even though at first they said they weren't going to do rings to save on money for the baby, he actually really liked that.

"Looks like you're stuck with me forever." Ten giggled, pressing a kiss to the ring on his fiancés finger. "You're not escaping now."

"As if I'd ever let anyone else have you." Kun smirked back. Ten was his everything. Him and that little baby that was baking away inside of him. He placed his hand over Ten's bump, heart fluttering as their little boy kicked back. "Mama and Baba are gonna get married, Chipmunk, how exciting is that?"

"Oh my god! Imagine how cute he's gonna look in a little suit!" Ten didn't even know what their baby looked like yet, but he knew he was going to be adorable. A baby that was half him and half Kun? He had to be. "I can't wait to be all yours."

"You already are mine." Kun stood, helping Ten to his feet, knowing he struggled getting up with the size of his bump. "But one day you're going to be Mrs Qian, and it know we might not be able to afford it anytime soon, but...I can't wait."

"Ten Qian." Ten mumbled under his breath. That had a pretty nice ring to it. He was really getting married, wasn't he? Jesus Christ. What a perfect way to start the year.

"You guys! Come here!"

Ten was just about to kiss his future husband again when they were ever so rudely interrupted by a pair of long arms attached to a very excited Johnny wrapped around them.

"You're so cute I love you both so much!"

Ten laughed as Johnny pulled the two of them in close, he wasn't used to drunk Johnny when he was sober, usually because he would be even more drunk than his best friend in situations like this. But it was cute how enthusiastic he was.

It wasn't long before all of their friends were congratulating them, even though they knew already knew they were engaged. It was nice to see the whole traditional down on one knee engagement thing that they had all missed out on at Halloween. 

And Ten couldn't be happier. This was exactly what he wanted. He wanted tonight to be all about Kun, about their love for one another. He wanted to give his fiancé the best birthday present imaginable; himself.

Because he really did love him, more than he had ever loved anyone.

And he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with him.

༓࿇༓

Taeyong had honestly been dreading 2020 hitting. That was the deadline he and Taeil had given themselves.

If he wasn't pregnant by the end of 2019 they were going to stop trying - because they were worried it was going to end up tearing them apart.

But now that it was here...Taeyong felt heart broken.

It wasn't the end, he knew that. This year they were going to look into other options. They were considering surrogacy first of all, that way the baby would still be theirs biologically, but the fact Taeyong couldn't even carry his own baby made him feel...somewhat inferior.

What kind of parent was he if he couldn't even give birth?

He knew that this was a problem that a lot of people faced, and that of course actually carrying the child had no bearing on how good you were as a parent. He knew that. It just...he wanted a baby so bad. He wanted to get pregnant again so bad, and using any other method just didn't seem right.

It wasn't what he wanted.

He was meant to be the one carrying his own child, and he absolutely hated the fact he couldn't. 

It was so annoying. Of course he was happy for his friends, but...Ten and Jaehyun hadn't even wanted kids, at least not yet, and now they were both pregnant. Accidentally. He and Taeil had been trying and trying for the past year and...nothing. No new baby on the horizon.

It was frustrating, and he hated that he was even having thoughts like this, but it just seemed so unfair. 

Taeil had been trying his hardest to make Taeyong feel better about this situation, assuring him that they would have another baby, no matter what it took. And Taeyong didn't doubt that. If they needed to go down the surrogacy route, then so be it. If they needed to adopt then he was more than happy to give a less fortunate child a home - they had planned on adopting one day anyway. 

He just wished that he was going to have at least one more pregnancy before that happened. 

He wished he had appreciated carrying Mark more, instead of wishing it would be over so he could get back to doing his job properly. Because it was looking like he'd never have that again. 

"Daddy." 

Taeyong smiled to himself as Mark tried to pull himself up into the sofa next to his father. He was almost eighteen months old and Taeyong really wished he'd stop growing. He leaned down to pick the toddler up, cuddling him close to his chest. He wouldn't change Mark for the world, but he really wished he could give him a little brother or sister without having to jump through a load of extra hoops. 

It could be worse, he guessed. He could have no kids at all. If he and Taeil had waited a while after they got married to start trying like they had wanted to they might never have had Mark. It might never have happened for them at all. At least he had his precious baby boy. 

"Yonggie?" Taeyong heard his name be called from the doorway. "You in?"

"Yeah. What's up?" Taeyong stood, Mark in his arms as he wandered out of the living room to see what his husband was up to. Why was he shouting through the house? 

"I have a surprise for you. Wait!" Taeyong froze in the doorway. "Close your eyes."

Taeyong sighed, doing as he was told, mumbling to Mark about how silly his Appa could be sometimes. 

He kept them closed as he heard a slight rustling, followed by what sounded like metal hinges squeaking. Weird. 

"Okay. Open up."

Taeyong cracked an eye open, having no idea why Taeil would get in a surprise in the middle of January. 

Wait...

"What's that?" Taeyong gaped at the ball of fluff in his husband's hands. 

"A puppy! I know you've always wanted one and- Well-"

"Puppy!" Mark clapped his little hands together, leaning forwards to try to get to the tiny white dog his Appa was holding. 

"I know things haven't been going according to plan and...I know it's gonna take a while until we sort everything out and can start other processes to, you know, have a baby, and... I thought for now- We could raise a puppy."

Taeyong wasn't sure how to respond. 

A puppy?

Taeil thought this was going to make up for the fact he couldn't have any more kids? 

"Puppy!" Mark whined again, desperate to stroke the little dog. 

Taeil popped the puppy on the floor, before taking his son from a bewildered Taeyong's arms. 

"Be gentle with her."

Taeil sat down on the ground, Mark in his lap as he guided the one-year-olds hand to pet the puppy softly, making Mark giggle with glee. He loved puppies. 

"I think he likes her." Taeil beamed up at his husband, not quite able to read Taeyong's expression. Was he mad? Upset? Excited? Taeil honestly had no idea. "You okay, baby?"

Taeyong wasn't sure whether he was or not. He absolutely loved dogs, had grown up with them his whole life, so of course he wanted one, but...he wanted a baby more. He wanted a baby so bad. 

But Taeil was right. It was going to take some time before that could happen. 

"What's her name?" 

"I was going to let you decide."

Taeyong sat down next to his husband and son, smiling as the little puppy trotted over to him. She was so fluffy, and had the biggest ears Taeyong had ever seen on a dog. She was a Papillion, he was pretty sure. And she was adorable. 

"Ruby. I want to call her Ruby."

"Ruby..." Taeil mused. That was cute. "This isn't the end, you know? We will have another baby. However we can, okay?"

Taeil didn't want Taeyong to think this was a sign that they were going to stop trying completely. That the dog was a replacement for any other kids. Their family was going to grow. It might just take a little longer than they first intended. 

Taeyong smiled a sad little smile. The whole baby thing was taking a toll on him, but hopefully, this puppy would act as a bit of a distraction. He had someone else to look after, and maybe that's exactly what he needed. 

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his husband's lips. This was sweet. Really sweet. And they just had to keep trying. It wasn't going to be easy but at least he had Taeil by his side throughout the process - no matter which road they ended up going down. 

"I love you so much."

"Love you too, baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
thank u for reading!


	14. appointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back! god it's been forever since i updated but everyone's here and we get a lil more xuxi! exciting!
> 
> pls enjoy 💖

"I can't believe you have a puppy." Jaehyun giggled, sprawled out on the floor as the tiny bundle of fluff jumped all over him.

"Yeah, me either." Taeyong sighed. It wasn't quite the new addition he had been hoping for, but Ruby was turning out to be a blessing in disguise. She kept him occupied, and while she may be covered in fur and had this habit of eating her own poop, she wasn't too indifferent to a baby. 

"What brought that on?"

"Taeil thought it would be nice for us to have someone else to look after since…" Taeyong chewed on the inside of his lip. It was already a week into the new year. A week past the deadline they had given themselves. 

Should he tell Jaehyun? If he couldn't talk to his best friend about this, then who could he? 

"Since we decided to stop trying."

"You what?" Jaehyun sat up, trying to keep the puppy still in his lap. "You- I didn't know you were."

"We haven't really told anyone." Taeyong shook his head softly. He never wanted people to know they were trying because then it seemed like more pressure. And the idea of failing, well… that wasn't something Taeyong took well to. "We wanted it to just happen, but we figured if it hadn't by the end of last year, then-" he shrugged. "We'd just give up."

"Oh my god." Jaehyun whispered. He had no idea. "H-How long did you try?"

"Just about all of last year." Taeyong scoffed. He had always wanted kids who were close together in age, hoping he'd fall pregnant again before Mark even turned one. But it didn't happen. And then it kept not happening. 

"Well, that isn't too long, really. You could always keep-"

"Nah. We agreed to stop at the end of the year. I think… I think I was stressing him out." Taeyong looked down at his wedding ring with a sad smile. He knew he had been a nightmare, rigorously checking his calendar and making sure they packed as much sex as possible into his fertility window. It stopped being fun a long time ago. It was about getting pregnant and nothing else. 

Taeil was an angel for even putting up with him. 

"We're going to look into seeing a fertility doctor and stuff, but…"

"So it's not over yet! Maybe you just need a little extra help. Some- uh- hormones or something." Jaehyun honestly knew nothing about fertility treatment, or if extra hormones were even a route you could go down, but he just wanted to make Taeyong feel a little better. "It's not the end of the world."

Taeyong nodded. He knew that. One way or another they would have another baby. It just wouldn't be in the way he wanted. 

"I have no problem with doing that, or even adopting. I know I do want to adopt, I just- I thought I'd have another one naturally first. It was so easy with Mark and then- Now I just…"

"Hey." Jaehyun popped the puppy down in the floor and crawled a little closer to his best friend. He wasn't used to seeing Taeyong so upset. He never really got upset. "It'll be fine. There's nothing wrong with getting help."

"I know, I just feel… Kind of useless. Like I can't even do what's supposed to be the most natural thing in the world and-" Taeyong sniffled, eyes wandering over to where Mark was scribbling on a stack of paper a few feet away, not a care in the world. "Well, it's _me. _You know I hate asking for help."

Jaehyun hummed, that was something Taeyong had always struggled with. He liked being independent and able to do everything off his own back. That's just who he was. 

"I wish you had have at least told me. I wouldn't have rubbed my pregnancy in your face so much."

"Don't be stupid! I'm _so _happy for you. And Ten. It's not your fault we're having problems. I mean, Mark came out of nowhere for us. I know the same happened for you and I would be the worst friend ever if I wouldn't support you through it. Plus, I can't wait to meet my little nephew or niece."

Jaehyun smiled as he rubbed his stomach instinctively. He just wished Taeyong would be more open with him, that he would speak up when he was struggling. He always kept everything bottled up and Jaehyun was sure that couldn't be good when trying to make a baby. 

"Anyway, it could be worse. At least I have my lion cub." Mark giggled as Taeyong held his arms out, pushing himself up to waddle across to his father for a hug. "And he's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Taeyong scooped Mark up in his arms, nuzzling his nose against his sons. He knew he should consider himself lucky, really. Some people out there couldn't even have one baby. At least he had his Markie. 

"And Daddy loves you so, so much."

"Love Dada!" Mark replied, his little fingers making grabby motions for Taeyong's face so he could cover it in wet little butterfly kisses, just like his parents would do to him before he went to sleep. 

Jaehyun watched the two of them. Taeyong absolutely adored Mark; he had since the moment he was born. But he knew he wanted a bigger family too, at least three kids, and it must be hell for him not being able to conceive as easily as the first time. 

"I think you should still keep trying, but like… Not so hard. Still visit a doctor and look at other avenues because it might take some of the pressure off. You'll have that to fall back on if it doesn't happen naturally."

"Maybe…" Taeyong mused. Part of him just wanted to jump straight into IVF or whatever and get it over with. He wanted things to get back to normal between him and Taeil because he felt like he had been using his husband as nothing more than a baby making machine lately. He just wanted them to be happy again. "I think I just need to chill out about the whole thing. We'll have another baby one way or another, right? There are plenty of kids out there who need homes."

Maybe they could adopt their next child. It had been something they were planning on a good few years into the future once they had gotten any pregnancies out of the way, but… Maybe now was the right time. 

"But until then I think I'm gonna have my hands full with yours and Ten's, because we're gonna babysit all the time, aren't we pumpkin?" Taeyong couldn't wait for the new babies to arrive, for mark to have someone to play with and look up to him. Jaehyun was still a while off, but in just a few months Ten would be giving birth and Taeyong couldn't believe how excited he was. "I can't wait to meet them both."

"Yeah…" Jaehyun giggled, hand back on his stomach. It was surreal that he and Ten were having kids at all; never mind so close to one another. "Me either."

༓࿇༓

Kun hummed to himself as he poured a coffee. He was hoping to get out of tonight's prenatal class and stay at home cuddled up with his fiancé, but Ten insisted he go, terrified they would miss out on something. 

Ten was sick, nothing serious thankfully, Kun was pretty sure he had just overindulged over the holiday season and his body was reprimanding him for it. He probably should have been a little harder on him, reminded him to eat plenty of veggies and force him to have the daily smoothie Kun insisted on making him because it was the only way he could get any fruit into Ten's system, but he couldn't say no when Ten turned on the puppy dog eyes and asked if they could open another box of chocolates. He hoped he would learn to be sterner when the baby came along. 

"Oh, hey. You on your own tonight?"

Kun turned as he heard a familiar voice, smiling at Doyoung as the elder poured himself a glass of water. 

"Yeah, Ten's not feeling too good. Too much chocolate I reckon."

Doyoung scoffed. "Woo was the same the other day, but cheese is his vice. He cried because I wouldn't let him have 'the good stuff'," Doyoung equipped his words with a set of air quotes, "but he still managed to get through a whole wedge of Edam. He ate it like watermelon."

Kun laughed as Doyoung shuddered. He had seen some sights that would no doubt haunt him the rest of his life from Ten, too. He couldn't exactly be mad over it, though. He was giving him a little baby, after all. 

"Hey Jungwoo. How you feeling?" Kun took a seat next to the couple now they had poured all of the drinks they needed. 

"Pretty good. Gassy."

"TMI, babe."

Jungwoo scoffed. "He gets it. He has to sleep next to a pregnant person too." Kun laughed into his cup. Jungwoo wasn't wrong, there. "Where is Ten, anyway?"

"He's not feeling too good. Ate too much shit over Christmas."

"That's a shame." Jungwoo pouted. He loved seeing Ten at these little meetings. He was the only other pregnant person he knew - that he was friends with, and the next meeting wasn't going to be for a while. "Maybe I should text him and see if he wants to do something when he's feeling better. It's nice being around someone else who has trouble finding pants that fit."

"Oh he would love that. He's sick of spending time with Jaehyun because he's still so tiny."

"Ugh, to be ten weeks pregnant again." Jungwoo groaned, a hand on his bump. It was sticking out of the bottom of his shirt a little. "I was barely even showing until I was about three months gone, was I Doie?"

"Nah, he was tiny. And then all of a sudden-" Doyoung puffed his cheeks out, hands mimicking the way Jungwoo's stomach seemed to grow out of nowhere. 

"He's saying I got really fat overnight."

"Not _fat."_

"Ten has always been kind of big, everyone is sure we're having twins but we've seen the scans and _thank god _we aren't. I don't know what we would do with two."

"Jesus, imagine having twins." Doyoung shuddered again. Kun wondered if he was cold or if he always had such extreme physical reactions to his own thoughts. 

"I would _love _twins!" Kun smiled as Jungwoo's eyes sparkled. It was nice to see him all excited. He knew how hard the last couple of months had been for him. He knew he was on the verge of having an abortion and putting his mental health first. But Kun was happy that he seeked help, that he had been working through his issues and came out the other side with a big grin on his face and a baby still in his belly, because he seemed so genuinely happy to be pregnant. "Next time, we're having twins, okay?"

"I'm not sure that's something you can plan for…"

Doyoung's eyebrows furrowed a little as he realised what Jungwoo had just said. "Hey! I thought I was carrying next time?"

"You are! That's why I suggested it. You can't expect me to work while pregnant with twins, can you?"

"I guess not." Doyoung mumbled under his breath. Jungwoo was taking his breadwinner roll very seriously. Doyoung wondered just how long he would have to play housewife. Although, the idea wasn't all that unappealing. He honestly didn't like engineering that much, definitely not as much as Jungwoo did. It was his husband's passion, whereas Doyoung had no choice but to follow in his father's footsteps. 

He wouldn't mind staying at home and looking after an army of children while Jungwoo brought home the bacon. 

"Twins don't exactly run in my family, though. So I can't promise anything."

"That's fine, they run in mine!" Jungwoo beamed, squeezing his husband's hand. "We'll just keep trying until we have some!"

Doyoung's face paled at the thought. The two of them had always talked about having a big family, but… Just how big was Jungwoo thinking? 

"I think if I even suggested having another one to Ten he would run a mile." Kun laughed to himself.

He could already imagine the look of pure disbelief on his fiancés face. He would probably insist that if Kun wanted more kids then _he _would be the one getting knocked up, before remembering he would have to top more than once in a blue moon and that just wasn't Ten's style. Way too much effort. He much preferred being pampered.

"Don't think he would be willing to go another nine months without wine. He is absolutely dying to go clubbing and he'll kill me if I take that away from him again."

Jungwoo's eyebrows furrowed a little. Clubbing? That was the furthest thing from his mind. 

"I bet he'll change his mind once the baby is a couple of years old. I've heard you can't just stop at one."

"My parents did… But I did scream the house down until I was like five."

"Okay, yeah. Maybe only one then, if it's anything like you. I think our little bunny is gonna be nice and quiet. They barely ever kick or cause a fuss… It's worrying sometimes, but whenever I start to panic too much they shift around a little so I can feel them. I swear they know what I'm thinking."

"Ten says the same, only he thinks ours is possessed or something because he only kicks at the most inconvenient of times. He loves playing football with Ten's bladder when he's in a meeting with a client and he loves ruining the mood and making himself known when w- Well, you know…" Kun had almost forgotten who he was talking to there. He and Ten were totally open with their sex life with Johnny and Jaehyun - whether the couple wanted to hear it or not. But he didn't know Jungwoo and Doyoung that well yet… He didn't want to totally scare them off. "It drives him crazy, but I just remind him that's totally what he would do if he was a baby. Anything to be annoying."

"Oh, I bet he loves you for that." Doyoung scoffed. Jungwoo wouldn't speak to him for days if he even thought of saying such a thing. But Kun just shrugged. Ten could take just as much as he dished out. It was one of the things Kun likes the most about their relationship. The banter. He wasn't sure he could be with someone he couldn't have a laugh with. 

"It's just how we communicate." He loved that about Ten. He was feisty and loved an argument. But so did he. A stupid argument. Over where the north/south divide was or who was the worst Desperate Housewives character. Things that would always end up in them laughing at what idiots they both were. 

They never actually argued, though. Over serious things. Maybe that was just because they hadn't been together all that long. Kun often forgot about that, actually. It felt like Ten had been in his life… forever. They just fit together perfectly. 

"He probably can't wait to have an excuse to call me everything under the sun when he's in labour."

Jungwoo gasped a little, squeezing his husband's hand again. That… sounded horrible. He was going to need Doyoung to be there by his side. To hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay. He couldn't imagine being mean to him and driving him away. 

Ten and Kun's relationship was so weird to him. 

But… At least they were happy. 

He just hoped their baby would be happy too. Maybe they'd stop the bickering and banter, as they called it, once he arrived. That didn't seem like the environment to raise a child. 

His parents argued a lot and- Well, it wasn't really any of his business. He and Ten hadn't been friends that long, but… 

"You and Ten should come to parenting classes with us! It's on a Tuesday night."

"Parenting classes?" Kun quirked an eyebrow. Was that not… What these were? Ten was due in a couple of months and they had more classes to go to? "What else is there to learn?"

Granted the antenatal classes tended to focus on the pregnancy and giving birth, but… They had learnt a lot about what to expect when Chipmunk came along. How to prepare bottles and swaddling. They had ordered padded everything off amazon to baby proof their house, they just hadn't gotten around to it yet because they didn't see the point in fiddling with extra locks and whatnot before the baby was even here. They didn't need anymore classes… did they? Kun was fairly sure there was no way he would be able to drag Ten out of the house to one of these things twice a week. 

"How to be a good parent! How to raise them and help them grow and learn and get them to sleep and- You don't want to be bad parents, do you? Its just- Well… With how you both are and this being so out if the blue and- Well, maybe you could do with a little guidance."

Jungwoo shrugged as Doyoung and Kun both blinked in response. 

"What? I'm sure they don't want to raise their baby in a club."

Doyoung mouthed a _stop it _at him. Jungwoo was being really fucking rude. 

"I'm just saying. We have no idea what to do either."

"I'm sure we'll be fine." Kun chipped in, forcing a smile into his face. He wasn't entirely sure what Jungwoo was getting at, but he didn't like it. He was fairly sure he was implying he and Ten weren't going to be good parents, but… Kun knew that wasn't true. They were going to be amazing. "It's a learning curve, right? We would rather figure things out ourselves instead of following the rule book of some bored housewife who thinks she's the only person to have ever raised a child."

Kun thanked whatever higher power above that was on his side as the lady in charge clapped her hands to signal they were starting and asked everyone to pair up. It would get him out of this conversation at least. 

He had always thought Jungwoo was nice. He and Ten got on amazingly. 

But maybe not. 

"I'm gonna go pair up with one of the single Dads." He smiled again before taking off. It was a good thing Ten hadn't come tonight. He couldn't hold his tongue quite like Kun could. 

"What the hell was that?" Doyoung hissed as he snapped his head around to look at his husband. 

"What? I only invited them to parenting class."

"Because of _how they both are?"_

"Well, you know… They're- They're hot like how you assume parents would be, are they? They still want to go out clubbing and I don't think having a baby is gonna make them settle down."

"You don't actually think they're going to be out every night, do you? That they'll take their new born to go slut dropping in gay bars? Give them some credit, Woo. They're still allowed to have lives and be themselves. Having a baby doesn't have to change everything."

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing. We want to do this our way and they want to do it theirs. You can't just imply someone is going to be a bad parent like that. You barely know them."

Jungwoo hummed. He just couldn't understand how Kun and Ten seemed to think they could live the way they used to once their kid come along. Were they just going to palm him off on someone else all of the time in favour of getting drunk? Were they going to ignore him when he cried because he would interrupt their sex life? 

He was worried and he wasn't even entirely sure why. Ever since deciding he wanted to keep this baby he had been extra sensitive. Extra protective of all children because… His almost didn't have a chance at life. 

"I just don't want them to do anything wrong."

Doyoung sighed. 

"That's not really any of your concern, baby. We have our own to focus on. I'm sure Kun and Ten know exactly what they're doing. 

༓࿇༓

Kun returned home later that evening to find Ten exactly where he left him, curled up in his side in bed with his phone in his hand. 

"Have you moved? Need me to help you go to the bathroom?"

"Jesus!" Ten jumped, clearly too engrossed in the makeup tutorial he was watching but would never bother attempting. "I'm fine. I was able to go piss by myself, thank you."

Kun smiled to himself as he slipped out of his clothes and crawled in next to his fiancé. 

"How was class?"

"Weird." Kun snuggled into Ten's back, instantly feeling better as he wrapped his arms around the younger. "Acting out the stages of crowning wasn't as fun without you there to freak out about it."

Ten laughed softly under his breath, his hand coming to rest on top of Kun's which was exactly where it belonged - on his swollen tummy. 

The two of them slipped into a comfortable silence, Ten focusing on his Youtuber's and Kun presumably nodding off to sleep, even though it wasn't that late. 

"Do you think we're gonna be good parents?"

Ten paused a moment. Where was that coming from? 

"I do. Why?"

"I just…"

"Did something happen?" Kun had always been the one to reassure Ten they were going to be just fine what made him change his tune? 

"No! No." Kun didn't want to bring up what Jungwoo had said. Didn't want there to be any problems between him and Ten because he knew how much Ten needed someone who was just as far along as he was. Sure, he had Jaehyun now, but Ten himself had said it wasn't the same. "Jungwoo just mentioned parenting classes and-"

Ten scoffed. 

"Those are bullshit."

"Well, maybe, but-"

"Turn me over."

Kun sat up, helping Ten do the same so he could settle down on his other side. Rolling was no longer an option for him. 

"We don't need some jumped up bitch telling us how to raise our kid. We already have one of those. His name is Taeyong."

Kun feigned a little smile. He would usually find that hilarious. What was going on with him?

Ten shuffled a little closer, so his bump was pressing up against Kun's stomach. 

"I don't want to be told what to do; I want to figure out what's best for us. I don't- I don't want the pressure of feeling like I have to breastfeed for a certain amount of time or being judged by people who think they're better at this than me. I don't want to be like them."

Kun's eyes flickered down to Ten's bump for a second. Maybe he was just freaking out and questioning everything now they were approaching the final hurdle. 

"We don't need that cause we're going to be just fine. We'll raise him our way and he'll turn out amazing because he's going to have two parents who love him more than anything. Right?"

"Right."

Ten giggled as the baby kicked against Kun's stomach. 

"I think he missed his Baba."

Kun smiled brightly, pushing Ten's shirt up just a little so he could feel their baby moving against bare skin. 

"He already knows we love him and that's what's most important. We'll figure out the rest as we go."

"Yeah…" Kun breathed, fingers moving against Ten's skin. He shouldn't listen to anyone else. They were going to be just fine. "When did you become the sensible one, huh?"

"Since I haven't been able to have a drink for seven months." Ten snorted. "The moment I pop him out I want you waiting with a bottle of Chardonnay."

That made Kun smile even wider. He could only imagine Jungwoo's face if he heard that. 

But that's what he loved about Ten so much. He wasn't going to change one bit. He would still be his witty, bratty fun-loving self. Only with an adorable baby to come home to at the end of the night. 

And their kid was going to be a riot too, he just knew it. 

"I mean, I was planning on pouring you an expensive G and T, but…"

Ten gasped. "With lemon?"

"And three ice cubes just how you like it."

"Oh my god I love you!" Ten whined. "But you're making me thirsty. Get me a tonic and lemon and I'll pretend it has Monkey 47 in it."

Kun brushed his fingers against Ten's stomach one last time as their baby kicked again, backing up his Mama and telling Baba to go fetch the drink. Maybe he was thirsty too. 

"Okay, okay. I'm going." Kun held his hands up in surrender as Ten giggled. Their baby boy was definitely going to be on his side. He couldn't wait for them to both gang up on Kun when he was a little older. 

"Anything for my princess," Kun leaned in to press a kiss to Ten's forehead, before dipping down to kiss his stomach, "and our little Chipmunk."

༓࿇༓

"Hey, can I have Friday morning off?"

Johnny looked up from his computer to find Xuxi standing next to his desk, fiddling with Johnny's stapler. 

"Why?"

"I have a doctor's appointment."

Johnny sighed. He always told Xuxi not to book any appointments during work time. They couldn't really afford to take any time off at the moment. 

"I'm sorry, but we're really busy. You'll have to change it."

Xuxi sighed. He couldn't just change it. 

"Ten always gets time off."

"Ten's pregnant."

Xuxi swallowed thickly, suddenly becoming very interested in Johnny's stapler. 

"So… if I was pregnant I'd get to go?"

Johnny's eyes narrowed. What was Xuxi getting at here? Was he...

"Are you..?"

"I won't be if you let me go to this appointment."

Johnny sighed again. Jesus Christ what was going on here? How come literally everyone Johnny knew was getting knocked up. He better not be next. He wasn't even sure he and Jaehyun would be able to cope with the one, never mind two kids. 

"And that's definitely what you want?"

"Johnny." Xuxi deadpanned. "I just got out of uni and I'm single. You think I'm ready for a baby? This is my dream job I'm not gonna-" He took a deep breath. He loved kids, wanted kids, but not this one. Not right now. "It's not the right time."

"Okay." Johnny nodded, if that's what Xuxi wanted then he was going to support him. He just needed to make sure he wasn't making a decision he was going to regret in the future. "You can have Friday morning off, what time is your appointment. I'll come pick you up."

"Wh- Johnny, you don't have to do that."

"Do you have someone else to go with?"

"N-No I was just gonna go on my own..."

"Then I'm coming with you. We can go for a burger after, my treat. I don't want you doing this alone."

Xuxi smiled softly. When he first came to work for Johnny and Ten he saw it as a kind of stepping stone. He hadn't had any luck applying for bigger design companies because they all said he was too inexperienced, so he figured he should work for a smaller company first, get his foot in the door. 

But it turned out he actually really liked working here. He liked Ten and Johnny as people and maybe he was even starting to consider them as friends. 

"That'd be nice, thanks."

And that's how Johnny found himself sitting in the reception area of an abortion clinic on a Friday morning in the middle of January. It was weird, considering his own boyfriend was back at home eleven weeks pregnant, but he wanted to be here to support Xuxi. He was so young and Johnny didn't want him to go through this on his own. 

He hadn't expected things to take so long, though... It had been almost three hours since Xuxi left him. He was starting to worry a little, making the mistake of googling abortion horror stories. 

"All done." Xuxi smiled softly as he re-joined Johnny, throwing the backpack he'd left on the chair next to his boss over his shoulder. "Hey, can we go to Shake Shack? I haven't been there forever."

Johnny breathed a sigh of relief. He seemed fine. 

"Yeah...sure."

The two of them walked to the fast food restaurant in near silence, and since it was only a few blocks away Johnny didn't see the point in taking the car, so he left it at the clinic. It would have taken longer to find a new parking spot anyway. 

"Thank you for… not judging me or whatever." Xuxi hadn't even told any of his friends he'd gotten knocked up. Hell, he wouldn't have told Johnny if he didn't need the time off. 

"Why would I judge you? 

"It's just...you and Jae are having a baby and so is Ten and- I dunno, I was worried you'd think I was a bad person or something."

"Accidents happen." Johnny and Jaehyun knew that better than anyone. And Ten too, actually. They had both considered getting an abortion themselves when they found out, but they decided it wasn't what they wanted. 

Johnny would never have judged either Ten or Jaehyun if they had gone through with their terminations, if they had done what was right for them. And he certainly wasn't going to judge Xuxi either. 

"It's your body. If you're not ready then you're not ready."

Xuxi gave Johnny a weak smile, thumbs hooked in the straps of his backpack. 

"I do want to be a Dad one day...but not yet. It's too soon."

"And I'm sure you'll be a great Dad when you're older, Xuxi. But for now, you get to be mine and Ten's on call baby sitter." Xuxi laughed as Johnny pushed the front door to Shake Shack open for him. He'd like that, actually. Looking after kids was a lot of fun when he got to hand them back at the end of the night. "You go get a seat, I'll order."

Xuxi did as he was told, playing on his phone until Johnny came back with food. He was starving, probably because the hormones weren't going to wear off instantly. All he'd done the past few weeks was eat...even more than usual. 

"How you feeling?" Johnny asked as he sat down opposite Xuxi. He wasn't used to him being so quiet. 

"Alright." Xuxi shrugged. He wasn't upset or anything; it was a seven week old ball of cells, not like it was an actual baby or anything. "It felt weird, but it's okay. They said I should go home and rest or whatever but I feel good."

Johnny hummed, he wasn't sure Xuxi should be ignoring important medical advice like that. 

"Maybe you should go home. Take the rest of the day off."

"I don't want to."

"Xuxi." Johnny tilted his head, giving his stern father look a test drive. He'd have to perfect it before Jellybean came along. "You've just had a serious medical procedure, if they've said you should rest then you should listen to them."

Xuxi sighed. He would hardly class getting a few cells sucked out of him as a serious medical procedure, but… he was starting to cramp up. He'd be fine, though. He couldn't leave Johnny to work alone. Ten had the day off, it wouldn't be fair. 

"We have work to do."

"It's Friday, it can wait. Nothing is urgent. If you're that worried you can come in tomorrow or do some work from home. But today, you're gonna go home and take care of yourself, okay?"

Xuxi whined. Why was Johnny so fucking nice? He really could ask for a better boss. 

"Okay fine." It looked like he wasn't going to be getting his own way with this one. "God, you're gonna be such a good Dad. 

Johnny laughed under his breath as he took a bite from his burger. That was nice to hear. He really hoped so. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
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